Hard time living with mom.
I know this is not exactly a forum for this topic, but it seemed like the best fit. I hoping to get a little wisdom here.
I'm living with my mom and struggling to get along with her. We've never had a particularly close relationship and I don't really get along with people in general- I hate to admit that but it's true. I first moved in to help her look after my dad- quit my job and sold my house. Ever since then things just seem to keep getting worse.
There are so many things I want to say about mom and I just don't know where to begin. I guess I will begin with the issue at hand. I want to use her kitchen to cook breakfast and dinner for my daughter and myself but I was really hesitating because I knew if I did I would have to make meals for my mother as well. Please understand that I'm perfectly fine with sharing food, don't mind the added cost and effort at all. I just knew that once I started doing that, then she would start cooking food for us. Before this we were eating mostly out and not eating very healthy foods.
I should explain that my mom keeps food- meat- in the freezer for months and sometimes over a year before she cooks it. She will not throw it away since that would be a sin, so she cooks it and tries to serve it to us. It usually does not smell very good. She will also cook spagetti sauce or stew in the morning and leave it out all day and then serve it for dinner. She will not sanitize her dishes in the dishwasher and uses the same sponge over and over for who knows how long. The last time I ate her dinner I got very ill and threw up all the next day. Nobody else got sick but I really did. I don't know if it's because of cancer treatment I had that maybe make me more sensitive.
I've tried talking to her about this and her response is always to make me feel like I have some kind of phobic problem. She thinks that it is good for me to expose my system to various germs and such. The problem is when I get sick, and I'm often sick, I can't work and I am really trying to hold on to my current job.
It seems like everyday I go through the same routine. She makes something and I decline it for both me and my daughter and then she sighs and make me feel so bad.
I kind of blew up this morning and yelled at her and told her again what I think about how she cooks but not in a nice way. I didn't curse but I did raise my voice. She made something and I said no thanks so she got all pathetic as usual which make me feel like such a witch. So like a witch I got mad and I made her cry and she said that she was really sorry and that she will never cook us anything ever ever ever again. I don't think I can use her kitchen now. I don't know how I'm going to feed my daughter now- guess it's back to fast food. Am I being unreasonable? How can I fix this? This really is just the tip of the iceberg.