'You can't put lipstick on a pig'
I'm posting this because I want to know what you think. I really don't know if I did the right or wrong thing. Maybe somebody else's perspective will shed some light on it.
My ex and I have been divorced for 16 years, but I had maintained a good relationship with his mother. (It was not a "bitter" divorce or anything.) She became ill about a year ago and during the course of her illness I had driven to her town, brought her various things, took her occasionally to the doctor, etc. I called her about 2 to 4 times a week, and visited, on the average, one or two times a month. She has an adult daughter who lives very close and my ex, who lives farther, but they did not seem to spend too much time with her, in my estimation. Mom often told me she was very lonely and alone "All day and all night". Daughter lives within easy walking distance.
Whe her illness became terminal and she could no longer take care of herself, I called her doctor and he suggested hospice care, which would have trained nurses come in, bathe and feed Mom, take care of her toilet functions and give her meds. I found out that my ex and his sis had the papers to start this FREE hospice service for the past 4 months but had never filled them out. I managed to convince "Sis" that it would be to HER advantage to get this started. I took leave from work to stay at Mom's to see that it was set up. It was a wonderful hospice service, but Mom passed away shortly after.
I was not invited to sit with the family at the funeral, in spite of the empty chairs available - okay, no problem. But now I am being snubbed. It has been more than a month and no call, no thank you card for the flowers, nothing. I called sis and left a brief message that I hoped she was okay, no answer. I have heard from a relative that sis and my ex are "just furious" with me because I dared to intrude
on mom's privacy and bring strangers into the house when she was dying.(Did I mention she was being left alone all day, not able to get up to eat or go to the bathroom?) It's not that I want to be "Thanked" but I don't deserve this, she was my mom, too, in an emotional way.
Well, sorry this is so long. I think you know what the title of this post means.