I am a new grandma to a 4 month old and I have been babysitting her since she was 6 weeks old. My DIL and I have never been really close but have had no problems until now. She checks up on me several times during the day which is not the main problem although it makes me feel like she does not trust me at all. the biggest problem is she does not want me to take the baby out of the house at all. She demands to know exactly where I will be at all times and how long I plan on being there. If I stray from the itinerary (like stop to get milk) I am supposed to check in with her and tell her how long I intend to be there. Then if I take 5 minutes longer she calls me and is very snippy asking "where are you?" Even if I am pulling into my driveway at that time I am expected to call her the minute I get the baby inside. I also have to be in the house at all other times (can't take the baby for a walk even or sit on the front porch) so that I can answer the phone whenever she calls. I have tried to comply and just bite my tongue and smile but I am really beginning to feel smothered. Sometimes I have errands to run or just feel like getting out of the house and enjoying a pretty day. I am at my wits end with this and would like some opinions as to what I should do. I am feeling very stressed out from her control and my son is no help in this situation. She tells him what to do and he does it. I love getting to take care of grandbaby but cannot give up control of my life to this girl.She also accuses me in a round about way of feeding the baby the wrong formula any time she gets really snippy and controlling and I disobey (baby has acid reflux and her formula has been changed several times but she still has bad spit up days even after a weekend when I have not been near her.
Should I just continue to let her dictate to me to be able to continue to see my grandbaby (I fear I will never get to see her if I am not babysitting her) or should I tell her I have had enough and things either change or she needs to put baby in daycare? Her attitude and manner with me are getting increasingly more demanding and I am ready to explode.Appreciate any opinions.