Help me to understand
I posted on the marriage page when I was done I seen the Grieving page. So im here hoping to get some insight. I have dealt with death before loosing my mom to canser and my Dad my grandma who was like a second mom and others. I have never lost a spouse. But reading some of these storeys makes my heart hurt. I was lost for awhile but I new that they would want me to go on . And to no that one day i will see them again. So i have experanced loss. The reason i am here tonight is i married a widower. We dated a year before getting married. He said he was ready. I know that when a person dies we will miss them always. But i have never been married to a widower. Let me tell you I cry alot. Im sorry his wife passed away. But I cant bring her back. He has called me by her name a few times and I tell myself you need to understand he lost his partner in life. He has dreams about her and tells me.. where she pasted they put out lights and he always calls me to let me no if they are working bright or not and maybe we need to get some new ones. every new person we meet he has to tell them about his wife who passed. he deals with contractors and he always is telling them how he is learning to do the paper work its been 5 years. and he steal refers to her as his wife. I love my husband very much. Im not sure if its just me am i reading to much into it.counceling is out of the question . He says he is ok but I dont think so. He wont let me go because he says i only want them to tell me what i want to here. Thats not it I just want to no how to let it stop hurting me. We have sex maybe 3 times a year at first he said it was because he felt like he was cheating. then said its because of the medication he is on. I asked him why he feels he needs to keep telling people about his wifes death and he said he likes the sympathy. and in my mind im thinking but what about my feelings. he is not the type of man you can just sit down with and talk about this. He wasnt like that when we were dating. Please i need your help like i said i love him and i feel like i am becoming bitter.