Help, GrandParents! Am I wrong as a Parent?
Here is the deal. My wife and I are trying to raise our 6 month daughter to the best and brightest she can, but both of our respective parents seem to think were crazy; mine more than hers. We have told them that we want her to eat right, read, not watch most t.v. (only select education programs), and really hope to be able to put her in private school. My mother and grandmother literally laughed when I told them about private school. They acted like I was some weird alien or something. What is so wrong with us? Why are we against the norm when we don't want her to drool in front of the t.v. while watching American Idol and while drinking Coke and eating Doritos? Instead, we want her to spend that massive amount of time that t.v. normally consumes having her read or developing a hobby or studying. Both my wife and I have had crappy upbringings. Not abusive or neglectful, but we were allowed to do whatever we wanted and were given poor eating habits and the such. We also had non-existent dads. Because of this we have suffered. Mostly through making poor choices; we don't want that for her. I understand that were not perfect and are not 100% right in this matter, but we want a different life for her than we had. Maybe we are going too hard in some areas, but it gets frustrating when the grandparents won't help us or respect us; they resist. We say we want her to be as intelligent as she can be with the best education and shoot for the stars; yet they make fun of us. They are basically saying no, what's wrong with a good job down at the mill (hypothetically speaking). Nothing, but why not aim for something higher if you can? My mom tells us were crazy; her mom told us flat out in a friendly manner one time, that our daughter will decide what food she likes and doesn't like. This happend when we were talking to her about not feeding her junk. It made us so mad! Her mom eats extremely fat filled foods and potato chips. We don't wont her letting our child eat like that when she is with her; she thinks were crazy and tells us she won't feed her junk, but the way she says it we know she is lying. This ways on us a lot. We are very stressed about it. So much so that we limit their time with her and supervise a lot(even then we caught my mom trying to feed her real food and her mom trying to give her icing!) This creates another rift because they feel we don't trust them (which we don't). They both live less than 2 miles away, so we generally see them a lot. It would be one thing if we see them twice a year, but their in her life weekly (which is good), so not enforcing our rules for our daughter will undermine us. You can tell from my rambling how frustrating it is. What should we do? We only want what is best. What is so wrong with being abnormal, in a good way?
Also, one other quick question: From a grandparents view, is it o.k. for us to limit our time with the our parents (her grandparents). We both go to school, are trying to find jobs, sell our house and develop some type of consistent schedule; yet almost daily one of the grandparents want to do something. Go here, go there, go out to eat, bring the grandchild over to go swimming, etc... Her mom wanted to take our then, 4 month old child, down on the beach in the 100 degree Florida heat because it would be fun. Another check mark for her I guess; take child to beach. It messes us up because we don't get stuff done that we need too because were too busy running around doing things. Is it o.k. to say no. They make you feel like you really hurt them when you do.