90th Birthday, but can't go

teaka123March 10, 2011

My godmother is having her 90th birthday party soon. My mom, 87 and I thought we would try to attend so two weeks ago I sent her son an email saying "we're making plans to attend". I made arrangements to be off work. However, my dear mama has decided she really can't afford to go. It would be costly as the cheapest flights I can find are around $700 dollars each and then we would have lodging for three nights, food and car rental. Truthfully, I can't comfortably afford it either. I need to let them know that we haven't been able to make the arrangements and feel I need to let them know asap as the party is on the 25th. It is a great deal of money to only spend 2 days there (2 additional days would be flight time) when one can't really afford it. Any suggestions on what I can say in an email. I will of course follow-up with a written thank you followed by birthday wishes. Thank you.

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suzieque

Why wouldn't you just be honest? Tell them that you accepted the invitation before looking into the cost, and are so very sorry, but you'll have to decline. Be extremely sorry for reneging and send a lovely card to your Godmother.

Of course you know that you should've looked into the details before accepting, right? You don't need to go into extreme details of justification, but it's important to get the info to them right away. I'm sure they're planning on the 2 of you and figuring food, etc. based on number of acceptances. If you wait any longer you'll have to be doubly apologetic - for changing your mind and for waiting to tell them.

Just tell them. And then send the note to the party givers and a lovely card, and perhaps gift, for the birthday girl.

    Bookmark   March 12, 2011 at 2:02PM
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goldy

Tell them the truth.she's 90 she wont remember if you were there or not,if some of us would just stop and think before we make snap dis ions we would avoid such heart achs.Send her some roses fruit or fancy coffee.

    Bookmark   January 20, 2012 at 12:42PM
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gardenandcats

Just tell them that you had not realized the cost and neither of you can afford it. just truth and I'm sure they will understand..Call her on her B-day and speak with her as well as sending a card ...
Goldy My nans 99 and sharp as a tack!!!

    Bookmark   January 20, 2012 at 11:29PM
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colleenoz

Hey guys, original post was almost a year ago. Godmother's birthday has been and gone a long time.

    Bookmark   January 23, 2012 at 11:14AM
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