Miss my dad... not doing as well as I thought...
I lost my dad at the end of October, and I thought I was doing pretty well with it, until last night. I was at work, and started out the night in a really great mood. Then a man walked up to my counter wearing a jacket embroidered "Jack" (my dad's name) and he looked so much like my dad. Suddenly I got dizzy and could barely think and had a really hard time remembering how to even do my job. It was hard to even look at the man or speak to him. I tried to call another cashier to take over so I could get away for a minute but no one came and I ended up breaking down to a group of customers.
In some ways the worst part of this was how it brought back the totally unreal feeling of the days surrounding my dad's death. I walked around for about a week feeling like I was in someone else's dream or something. For a brief second I started to question if any of it had even happened. Then I felt the weight of the necklace I wear with his ashes and it all came crashing back. I felt ridiculous having a meltdown at work, to a bunch of strangers like that.
I really, really wish I could see my dad again.