My son is missing his father dearly!

wyatts_mommyFebruary 26, 2007

My son is 6 yrs old, his daddy was murdered 9 months ago. He is a very smart, very aware little boy and he hurts so bad! Almost every night we cry, because he misses his daddy and wants him back, we both do. His daddy was/is his hero. He keeps telling me that he wishes his daddy would be alive again. I've caught him scratching himself and his counselor says to keep a closer eye on him. I feel like the most inadequate mother since nothing I do can help his pain. Is there anything anyone knows to do to help my baby? I am willing to try anything!! I hate not being able to help him! He just doesn't laugh the same anymore and I miss that wholehearted from the bottom of his soul belly laugh, and it breaks my heart to think I'll never hear it again

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kayjones

Oh, I am so sorry for both of you. What does his counselor say, besides 'keep an eye on him'? Does he suggest group therapy with other children? Also, call Hospice in your area and ask if they have any suggestions. Have you talked to his pediatrician?

At this age, one has to be careful, as children this age are very impressionable.

Keep us informed, and my prayers go out to both of you at this very difficult time in your lives.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2007 at 1:40PM
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socks

Have you done anything to memorialize your husband's memory? Like plant a tree, create a scrapbook of special pictures, write down or have your son dictate memories to you so you can type them up. He could collect cans and bottles to recycle and donate the money to a charity his dad liked. This type of thing can create a stronger link with his father. Remind him that even though daddy is gone, one thing that will never go away is his love for daddy. He will always, always love his dad.

Keep your son busy, but not overly busy. Make sure he spends time with friends and family.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Not only are you grieving for your husband, but you are very worried about your son. It's a real double whammy. Take care.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2007 at 8:22PM
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wyatts_mommy

Thank you both. I have set up a meeting with him counselor where I hope to discuss other options. His pediatrician said he should try counseling with the school first then we'll see how that goes. As for memorializing him, I hadn't thought of the memories scrapbook thank you very much and I will start on that tonight. His father was a Marine, as was I, I think I'll set something up where he can send stuff to our Troops
overseas. I think my monster will like that.

Thank you very much and I'm still open to any suggestions

    Bookmark   March 2, 2007 at 12:06AM
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socks

You could have your son dictate his memories to you while you type--his earliest memory of daddy, going to daddy's favorite restaurant, dad's favorite foods, etc. He could draw pictures of his own, put in photos, ticket stubs, wrapper from Dad's favorite candy bar, pictures of Dad's parents or siblings, anything and everything which fits into a scrapbook. You could even draw up a family tree to put in it. It would be a satisfying project. I made two scrapbooks of my parents when they were both gone, one for each of my sons.

We lost a dear family member, and my son and I put together three identical small photo albums of her to give to other family members as mementos. We chose the photos, the order of the photos, got them printed, and so forth. It was a good thing for us to do together instead of just sitting around feeling bad (not that you are doing that, please don't misunderstand).

Take care.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2007 at 2:36PM
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