dreading vacation

diggerb2June 26, 2008

Well it summertime and that means we'll be making the long trip to visit the in-laws/grandparents.

I'm really not ready to deal with it-- and the week of vacation isn't until mid August and they live 1000 miles away.

my wife isn't thrilled either and they are her parents. they weren't very good parents. they aren't very good grand parents.

Our children are autistic, very high functioning and a delight to be with (IMHO). They are most likely not going to understand how much 'older' their grandparents have gotten this past year. Not that they are more frail, but that there drinking has increased and forms of dementia

are cropping up.(not alzheimers, just alchohol abuse)

We visit because the kids expect to-- its part of their routine. They understand about old people getting older and death. They understand about people with differing abilities--physical and mental. They don't understand meanness and dementia.

any suggestions or coping stratgies?

diggerb

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momj47

Why not shorten the trip to the grandparents to just a day or two and start some new traditions with the kids. You'll have to eventually anyway, the grandparents won't live forever. Or maybe your wife can make a separate trip some other time during the year to her parents, and the family vacation can be a special trip with just the family. If you only take a week of vacation a year (I certainly hope this isn't your only vacation), don't waste the week, it's too valuable a time, especially for the kids.

Good luck.

    Bookmark   June 27, 2008 at 10:21PM
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diggerb2

No this isn't our only vacation of the year.
the wife wouldn't really want to visit by herself.
these are my kids only grandparents.
the kids would not understand not visiting.
we already do a 2 stage vacation-- stop someplace new and exciting for 2 or 3 days on the way there for family "fun"
and drive home as a 2 day trip ( we are more rested that way), but could do it in one day if we wanted too. which leaves us with 3 or 4 days to visit (one of which is spent visiting nearby family members)
so we are down to 2 or 3 days anyhow.
is it rude to say we are waiting for them to die?

digger

    Bookmark   June 28, 2008 at 10:56AM
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artemiss

If your children want to see their GPs so badly and could not understand not visiting them, there must be something important in that relationship. I wouldn't get in the way of that if I were you.

momj47 is correct in pointing out that since the GPs are getting older, soon this visit will not be possible, and you won't have to make the trip anymore. Two or three days out of your life now per year isn't much of a sacrifice, if it makes your children happy. Why would you, as a mature adult, need a coping strategy for such a brief visit?

That said, if the GPs become abusive in any way toward the kids, I would cut the trip short and leave then and there.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2008 at 2:15PM
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