question

mommyof09November 5, 2001

I have a 14 yr old daughter...she was the frist grandchild on both sides of the family.

and I get told by my husbands parents that she is the favorite..the special one because she was the frist born.... this really hurts the other kids...does anyone else here feel the same..and why?

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SheliaNC

I have a 2 yr. old granddaughter and a 5 yr. old step grandson. I love both of them with all of my heart and I try not to make any difference in either one of them. However there is a special bond there in my heart for my granddaughter since she is my first born grandchild. I would in no way ever tell this to either one of my grandchildren.

    Bookmark   November 6, 2001 at 9:20AM
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Anon_msn_com

My son was the first born in MIL,s family and she ended up having 21 grandkids. She loved them all equally but, she always told my son he was her favorite. I have 2 grandsons, 14 months apart (same parents) and yes there is a special bond with the first one. However, they will never know it, one is my favorite blue-eyed boy and the other is my favorite brown-eyed boy.

    Bookmark   November 6, 2001 at 5:29PM
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bettygay50_yahoo_com

Please have a talk with your husband's parents and ask them kindly to "drop the favorite" word. As horrible as this sounds there are many adults still carrying around the feelings of hearing "so and so was the favorite".

The posting above by Anon@msn.com is the absolute best answer I have ever read!!! The wisdom is in the last sentence. Suggest to your husband's parents that they adopt this attitude and put words to it about each of their grandchildren.

Grandchildren are truly a blessing from above and a fantastic reward for a job well done!!!

    Bookmark   November 6, 2001 at 6:11PM
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PattyC

I have 6 grandkids and ,yes, the first one, my grandson, is the most dear to my heart. But I would never tell anyone. It would hurt too many feelings.

    Bookmark   November 6, 2001 at 8:05PM
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mommyof09

I guess I just don't understand it.
Maybe I will when I have grandchildren.
But.... I don't have favorites among my children.
I love them all the same but differantly for the way they are.
It just hurts to hear from Megan(the 2nd grandchild) that grandma loves Erica more or Pappy buys stuff for Erica and takes her everywhere but not me.
Megan cries.
I just don't understand them,,,how could they do that to Megan?....I've told them what Megan saids and they just cuss Megan about it.
So- I don't say nothing anymore to them.
Thanks for all the comments!!!

    Bookmark   November 7, 2001 at 1:18AM
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tomsmom22

When I was little I loved my great grandma more than anyone in the world--she was MY favorite, until my cousin came along. My mom remembers me asking her "why didn't grandma come to see me first" and I really took it hard, b/c I could see the differences after my cousin was born. She got more attention, more "stuff" and I wasn't getting it anymore. Now, I know that she loves me and she'd never do anything outright to hurt my feelings by making a difference, she just doesn't realize it, and I had to realize that in order for it not to affect me. Hope that made sense.

On the other side of this, I have one son and I couldn't imagine my parents loving another child as much as they love him now. Nor could I see my inlaw's loving another grandchild any more. There's something about first born's, at least in most cases. :)

    Bookmark   November 7, 2001 at 11:09PM
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Dutchvrouw_aol_com

I worried about this very thing when our second grandchild was on the way. I was amazed and delighted to find I love each grandchild intensely. We now have seven. I love each one of them the BEST and I could tell you 20 reasons why each one of them is the most magnificent child you could ever imagine. I can't imagine telling any of them, "You're my favorite," however.

    Bookmark   November 8, 2001 at 12:16AM
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Binkie

I have 2 grandsons. I'd never tell but the parents just "know." The birth of my first grandson was the happiest day of my life. He was extraordinarily beautiful and small.
I held him for half an hour before my DD ever held him.
I actually wanted to steal him; I am serious. I hated to hand him over but knew I had to. I do not know how I ever slept that night I was so excited I was wound up tight as a drum. He is so charismatic, beautiful and intelligent (but not as cute as his first year)! LOL Family members, at various times, have expressed the desire to adopt him when my DD has acted up. He is So Special. binkie

    Bookmark   November 8, 2001 at 6:46PM
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mommyof09

Thanks for all the comments/stories and opinions.
I just hope that I never feel like my frist grandchild is more special then the others..cause that is not the way it should be.
All grand babies are special ..frist or lasted.
I don't know.... I guess I'll have to have another LONG talk with the grandma.

    Bookmark   November 8, 2001 at 11:38PM
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twoinunion_yahoo_com

I have a granddaughter & a grandson. I was in the delivery room with both & I feel a very strong connection with both of them. I love them with all my heart. My granddaughter was firstborn. She gets alot of the attention now because she is older & my grandson is still a baby. But pretty soon that will change & they will both get the same amount of attention that they deserve.

    Bookmark   November 9, 2001 at 5:17AM
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