Other Grandmother always gives very expensive gifts

bmortimerJune 14, 2012

My granddaughter (11) always gets very expensive gifts on her birthday and at Christmas from my daughter in laws family. (grandmother, aunties, uncles and cousins). My granddaughter just sneers at what I give her and tosses it aside as worthless! I am now 73, retired, live on a fixed income so don't have a whole lot of money to spend on gifts. "Its the thought that counts" cuts no ice with my granddaughter. If it didn't cost a lot its not worth having!

I am invited to her 12th birthday party (a big family get together) in a few weeks and am not looking forward to her once again smirking at me as she barely glances at what I give her, dismisses it as not worth her attention and then goes into raptures over what her other Grandmother etc have given her. They are a very nice family and they absolutely do not give expensive presents in the spirit of competition, its just what they do to express their love. (Plus they are all working and have more money than me)

All my other children and grandchildren live thousands of miles away so its just my son and I from our family who are at these get togethers. I think my son is sometimes a bit embarrassed at his daughters behavior and admits she is a spoiled brat but as his wife does not see things the same way my granddaughter is unlikely to change.

Can anyone suggest how to deal with the situation? Not give gifts, stay away from the parties , grin and bear it?

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colleenoz

I'd be tempted to make a donation to a charity in her name and if she complains, tell her, "Well I thought it would be nice for a change if at least one person appreciated the gift."

    Bookmark   June 15, 2012 at 12:34AM
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emma

Tell her since she never likes the gifts you buy her, you decided not to buy anything. Or just be sick on that day.

    Bookmark   June 16, 2012 at 9:52PM
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cecily

Please don't take this personally! Teens tend to be materialistic and image conscious. There's no way a grandma would know what trendy accessory/clothing item/ electronic gadget a teenaged girl would want. Just give a gift card so she can select something that appeals to her. Here the shopping mall has gift cards but Target or Wal-Mart would be okay too.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2012 at 3:48PM
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daisyinga

I would do one of two things. I might call her mother and ask if there is anything special your granddaughter would particularly love that is in your budget. My brother used to give me money to buy my daughter's gift from him, and I always picked something special I knew she'd love, that he could give her.

Or I'd give my gift separately from the big birthday shindig. Maybe she'd be more appreciative and expressive if you gave your gift at a different time and place? You could give her a card at her birthday telling her that your gift is a day or afternoon together at a later time and you'll have something planned to do together. You can go to the zoo or museum, or bake a cake together, or go shopping together for fabric and make her a blanket or tote if you sew. My daughter's boyfriend's mom makes her the cutest blankets and things out of fabric my daughter loves.

I'm so sorry you have this situation. My mom doesn't have nearly as much money to spend on my kids as my in-laws, but there are lots of things my kids like to do with my mom. Some of the things my kids like to do with their MawMaw: she bakes them their own cakes and they love it, takes them out to breakfast at the doughnut shop, my daughter likes to shop at flea markets and antique shops with my mom, my son likes movie nights with my mom at her house.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

    Bookmark   June 28, 2012 at 12:46PM
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emma

I would never sneer at another's gift, I would be polite. But if I had a lot of money I would buy the child what they want, an Ipod or a Game Boy. It's not right to expect me to buy less expensive stuff because someone else is on a tight budget. My Mom always thought we bought our children to much. I told her, "you bought us what you could afford which wasn't much and we were happy. We are spending more on ours because we have the money." It's not spoiling them it is buying things we can afford easily.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2012 at 4:34PM
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