Granddaughter doesn't like me

Andi207April 1, 2013

I have a darling 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter who is sweet and loving with practically everyone but me. I watch her 2 days a week when it's just she and me and she seems ok then, but when we're around the rest of the family she doesn't want anything to do with me and rejects me loud and clear if I try to play with her. She picked up a book when we were at a party yesterday and was going to give it to me to read to her and then looked at me and seemed to remember that she didn't like me and gave it to my sister to read, and she hardly knows my sister. I am so very hurt by this and don't know how to deal with it, and it's embarrassing too because it's also clear to the rest of the family she feels this way. I have two grandsons, 7 and 10 now, who I'm very close to, so I just don't get this. Has anyone had experience with this? Any advice? Will she grow out of it and I should just wait? Just has me so upset.

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daisyinga

If she is two and a half years old and enjoys you when it's just the two of you, then I wouldn't worry about it right now. You say she is sweet and loving with everyone but you. Do you mean that as long as it's just the two of you, she's sweet and loving to you but not when others are there? Or do you mean that she treats you dramatically different all the time?

If this was happening to me, I'd first try to picture things from her point of view and try to figure out if I was doing something she doesn't like. Sometimes it can be odd things with little ones.

But who they like best when they are little and who they like best as they get older are sometimes not the same. Out of all the family, my husband was my daughter's least favorite when she was little. Clearly. But now she is a college student and her dad is clearly her favorite. If she doesn't gel with you now, she may enjoy your company when she's older.

Also sometimes the things that look like drawbacks when they are little turn out to be strengths. Do you think your little granddaughter is a people person and likes to be around other people because she likes "new" people, or people that aren't quite as familiar? If so, she may turn out to be a friendly, outgoing adult who reaches out to others easily. I have often seen toddlers who enjoyed engaging with someone "new".

I do kind of understand where you're coming from. My son would always let me play with him when he was a toddler and preschooler. He would tell me all about how his blocks were set up and whatever plot line he had going on in his fantasy play world. My daughter always looked at me like "leave me alone" when I tried to play with her. She'd play with my mom, but not with me. But moms have a special role in their daughters' lives, and even if my toddler daughter wouldn't play Barbies or color with me, my grown daughter and I have special things we do together.

Grandmas have a special place in their granddaughters' lives, too. If you keep trying, over the years you will find special things you like to do together. Don't give up. When my daughter was a preschooler one of the few things she liked to do with me was get ice cream. She wouldn't talk much, so we'd just sit there in silence on the curb and lick our ice creams. It hurt, because if I had been there with just my son we would have been chattering away the whole time. But my daughter still remembers us getting ice cream just the two of us every Friday after preschool as a special time. So try to relax and not worry. Just enjoy your granddaughter on her terms. It will work out fine.

    Bookmark   April 1, 2013 at 5:09PM
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Andi207

Thanks so much for this, great insight and very comforting. Hopefully we can get closer as she gets older. I certainly won't give up!

    Bookmark   April 1, 2013 at 5:33PM
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marie_ndcal

I went thru this and I make it a point to NOT let it upset me with my GGD. For about 2 years she did not have much to do with me, just her grandma. Both my dd and GD tried different things, then when she turned about 3 1/2 she wanted me to read to her? color with her? etc Didn't do anything different, Her little sister has a different personalility--so we will see.
The main thing, is not to let yourself get upset. Just go on with your regular schedule and activities.

    Bookmark   April 4, 2013 at 9:16PM
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