Grandparents travelling

TerrylOctober 29, 2001

Every year my parents travel to Arizona and Mexico for a few months. I have two daughters now 4 and 2. The past years the girls were too small to know the differance that they were gone, but now they ask for them almost every day. It is breaking my heart to try and explain to my 2 year old why she can't see Grama and Papa. This is the first year they have been gone for almost six months (missing halloween and christmas ) I feel they are being selfish going for so long. I really want them to have a holiday and enjoy themselves, the work hard all year and deserve it but isn't 6 months a bit much. The are in their 50's and I feel the kids will only be this little once. These are the only grandchildren they will ever have, seeing how my only other sibling doesn't want kids. I would really like some input. Am I being selfish or what?

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MauiSG

I understand your concern. Your parents have done their job. Let them have the chance to be happy together again (by themselves) while they are still young enough to enjoy life and each other. There are plenty of ways to keep in touch with them; call, write, email, etc. Have you seen the thread about long distance grandparents?

Here is a link that might be useful: Long Distance Grandparents

    Bookmark   October 29, 2001 at 6:18PM
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123_345_com

Please, please, let them have their time when they can enjoy it. My father planned to retire at 62--and travel with my mother. He retired, but by then had been diagnosed with cancer. How I would have loved to see them have the time to enjoy themselves for at least a few years.

Don't take their pleasure away from them--instead, may I respectfully recommend turning this into a plus? If possible, have your parents make videos of their travels--that include plenty of shots of themselves, of course--to send home to the girls. Kids love getting postcards and the pictures will help them understand where their grandparents are. Buy phone cards when they're on sale and send them to your parents along with your daughters' crayon pictures so they can call frequently. In a year or two, this will be a great learning experience--you'll be able to pull out a map and show them where Grandma and Grandpa are; to check the weather channel each day to see if it's sunny/raining/etc on G & G. Maybe at some point, you'll even be able to take a short trip to visit in the middle of their long vacation.

All I'm suggesting is that there is good to be found here--maybe not as good as having your parents there everyday, but just think how wonderful it is that they've got enough good health, money, independence and spirit of adventure to still be enjoying their lives to the fullest. If they supported your journey into independence as you grew up, it's now your turn to return the favor.

    Bookmark   October 29, 2001 at 7:18PM
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twoveils_aol_com

Yes, you are being selfish. Children sometimes have a hard time believing that they are not the center of their parent's universe. Our grand-kids miss us too when we're gone, but our daughter understands that we worked hard for our retirement and want to enjoy it as we choose. That means being able to spend much more time with them than we were able to when we worked, but also being able to take extended trips in our RV. This must be tearing your parents up, having to feel like they have to choose between their winter trip and their grandkids. Let them enjoy themselves without guilt.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2001 at 9:56PM
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gjhnetx_hotmail_com

This sounds like my daughter-in-law could have wrote this but since you said it was your parents going south I guess not.
My parents never got a chance to do anything together as they raised a large family and my father died at 62. My husband is my best friend and we enjoy spending time together doing the things we love to do and if we would stay home for the winter, we wouldn't get a chance to do them.
Why don't you try visiting your parents when they are snowbirding and see the things they are doing and then maybe it will be easier for you to understand why they want to be there. We enjoy our winters down south but that doesn't mean that we don't think about our children and grandchildren all of the time and we miss them very much.

    Bookmark   November 5, 2001 at 3:21PM
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mary_s63_yahoo_com

Terry,
My husband and I took a trip out west this past September. We were gone for a month. We have two grandchildren, one was not quite a month old and the other one was 2 i/2. The baby well she didn't really miss us but the older one Makayla was a different story. We take her camping and fishing alot. We are fortunate to live close to them so we see them several times a week. The first week we were gone, we would call her..her first words to us were..I want to go fishing and camping when big trip over; the second week she was asking is the trip over? I want to go fishing and camping; the third week she was telling us the trip WAS over and to come home, that last week her Momma was telling us she should have let Makayla come with us. Oh yes, Makayla missed us BIG time, but you know what....we missed her just as much. We saw so many places she would have loved seeing with us. Makayla loves to look at the pictures from our trip, all 17 rolls of film of them, telling us where we were at. The next big trip we take...will include taking both of the grandchildren! I don't want to miss anything with these wonderful little girls, they grow up way too fast.

    Bookmark   November 30, 2001 at 12:36AM
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t_myers4_shaw_ca

That is funny, my daughters name is Kayla. She is 2 also and really misses her Gram and Papa. It is really hard to explain to a two year old why she can't see them for so long. I don't think one month is bad at all, my parents are gone for almost six. I have accepted that they go, I just feel they are missing out on alot.

    Bookmark   November 30, 2001 at 11:07AM
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Helen

TELL THEM GRANDMA IS OUT AND TRAVELING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME AND WHEN THEY GET OLDER MAYBE, THEN CAN TO, DON'T READ SO MUCH INTO IT, FOR YOUR YOUNG ONES. IT IS TIME FOR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA TO GO!.YOU ARE LUCKY THEY SEE THEM AT ALL.SOME ARE SO FAR AWAY ONLY PICTURES ARE THEIR GRANCHILDREN. PARENTS DO NOT OWE THEIR CHILDREN ANYTHING.THEY ARE GOD'S HE LENT THEM TO US. LOVE THEM AND CALL THEM AND DON'T WHINE ABOUT THEIR LIVES OR THEY YOUR LIFE. SIMPLE AS THAT.

    Bookmark   December 10, 2001 at 8:10AM
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downsouth_ivillage_com

I can't add much more to the above posts except that my husband and I are looking forward to retiring and traveling. You can't travel much when you both are working, so it's an opportunity when you get in your 50's/60's and you look forward to this leisure time. I agree with the post about sending pictures, share their traveling experiences with your children. Tell them "this is where grandma/grandpa are and they're having a wonderful time, but they miss you so much!"

    Bookmark   December 15, 2001 at 1:36AM
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whazzup

Your children will only be little once, that's true. But your parents may only have this time in their lives to travel. How fortunate you are to have parents that are in good health. Why not try to look at it from that perspective?

    Bookmark   December 15, 2001 at 2:04PM
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Marakone_Webtv_net

Be grateful your parents enjoy enough health and wealth to travel. These are memories they are creating for THEM! These memories will carry one of them through life when death separates them. Nothing is sadder than listening to one parent relate what they both should have done together when they had a chance. My MIL spoke constantly of buying a mobil home and spending at least a year traveling the U.S. " when she retired". Her first retirement chek arrived about 1 hour before her funeral.

    Bookmark   December 30, 2001 at 10:33AM
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Jerri

Even at 6 months of travel, they are still giving you and your daughters half their time. Sounds to me like they're being fair. Use all the above suggestions, and be happy for them!
j

    Bookmark   December 30, 2001 at 4:55PM
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