All opinions greatfully accepted
Where to start!
Okay,my Mum is very close to my family,always around us.
She is on her own, has had previous illness, credits her being alive still to the birth of my first child, age 7.(boy).(her reason to live).
Second child age 6.(girl).
First child is often sickly, very intelligent(photographic memory), happy with just knowing he knows what he knows, and goes about his business without seeking praise.Doesn't tend to argue with other kids, pretty much an easy all rounder. Grandma is very attached to him, if sick will automatically go and see him when she arrives. Offers him praise quickly and often. Defends him against sibling constantly.
Second child, very upfront and outspoken.Wants to be a part of all thats happening, very demanding, robust, average intelligence,seeks praise, often offers love but in a sometimes overpowering way.
Argues with other kids, will stand her ground and fight for supremacy often. Finds it hard to know when she'd be better off just "letting it go".
PROBLEM: Grandma is always finding fault with her, often compares one child to the other, accuses me of favouring her. Doesn't display near as much affection to her as him,
rarely praises her for achievements,always picks up on her negative behaviour rarely the positive.Makes no effort with her if she's sick unless I instigate it. Won't have it that it's obvious that she treats them differently.Stands on her dig that Granddaughter doesn't need praise because she got enough self praise. Says that she is always out for num 1.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job as a parent, trying to be fair, compromising but firm & loving, acknowledging each childs negatives and positives etc. Unfortunately Grandma doesn't agree and quite frankly it's turning life to hell.
Mum and I argue near on daily, as it seems to me she is quite unfair towards the granddaughter.
What I need is some unbiased grandparent input here to help put things in perspective. Am I the problem, grandma or the child?
All input greatly appreciated.