Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

nikoclawJune 18, 2002

My grandaughter, Amy, son-in-law, and daughter live with my wife and I. I am Amy's grandfather. Amy is 14-months old and idolizes her grandpa (Papa) more than anyone else, except her mom. When I come home from work, Amy is waiting for Papa to spend time with her. I do spend a lot of time playing with her, reading to her and showing her new things around the yard and house.

My problem is this...I feel very bad for Amy's Dad as Amy perfers to be with me over her Dad. It's very difficult for me to see Amy cry if her Dad tries to hold her when I am around. She wants to come to me. If I'm not around Amy has no problem playing with Dad. Her Dad does spend quality time with her, but there seems to be a "bonding magic" between her and I that escapes her Dad. What, if anything, should I do. Should I somehow back-off (out of site, out of mind)when Dad is around? Is this strong bond between Amy and I good for Amy? By the way Amy also seems to reject her Grandma when I am present. Thanks in advance for your opinions.


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We have almost the same situation. None of our five grands act as if I exist. Papa is King!! some of them don't even want to go home when the parents come for them.

As they are growing older, they are changing. Papa is less important to them.

They best way to handle it I think, is with humor. Make a joke about how you always knew how to handle the females and that it takes a while before they wise up. Let her father know that this is not uncommon behavior and it will pass, but while it is going on, you will make the best of it.

As she learns to talk more, encouage her to talk to her father, make sure to include him in any conversation you might have with her while he is in the room. Talk about her daddy, Get her to talk about him to you. My bet is that she will soon switch her attentions to him, if she doesn't, then it will be time to tell her things like you're too busy, tired, or whatever when her father is around.

She will be getting to the age when she might try to manipulate you. Watch out for it.

Good luck

    Bookmark   June 18, 2002 at 12:45PM
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Is Amy's dad feeling left out? You have a special thing going there......enjoy every minute.....doesn't always happen and may be very different with another grand child.
As long as her daddy doesn't feel slighted.....enjoy the little darling's attentions. And when she says..Papa will get me one of them....remember!!
Enjoy....this attitude of little girls is way too short livd!
Linda C

    Bookmark   June 18, 2002 at 7:54PM
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Is the living arrangement temporary or permanent? If it's only temporary, things will work out when the young family is living in their own house. Then Daddy will come first, as it should be. That would be the best thing for them, don't you think?

    Bookmark   June 18, 2002 at 9:22PM
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We had a similar situation in our house. My daughter and granddaughter lived in our house until she was 2 years old. My husband and granddaughter were very close I think partly because when he was home he was able to spend the most uninterrupted time with her. Her father and mother married when she was two and moved 5 1/2 hours away. I think it was probably harder on my husband than on her. We still see her and also now there is a grandson. If they haven't been here after about 4 weeks we usually have to go visit. But grandpa realizes that at the age of 6 she will be less excited about spending time with him. I think the relationship they had when she was young was good for both.

    Bookmark   August 15, 2002 at 12:07PM
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