Three Year Old Becoming Belligerent-Help!

BinkieSeptember 15, 2001

My precious little angel has just started this obnoxious

pointing in our faces with outstretched arm while raising his voice and wrinkling his brow to both me and his mother. What should the punishment be for this? I'll relay any help to my daughter; her "spankings" are so gentle they wouldn't work. I wouldn't feel comfortable punishing a grandchild; I only see him twice weekly. Thank you, Binkie: Grandmother of the Most Affectionate Angel of All.

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Dutchvrouw_aol_com

I certainly wouldn't SPANK any child -- grand or otherwise. You don't relate what the child is saying but if you listen to his words you might have a clue about what to do. His behavior suggests frustration so I'd think you both need to seriously listen and respond to his needs. If you're positive his needs are being met, simply move his hands and say, "I don't LIKE that." Don't let him do it.

    Bookmark   September 15, 2001 at 10:19PM
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mariend

I agree that telling him you don't like the action--ex: Please I don't like when you yell at me, but if there are other conditions, a swat on the bottom won't hurt. Even Dr. Dobson says there is a time and place for a spanking. At this age they really are testing you --is there another sibling--does he go to pre school---too much TV---is he by himself all day and bored---is there tensions between mother and father or other relatives-- etc
My daughter uses time outs with her strong will child, and taking privleges away. How is the father handling this
Have your daughter talk to the dr and have the child checked out.
Good luck
Marie, yes I am a grandma with a strong will and two strong will grandkids.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2001 at 11:50PM
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bradleylee_hotmail_com

Binkie, I think your little angel is just copying what he has seen someone else do. AT three its the old saying.....monkey see, monkey do. Just let him know its not nice to point at people and yell. then give him a time out. After that, do what I do, Go in your bedroom, bury head in pillow so he can't hear you and have a good laugh!!!.

    Bookmark   October 10, 2001 at 1:59PM
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SheliaNC

I am a firm believer in telling a child in a sharp tone of voice that his behavior is not acceptable and then giving them a time out. If the time out doesn't seem to work then I believe in popping a child rear or hand. Some may not believe in spankings and that is fine but I do if all else fails.

    Bookmark   October 27, 2001 at 8:04PM
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SheliaNC

I forgot to add to my post that I have two grandchildren and yes I do correct both of them when they are staying with me or even if I see them do something that Mom or Dad may not have noticed.

    Bookmark   October 27, 2001 at 8:06PM
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Binkie

thank you all. I pushed his hand down and said, "I don't like that!" and he looked hurt. So I thought that worked well. But now, if you tell him he has said something wrong he'll often say, "WELL, I wouldn't say that if...." whatever. Like arguing with your opinion. He has had a very odd life, that's for sure. My daughter is extremely high strung and over-reactive, nervous. His dad? He has been in jail for six months and is now back but daughter wants him gone soon. He "eats too much and isn't my type" she says.
So I keep praying; he's a very, very sweet baby. binkie

    Bookmark   October 27, 2001 at 8:30PM
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Dutchvrouw_aol_com

Little ones really don't understand polite conversation. They only learn by hearing it and even then it takes quite a while for them to get the hang on it. If your three-year-old starts arguing with you, it's often helpful to forget the literal meaning of the words and deal with the emotion of the words. "I'll bet you'd really like to do that," or "It sounds like you feel bad about that." Respond to what you think he's feeling rather than what he's saying. Don't argue with a toddler. It's pointless and makes you look and feel foolish. It weakens your authority. If his objections continue, you can always say, "This is what we must do now," and then smile and take his hand and help him do what must be done. And, yes, I am a grandmother, too. I have 7, ranging in age from 10 to 1.

    Bookmark   October 30, 2001 at 9:48AM
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Binkie

THANKS for all your messages; he stopped pointing at once.
Now he GLARES with hands on hips and nose in the air plus says, "no, it isn't" to 95% of my statements.
Now; what to do about these??? binkie

    Bookmark   November 4, 2001 at 11:30AM
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kate1

ignore him. When ever he acts rudely just ask him to be nice Please.Because you don't talk to anyone who isn't polite then turn away.Don't hold grudges, the second he changes in any postitive way praise him. Praise every thing he does and says that is not rude. I bet he'll change quickly. Sounds to me he loves the attention that it brings.He wants attention and for some reason he is using rudeness instead of being polite. He just needs more positive attention. So give it to him.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2001 at 4:18AM
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