Im so lost without my husband.

ranchjpJanuary 25, 2013

It has been almost 7 months that my husband passed away. We where married 17 years, and it was the best in my life And still I feel so lost. I'm 56 and my friends and family try so hard to keep busy and try to keep me from being a lone, but its just not the same as your sole mate. They all think I should get out and start dating or go out on a date. Ok all but one my brother in law. Is it to early to go out and what do I do about my brother in law? I know no one can replace him, and I don't want to, but I don't want to be alone and I don't want people to judge me if I go out to early. Any answers?

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summerblue

I'm so sorry for your loss. It has been over 2 years since my husband died. I have good and bad days. I still feel very lost. I don't have any advice on dating. I know it will be a very long time before I even think about dating.
Everyone handles their grief differently. Only you can decide what is right for you. Don't worry what others think, unless they have lost a spouse they will never know just how you feel.

    Bookmark   January 25, 2013 at 9:52PM
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JoAnn_Fla

Right after my DH passed I thought I should date too, but as time goes on your mind goes different ways. Don't rush it, you have plenty of time. You don't need a replacement, a friend would be nice and let things go from there.
I am lost without my husband but there isn't much around to even consider. I can't even find a casual friend. It so hard after you get over 50, or 60.
Get a dog, they will be a world of help to you until the time is right.

    Bookmark   January 27, 2013 at 6:29PM
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fitz99

U cant worry about what others think ... there is no rule set in stone saying something like: 1 month for each year (sounds ridiculous doesn't it ... I think so) I say u will know when u are ready until then just go out with friends and have fun with life. Your husband would not want u suffering any more than u already have. If a date comes out of it that would be great. Just my two cents. Another piece of advice that u may know already but I will say it anyway :) Some peoples advice may just be given to you at the wrong time in your life. So I like to say take it or leave it but it is given with the best of intentions.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2013 at 12:58AM
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mav63_2007

Ladies, I am sad for each of your for your loss. It is six years since my DH of 37 yrs. passed and my personal feeling is that I plan to stay "single", I even hate the word, but I joined two very active Senior Citizen's clubs and (believe it or not) two Red Hat Society groups and now I have lots of girlfriends and have a pretty full life. There is nothing wrong with dating but you have to get out and mingle to meet people. I wish you all the very best of happiness, life is too short to let any opportunity pass you by.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2013 at 10:41AM
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Yorkies2

I lost my first husband to cancer after 34 wonderful years. He was only 52 years old. I thought my life was over. Then my partner at work (law enforcement) lost his wife. Long story short, we ended up together. We had almost 20 very happy years together. He passed away in November.

Remember your vows were "til death do us part". You don't owe explainations to anyone. Make yourself happy.

    Bookmark   April 7, 2013 at 3:02PM
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gloriam

I know I didn't come to the right place, my husband is still alive and I am so miserable because our marriage is not how I expected it to be, we are both 70 and retired, He just had open heart surgery and is back acting like 40 or 50, going to the club drinking with all the pills he takes now. And of cource his beloved motorcycle has replaced me. Yes I am angry and am lost as what to do. We have been married 45 years and this is getting old. I don't have any friends to do anything with. Except my daughters when they are not working. I could just cry!!!!

    Bookmark   May 9, 2013 at 12:28AM
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mav63_2007

I am sorry that you are so unhappy but have you thought of going to the clubs with your husband on his motor cycle. I am also 70 and retired, unfortunately my DH died 7 years ago. I had no friends only my daughters but it isn't their responsibility to entertain me so I joined a Red Hat Ladies group (found on the internet) and 2 Senior Citizen's Clubs and now I have friends and fun. Life is what you make it but you have to get out and do it. Please God you will have you DH for many years yet, enjoy life TOGETHER if you can.
Good luck and God Bless.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2013 at 10:26AM
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JoAnn_Fla

gloriam, I emailed you through the Garden web, did you get it?

    Bookmark   May 10, 2013 at 2:49PM
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