Please help me cope
My wonderful husband had cancer four years ago and was successfully treated for it. But now, because of the chemo given to him then, he has secondary MDS which will turn into acute leukemia, and we have basically been told there is nothing they can do. He can try various treatments, but they will be difficult to endure and we are told they won't help enough to be worth it. This is a very rare disease and especially at his age (48).
We have been married 20 years and have one daughter(teen).
He is my soulmate, the love of my life. And now I have to sit back and watch him die.
How am I supposed to cope? How am I supposed to be strong for he and our daughter. I can't eat or sleep, thank goodness for sleeping pills.
I can't stand for him to be out of my sight. I want to cling to him every second. I stare and stare at him, because I never want to forget his face or smile.
Right now he is feeling ok physically, but I know that will soon change and it will be downhill. It will be a matter of months, we are told.
How am I supposed to live every day, not knowing when his last day will be? I can't even imagine my life without him, we have been together since I was 17 yrs old.
Thank you for reading this. I am telling you in all honesty: I do not know how I'm going to survive this. I hate waking up every morning, because each day is one day closer to when I will lose my precious husband.
I'm so angry!! And so sad that I feel like my heart is crumbling into small pieces.