Warning dream?

enjohnsonFebruary 10, 2009

Hello there,

I lost my mom 4 months ago to breast cancer. She was 47 and we were best friends. My whole family misses her very very much and it has been extremely rough without her.

Since she died, my whole family has had dreams about her. I don't think that I have personally got any visits from her because all my dreams have been very sad so far. They are always of her very sick again and me knowing I have to say goodbye. However, my husband has had some dreams of her, where he sees her but knows she is dead and hasn't talked to her. The thing is, last night he had a very upsetting dream that we can't tell if it was real or just a dream.

I should preface this with saying that lately he has been very protective of our 14 month old soon. He worries about everything that can happen to him. I think this started since my mom passed and we had to go through all of that. Well last night, he had a dream that we were shopping with my sister and my mom was with us. She kept disappearing and coming back. My sister couldn't see her though. Then, we were shopping for beds he said and we were all sitting on a bed talking. He told her that he missed her and loved her and she said she had been spending a lot of time with my son. Then she started to cry and he said "what's wrong?" she said she needed to tell him something about my son and all she said was "4". He panicked and and said "4 what? 4 years, 4 months??" and she said "weeks" and then she disappeared. next he dreamed that he took our son to the hospital and asked them to test him for everything.

He told me this dream this morning and I am terrified. On one hand, I think that my mom wouldn't do that to us, she wouldn't scare us and not give us enough information to do anything about what might happen. Also, I have heard that actual visits from loved ones feel very real and are very vivid and make sense. His dream was somewhat jumbled and fragmented and he said even in his dream he thought "this can't be happening, its not real". He can't remember what Mom was wearing and things like that, so maybe it wasn't that vivid. However, I'm a mess. I stress out so easily and I'm so worried about this. What am I supposed to do? Do you think this is just a dream and all his subconsious things that he has been worried about came into this dream? What would you do? I'm just sick over this.

Thanks for listening, sorry if this sounds crazy but I'm really upset.

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Don't worry about it. Seriously. I have had dreams of winning the lottery. Did it happen? No. My dad had a dream a few years ago about the day/year he would die. It was tattoed on his hand in his dream. He couldn't make out the date, but just the year: 2008. He is still with us in the new year. Dreams are not accurate for the most part. Don't worry. Live your life and don't get over taken with superstition.


    Bookmark   February 10, 2009 at 8:01PM
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Breathe in, breathe out.

This dream isn't a warning, it's just a dream;
it's about hubs's anxieties, which are so intense that they're overloading his conscious mind & erupting in his dreams.

Your mother is a symbol/stand-in for his fears, which is one reason he dreamed everyone was sitting together on the bed;
it underscores closeness (if someone *this close* to me can die, then no one who's close to me is safe).

The "4", I'd guess, is in his mind because she's been gone 4 months, but fear is irrational & always thinks things are worse, & so she (he) says "4 weeks".

I do think it's very touching that your hubs feels like your mother was so close (sitting together on the bed, he could see her even though your sister couldn't, etc).

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Reassure your husband, & take good care of that little one;
he's the next link in your mother's chain of life.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2009 at 4:17PM
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Thank you all so much for your reassurance. It makes me feel a lot better. My husband loved my mom like she was his own mother so is having a hard time. I think that's very very insightful to say that he is worried that if someone that close to him can die, so can someone else. Also, I never even thought of the 4 as representing the 4 months that she's been gone. Come to think of it, she died on the 8th and he had the dream the night of the 9th! Also, maybe he has been so anxious about my son because this has really made us face the prospect of death and our own and loved ones' immortality. I never thought of that before but just took it literally.

Thanks again for your reassurance. It means a lot!

    Bookmark   February 11, 2009 at 10:36PM
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Our minds create these things out of snatches of heard things, tv shows, memories and anxieties. If you are into dream interpretation, and there's mixed opinions of that too, they rarely mean what they appear to mean.

I can understand how - I can't even think of the words - frightening something like that could be, when you're still devastated by such events, but that's kind of how we react I guess. Perhaps a subconscious reminder that life is precious. I am fortunate to have had a powerful reminder, without losing anyone (although I am estranged from my youngest daughter and in a sense grieve for her every day) because I met my soul mate, my second wife, in a million to one coincidence/chance meeting, and I remind myself to be thankful for her every day, and often hold her close, not wanting to ever let go. I don't mean this to sound creepy or weird, but if she goes before me, I don't think I will have much interest in staying around, because I know the best part of my life will have passed, such is the love I have for her.

I do wonder if there's too much of this stuff on tv though, the premonitions, etc. Good story lines but can mess with one's mind.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2009 at 3:38AM
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