Question on self confidence
I'd like to get some feedback from some of you - especially those who have experienced the loss of a spouse. Did you have - or are you now having - problems with your self confidence? Previously I felt very self confident and self sufficient. I never connected that to my husband or our marriage since I felt that way before I met him. Did I lose my self identity somewhere or what has happened? I feel so inadequate and I've noticed that I have trouble maintaining eye contact when I'm talking with someone. Also, I've never avoided confrontation and now I try to dodge it and, worse yet, I find that if I can't dodge it I have a reaction to run from it. (the fight or flight seems to be missing the fight part). This is so unlike me - and I hate being this way. It's bad enough that I hate my life right now but I've turned into the kind of person I can barely tolerate! I just pray each day - sometimes several times a day - for the courage and strength I need to get through this grief. It's like when my husband died a part of me - most of me - just left. Do any of you know if I'll be back? Is it better to fight to get it back or does this just run a course like so many other aspects of grief? I realize that I won't get my life back but I'd like to have MYSELF back for this new life I'm enduring. Thank you all.