Grieving for my children
I appologize if I start to babble, it seems though that it helps sometimes. I've found it harder and harder to move on. I gave birth to my stillborn twin sons on feb. 7th of this year. It seems as though everyone else has forgotten what exactly happened. I'm just now beginning to grieve because in the beginning I was numb. For weeks I walked around numb, not feeling anything in particular. Now that I'm actually feeling my pain, it seems as though everyone is like "you should be over this by now". So I act as though nothing is bothering me and that I am. In reality I feel as though my whole world has collapsed. I just can't understand everything. It's as though somehow the world kept moving but I stood still for the longest time. Now I'm lost. In my mind I keep telling myself that it's spring and I should start new, but everytime that I try something reminds me of my pain, my loss. I've tried books. Reading about how to grieve and to do it easily. None seem to work. Seems as though they all say the same thing "remember the times you had with them." That's difficult when there aren't 'times' to remember with them. Well, i'm sorry for this being such a long post and for ranting like I have been.
LOVES -N- DOVES,