Heartbroken in Florida
My son got his girlfriend pregnant last year. The baby
was born on Monday. His girlfriend and I have talked alot
on the phone, but due to my job working out of state, I
have not been in town. I have visited them when I am in
town and thought everything was great!!. She did not want
me in the delivery room and I respected her wishes.
Once the baby was born, I was basically told to leave the
room so she could breasfeed. I left the room and figuring
she was tired (everyone had been up over 24 hours) and needed alone time, I went home. I knew they would have
their steak dinner that night and see their friends. I
told my son I would see them the next afternoon after I
got off from work.
I called the next day, told them when I would be there,
visited that night, and they went home the next day.
You would think, end of story, happy ending, right>?
I have not been allowed to see the baby. Why? Because
I have been told this:
I was selfish for "wanting" to be in the delivery room
although she could see why I wanted to be there since it
was my first grandchild and she was afraid I was going to
PUSH my way into the room. I did no such thing. I went
to the waiting room and then went outside the building to
get some air. THEY felt I should have stayed in the building and this was so wrong, they can't get over it.
I was also told that I left too soon after the baby was
born, even though I wasn't allowed to be in the room when
she was breastfeeding. They are also mad at me because
I did not call them that night. (their cell phones were
ringing off the hook all day and I did not want to bother
them or disturb their rest).
I was at the hospital 2 hours after the baby was born.
They went to her parents house after they left the hospital. I called on Wednesday to see how they did.
Everything was great. Thursday night I called, everyone
was sleeping, so I said I would call the next day. Friday
I called, no one returns my call. Saturday I called, was
told I could come visit on Sunday (yeah!!).
Sunday, I call, after noon, and all the above crap was
thrown in my face. YOU didn't do this, YOU weren't in
the building, YOU didn't stay long enough, YOU wanted to
be in the room, YOU are selfish, YOU need to back off,
YOU can't see the baby now.
I have cried my eyes out for 48 hours. Am I allowed NO
feelings? Its ok for them to treat me like dirt? My
son and I have been very close, single parent to him for
years. HE is taking her side, of course, it is very clear.
I have tried to email her, call her, ask her what did I
do that was so terrible? You don't want me there, but
you do want me there. It was there day not mine, I know
that. Its wasn't about me but now they are making it
all about ME!!!
She did email me back a whole page of critical comments,
rude accusations and down right lies. She even stated that
I threw a "tantrum" when I wasn't allowed in the delivery
room!! This is so not true!! I did no such thing and
would never embarass my son or her for that matter like
that. I called then emailed her that she was obviously
mad at me, and I was so sorry, but this has to end. We
have a beautiful healthy baby, and that is what everyone
should be thankful for. Not stressing over where I was
during the delivery!! and NOW using a helpless innocent
child to put a wedge between me and everybody!! This
is so wrong, and downright EVIL on so many levels!!
At this point I am so upset, I am thinking about just
moving out of the state. The only reason I live where
I live has been to be close to my son. He has shunned me
and shut me out of the most wonderful expereince in his
life... (and believe me, there have not been many of
those). I have stood by him during his dealings with the
law, bailed him out of jail, helped him out financially,
spent thousands on this baby and supplies, and this is
what I receive in return.
I wasn't expecting alot, belive me. But to be ridiculed,
hated, and now banned from my sweet grandchild is more
than I can bear!!
What the Hell did I do wrong here??