hello everyone! just found this site today, glad i did. i lost my only son, casey,age 16 back in july, due to an automobile accident. casey and four of his friends had gone to a county fair. on their way home, driver lost control, hit a tree..., three died. needless to say, the days have been long! i prayed many times that god would take me away from this life .i couldnt imagine how any parent could function normally after such a loss.this child was my life! blonde hair, blue eyed and wore a halo in my eyes! he was 6'4, 250lbs.., that makes me proud..he was such a big strong boy, im only 5'3. anyway, i started asking god a lot of questions and i wanted answers.., big talk huh? but, things started looking a little different to me..., i was reminded that god had loaned me a child of his! of all the mothers god could have chosen.., he chose ME! what an honor! he trusted me enough to care for that child while he was on earth. i then started asking god why i had been so blessed... after watching videos, i realized that casey had hit a tree when he was two, i had forgotten about it! he had knocked our jeep out of gear and on the video my now deceased dad said.."this tree just saved my grandsons life" and it was then i realized that a tree had saved that childs life TWICE! again, days are long,i cry everyday! i will never get over this loss! i realize that i wont ever be mother or a grandmother.., thats tough! i wont see high school graduation..but i do have to thank god for helping me to see things differently. i hope ive helped someone to take another look. it would be so easy to be angry and upset, then people would understand why i cry in the isle at wal mart for no reason. this has broken me, humbled me, forced me to seek peace. i thank god that he was there when i asked for him! just thank god for having been honored with our loved ones presence! imagine if we had not known them...good luck to all, ill continue to pray for peace, every morning over my coffee. one day at a time and we are allowed bad days.., actually i think we have to respectfully take them!