A sign? What do you think?

mayaswellJanuary 7, 2006

Yesterday was exactly 2 months ago that Dad died. And a Friday, no less. It was a very difficult day for me...I could hardly stop crying.

Dad passed away at home (as was his wish). The house + 10 acres was sold almost immediately. It's been a whirlwind over Christmas, helping get Mom moved out (HER wish :)

The new owners take possession this weekend. Last night I was compelled to go to the house to say goodbye. Alone. In the dark. I hadn't been able to bear coming back to the house when it was empty (or FULL, for that matter). It was empty, clean -- immaculate (it's only about 5 yrs. old). I stood there in the living room. I could see the imprint of Dad's recliner on the carpet. I could see him in his hospice bed. I relived every moment of his last 44 hrs. as we sat at his bedside, saying goodbye. The house still smelled like "Mom & Dad's". I could hear our voices & his loud breathing. I laid on the floor in the same place where he had layed, looking at the ceiling where Dad flew through to heaven. It was anguish. But good. Know what I mean? This place was gone from us forever in a few short hours. The LAST PLACE ON EARTH DAD WAS ALIVE.

All of a sudden it occurred to me "I know Mom is immaculate. But I'll bet there's something here. SOMETHING! Something that was unintentionally left behind, unnoticed. A sign from Dad! " (I actually thought of this forum & a couple of threads I've read. And you, Lu). I'm open to that! Something that Dad left here for me to find, despite all 17 people who were in and out of the house, helping Mom pack (myself included).

I walked back to their bedroom/bathroom. There are 2 walkin closets -- Dad's was on the right. His closet & clothes has been the knot in my stomach for 2 months.

The closet & shelves were completely clean & vacuumed (of course). But on the bottom rod...there was one, empty, lone white wire hanger. Just slightly swinging. All by itself. It may as well had been on flaming fire judging by my reaction.

I was incredulous. My mouth popped open. I quit crying immediately. I thanked God profusely. We had cleaned out his closet, more than once? The house was completely empty, except for that hanger. I took the hanger home.

I don't know. Any thoughts? I just don't know. I used to believe in coincidinces, but don't anymore these past couple of years.

I'd love any feedback....thank you so much.

Kelley

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socks

Kelley, I think your visit to the home was very important and meaningful to you. It was difficult too, and deeply satisfying. It took courage to go there. Good for you.

Sorry about your Dad. Keep happy memories close at heart, and grieve as you need to.

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 1:33PM
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lulie1013

Kelley, I think it's great that you went back to the house and said your last goodbyes. You wanted to find something left behind and you did. Maybe the swinging hanger is a sign from your dad that he truly is still around and more alive than ever.
I think the house visit will help you heal. I would definitely have to do that when my dad leaves his house that Mom and he lived in for so many years!
A few years after Christin's accident I was compelled to go back to the hospital and relive each step of the way. They whole time I was doing it, my heart was pounding, but for some reason, I wanted to do it. Just another one of those grief things.
Lu

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 2:16PM
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junemn

I believe there are signs. Some things just can't be explained. I'm always looking for signs. This grief thing is just so hard that anything that helps is good.

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 6:28PM
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alisande

Kelley, you described your experience so well. Sounds like a sign to me.

Susan

    Bookmark   January 8, 2006 at 6:33PM
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lmb_ckb

This is my first visit. My son Darren,the youngest of 4 siblings left our world on Dec. 6,2005 while on a motorcycle ride. There were signs before God called him home and signs still being revealed to us. How blessed you were to reconize the little ways Our Heavenly Father allows our loved ones to let us know their spirit lives on forever. My pain is so intense and new.My other children were close to their little brother and look forward to recieving a sign to bring them peace and comfort. Some signs we forget to pay attention to and miss. What is in your heart as a sign from your loved one gone before you is truely meant to be there . Cherish that moment forever. Just a mother wanting that last kiss and hug!!!!

    Bookmark   January 22, 2006 at 1:35AM
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trinitytx

your dad was able to rock you one more time.....

trin

    Bookmark   March 19, 2006 at 10:00PM
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