tori81February 1, 2006

I'm 24 and on February 10th it will be 5years since my mother passed away and two weeks ago I lost my dad. I just got married in December and I just feel so overwhelmed, I will just be sitting there and it will hit me I'm so alone. I miss him so much. Why does life always have to be about losing the ones I love. How can I cope with this? How do I get rid of this feeling of being overwhelmed and alone?

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I am so sorry for your losses. I know that sometimes it seems like too much to take in. I know how it feels to feel orphaned, and alone. I too, lost my parents and it is overwhelming for me too. But listen, life is not about losing the ones you love, although it feels like that right now. You are so young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Your parents wouldn't want you to feel so down. Focus on your new husband and your life together. Take this one day at a time. Write down your feelings in journals or poems. Do you have sisters and brothers? Talk to each other. Share your grief with others who love you. You just lost your dad so recently. You need to give yourself more time. You will always miss him. But you CAN go on and you will be happy again, I know it. Please let yourself grieve right now. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Please right back and tell us about him and your mom too.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 7:51PM
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Tori, it is not surprising that you are overwhelmed with sadness. The previous poster, Joanie, gave you some good advice. Talking with others helps so very much. Share your feelings.

Be kind and patient with yourself, allow yourself time to grieve. The healing process is painfully slow. You'll always miss your parents, but know that you have bright and happy years ahead. Take care.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 9:10PM
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Hi Tori,

You're so young to have lost both your parents -- not that it's any easier when you're older, but somehow it doesn't seem right when you get cheated out of that time with them. All I can say is, some days are better than others. When the bad days come, know that they will pass. Grief takes as long as it takes and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Let your husband support you -- he might be feeling helpless, just watching you in pain. I highly recommend either personal therapy or a grief support group...or both. Be gentle with yourself (it's always so easy to give that advice...I just posted on another thread about the guilt I feel over being impatient with my mother when she was sick!).

Sending you warm thoughts and hugs.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2006 at 8:22PM
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Check in the paper, with a local medical center, YMCA to see if there are support groups avaiable. Grief sessions really do help. Check with a church if you wish. There is help avaiable. Good luck

    Bookmark   February 4, 2006 at 10:48PM
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Sweet Tori,

Your parents are not lost. They have just gone on to another beautiful valley of life. Think of how glorious it must be for them both to be together again. Get a new rosebud. Slowly move that rose across your cheeks with your eyes closed. That is how you felt to your mothers lips the first time she kissed you when you were a infant. Slowly move the rose across your lips and eyes. That is how it felt to your father when he kissed you for the first time as a newborn child. Now you can feel your parents prescence when you are overwhelmed. It will help you find that peace and serenity your soul is needing. It will not make everything better.Maybe just a little comfort long enough to help you cope. As a parent of 4 I am finding a little peace and comfort in this manner to help me cope with the death of my 23 year old son who left this world on Dec. 6,2005 while riding his motorcycle.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2006 at 1:09AM
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Thank you for your precious words. I don't know if you have helped Tori or not but you sure have helped me. I wish you peace on your journey without your precious son. Remember your words.

    Bookmark   February 6, 2006 at 2:32PM
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