My baby sister killed herself...

westpsyFebruary 17, 2013

and this is the first forum I found. I stayed with my parents for a week to help them but I am back where I work now. I tried to be strong for my family during the time but now that I am alone I feel this distant yearning, I don't feel right. I looked after her my whole life. She came to me for advice and I gave her the best I could. She suffered from mental illness so I got my masters in counseling in hopes of helping her. I just feel like I have failed her.

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I am so sorry that you've lost your dear sister.

The life path of anyone who has "mental illness" (I don't think there's really such a thing; I think it's more accurate as well as kinder to call it "brain disfunction") is rocky & filled with obstacles.

& there's only so much they, or you, or I, can do to ease the journey.

Please remember what your education taught you;
we recover from grief & loss in stages, & each stage takes its own time.

You've taken on a lot of responsibility, to your sister & to your parents;
be as kind to yourself as you have been to others, be patient with yourself, give yourself *time*.

Again, I'm so very sorry, & I wish you the very best.

    Bookmark   February 18, 2013 at 11:17AM
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My thoughts are with you. I hope that you can find a support group for yourself at this difficult timel

    Bookmark   February 18, 2013 at 10:22PM
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God bless you. There is nothing more that you could have done. Don't let the enemy trick you into thinking this was your fault. Be strong and think of how she would want you to move forward.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2013 at 7:03AM
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I have to start by saying that I have never joined a forum in my life. I saw this and felt pulled to do so for about two days prior to giving in.

I just want to support you in your grieving because your story is my story. My sister overdosed on 6/13/13. She had mental illness(bipolar and addiction), was 28 weeks pregnant at the time, and "they" were taking her off her meds the past month due to the pregnancy.

I became a counselor 16 years ago in a sole effort to help her. It worked for many years and then she is gone. Just like that. I am not working as of 07/03/13. I can't think of anything else, so like you the burden of guilt and sorrow is consuming. (yes, I have been to alanon for years) Grief changes everything for me and I can't even begin to describe what it is like for my parents.

I guess I wanted to tell you that someone really "knows." I found some help in the book entitled "Surviving The Death of an Adult Sibling" by TJ Wray. She also has a website and forum.

The book addresses the sibling connection and how in some cases it falls under "disenfranchised grief." I feel that becoming a counselor in order to understand and better help my baby sister takes it to a new level. I feel like such a fraud and a so many ways.

I hope you are OK and that you are getting support from those that know you best. I can't say how this is supposed to get better or different but hang in there.

    Bookmark   August 27, 2013 at 10:12PM
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