need advice

marleen2006July 23, 2006

I have always had a very close relationship with my grandaughter, who is now 12. After my daughter's divorce, they moved in with me and I helped raise my grandaughter. After living here for six years, they moved two years ago and now live with my daughter's boyfriend. He is good to my grandaughter and she adores him and I'm happy about that. My problem is that now she doesn't seem to want to visit or sleep over as often as she used to. I understand that this isn't her real home anymore and I also understand that she's getting older, but it hurts so bad. I know that she loves me, but I miss the closeness we shared. I don't like to think that I'm petty enough to be jealous of "boyfriend", but I think I am. Has anyone gone through anything like this? I could sure use some words of wisdom.

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foggyj

The hardest part of being a parent or grandparent,is the letting go. Do you really think it's just hanging around with your daughter and the "boyfriend", or is it that she's 12 now and has many other things to take up her time?

I can imagine how it feels. Seems like a rejection?
She will always be close to you, just realize she's "older" now and becoming a young lady. I would suppose it's hard to know what to do to interest a 12 year old nowadays.
Don't have a answer, just a shoulder to cry on.

    Bookmark   July 25, 2006 at 9:23PM
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marleen2006

Thank you for your message. It helped a lot. I do remember how hard letting go was with my own kids and now I'm experiencing it all over again with my grandaughter. She just talked with me yesterday about her feelings and said that all her friends, at 12, stay home alone and she wants to do the same. I worry about this, but it's her mom's decision, not mine. I have to remember not to take this personally...the fact that she doesn't want to stay with me on her school days off....but that she wants to grow up and fit in with her friends. But..and a big BUT...it's so hard.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2006 at 9:46AM
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shirleyinadirondacks

MAN, do I know how you feel!! My DGD didn't live with us but they were close so I saw her often. My feelings were hurt when she started staying home rather than coming over.
M DH asked me "which I would have preferred, visiting my grandmother or hanging out with my friends?" I had to agree with him that grammas just don't cut it.

shirley

    Bookmark   September 3, 2006 at 8:41AM
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