How Can She be Gone

sandyl36February 3, 2007

I think I am still in shock, I just cannot believe I will never see my mother again. My Mom and best friend passed away unexpectedly on January 10, 2007 at the age of 59. Mom was the one that held the family together, every holiday, celebration and special moment was spent at moms house, saturday night texas hold 'em' with all the family. How can we go on, the pain is so unreal. I spend all day at moms house and think of all the memories. I spent all of my free time with my mom, we were very close. I think the thing that hurts me the most is that I didnt get to tell her goodbye, and that I love her so very very much. Mom I love you so very very much ! Sandy

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mav63_2007

I send my sincere condolences on the death of your darling Mother, I am so sad for you, you have had a terrible shock. I will pray God will help you through this. You are stunned because your whole world had just been shattered. I know that you want to wake up and find that this is all a bad dream. I hope someone is near to hold and hug you because I know you need that right now. God Bless.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2007 at 3:31PM
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nikkiandjacksmom

Sandy
I can totally relate to how you feel. My dad was only 68 and was my best friend. He died unexpectedly from a brain bleed (stroke). I wasnt there when he died in the cat scan machine. By the time I got there he was already gone. He was fine the nite before. I think when someone passes on unexpectedly, I wont say die because they never really die, that is the hardest kind of passing to except. We never got to say good bye or hold his hand when he parted. The hurt is so gut wrenching and the lonely feeling is unbearable at times. My dad is gone only 14 months but it feels like yesterday. I miss everything about him. Everyone kept telling me that in time I will find somewhere to put the pain and I will start remembering only happy thaughts. I really dont think you ever get over it. Its a shock to our systems. Have faith and believe you will see your mom again. Her work here was done. But you still are here to do your job. When the time is right, we will be reunited with our loved ones. The last time i saw my dad was the nite before he passed. I Told him I loved him and I'll see you later. That was it. no goodbyes. because its truly really never goodbye. Its more like, I'll be seeing you again. If you want to e-mail me thats fine. Id be happy to talk to you. You will be OK. The hurt you feel is showing you how much you were loved and how much you loved your mom. I still cry and get very angry that my dad left. There are no quick fixes and no answers to my questions. My heart goes out to you and I hope and pray as every day that passes, you will become a little bit stronger. Its not fair but we cant question God. Just have faith and know that he is always walking one step ahead of you. And he wont give you more than you can handle. I know that seems very unbelievable to say, everyone told me that right after my dad passed and I wanted to tell them all to just leave me alone. But its true. He will guide you if you let him. Your mom will always be with you, you keep her alive in your heart, just as I do with my dad. Try to keep all your family traditions going. If it was important to your mom than I am sure she would want you to continue your family get togethers. I am a mom and when I pass I wouldnt want my children to stop living there lives and keep mourning over me. A mom only wants her kids to be happy. She's watching you always, so dont let everything she taught you be forgotten. I hope this helped you in some way. I really and truly know how you feel.

Kathy

    Bookmark   February 3, 2007 at 6:30PM
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jlj48

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my dear Mother 2 years ago in March. She, too was my very best friend in the whole world. I loved her so much yet feel like I failed her. So many mixed feelings and unresolved stuff. There is just no good way to lose someone that you love and you are never ever ready to let them go. Just live as she would want you to and hold your Mother and your memories with her close in your heart. Have her special things around you. Talk about her. And hang in there and take help and comfort from those who offer and care about you. You will always miss her, but your days will get easier, I promise.

    Bookmark   February 7, 2007 at 10:38PM
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mav63_2007

Sandy,
You can talk to your Mom, I talk to my husband and I find that it keeps him closer, I ask him to help me make decisions etc. I am going on a trip and I keep telling him that "we" are going on a trip and I really feel like I am taking him with me in my heart and not leaving him behind. I hope you understand what I mean (and you don't think I'm crazy), I know it helps me.

    Bookmark   February 8, 2007 at 9:00AM
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sheltiemom

She's only a thought away. My mother passed away in 1991 at age 59. What an incredibly young age to go. You really can still talk to your mom at any time. I firmly believe that she will hear you and, if you pay attention, she may talk back! You have my deepest sympathy.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2007 at 6:23PM
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jenniferw

Sandy...I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. My mother passed away on 5/12/2005 at the age of 57. She died suddenly in her sleep...it was such a shock to us all. My deepest regret is that I never got to say goodbye, tell her I how much I loved her and how sorry I was for all the things that had gone wrong, in our otherwise wonderful relationship, right before her death. But I've learned to deal with that regret by "talking" to her almost daily. Although I miss her with all of my heart and soul, my grief has finally lessened enough for me to smile at the memories instead of break down and cry. I laugh out loud all of the time at things she would have laughed at with me. I know it's hard to believe right now, but it will get easier with time and you'll be able to come to terms with this horrible tragedy. My thoughs and prayers are with you.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2007 at 6:52PM
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