My 13 YO in Psychiatric Ward
I don't really know how to write this except that I so need to make contact with others and hope that someone out there will respond. I had my son at 41 at he was my heart's desire. But something just never was right with him. Even as an infant he didn't want to be held. Now he's a chess champion and at college level math in 7th grade but he is autistic (high functioning) and perhaps psychotic. His conversation at home is how he wants to be a cat. It sounds crazy, I know. William's dad and I divorced in 1996. Will lives with his dad and stepmom by his choice. Last week they checked him into UCLA's adolescent psychiatric ward, with my approval. I am grieving although I am glad that he is there. Maybe there will be some help for him although after going through multiple psychologists and psychiatrists, I am not sure. Parenthood has not turned out how I thought it would. Maybe this is part of the cycle of life, but it is so difficult. I cry inside for this child who lacks so many aspects of really being a person, including empathy. There is nothing really to say except how difficult it really is. We try but I think, ultimately, that there really isn't much help for a kid that refuses to be helped (he lies on the floor and says "meow" in therapy sesions, and this with an IQ at genius level.) Last night he hit me on the head when I visited him in the hospital. I guess God wants me to learn how to handle this.