My grandbaby doesnt want to come to me any more

NanisueFebruary 7, 2014

He Is 13 months. I have always taken care of him once a week mostly. Since last two weeks I didn't take care of him. I went to his house two days ago and that's when it happened. He did not want to come to me. And when he was in mommy's lap I asked him to come to me and he yelled at me. He has another set of grandparents he lives with (dad's side) and he goes to them with no problem. He even goes to his nanny who comes everyday except me. He was loving on him mommy and I was trying to love on him and he yelled at me again. My daughter was hurt and I was heart broken. I am trying to find reasons so I can apply but I am not sure what exactly the reason is. Any input is very appreciated as I am so hurt. I know he is just a baby and I shouldn't take it personally but it still hurts. What could be the reason? What can I do?

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emma

It's because he is a baby, ignore it. If you make a big deal out of it...it may get worse. Babies go through this kind of stuff. Take a treat, maybe a bag of candy he likes next time you go over. Set it on your lap, eat a piece when he looks at you offer him one, but don't make any advances towards him. Or take a small toy and just leave it in your lap. If he knows you have a treat when you come, things may chance.

    Bookmark   February 8, 2014 at 5:08PM
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Nanisue

Thank you Emma. Good idea of taking something that he likes.

    Bookmark   February 8, 2014 at 11:19PM
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socks

Good ideas from Emma. Or take some kind of toy and play with it yourself. Tempt him to you. Don't feel bad. Kids--it's one thing after another!

    Bookmark   February 9, 2014 at 7:05PM
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gran5

Oh, my I can feel your hurt, but I think he is just afraid Mommy will leave if you take him or he goes to you. Best just to relax, don't push it for sure, just get one of his books or toys and start looking or playing with it, not looking him in the eye. This might take awhile at that age they get attached.
I used to care for my gd one day a week, oh, what fun that was...she is nine now and I have no babies anymore, I miss them, she was the youngest of five. The ones that lived farther away I sent mail pretty often.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2014 at 3:08PM
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prairiemoon2 z6 MA

I do feel for you. As parents and grandparents I think we have all felt that at one time or another. If there is a way you could spend more time with your grand baby, I think that would be very beneficial. Not necessarily one on one, just in his environment to come to expect to see you. And as everyone else has already pointed out, letting the child 'discover' on his own how interesting you are, with toys and books that you read to his siblings or stuffed animals if he is not interested and let him feel a little left out and motivated to get involved and then very welcome when he expresses interest. Special 'treats' that only you bring him would help, but I would quickly drop that as a routine and only do it randomly after that, so he doesn't come to expect it.

He just needs a little help and understanding. It could be that he was just overtired and cranky that day and had too much stimulation already by the time you visited.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2014 at 4:01PM
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emma

I miss my toddlers, when I remember my sons that is the age I miss. They were so much fun then and they did not go through the terrible twos like most did.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2014 at 7:34PM
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CJH Design

What happened was he was happily loving on his mother and you were bothering him (from his point of view). You wanted to take him to leave her lap and he didn't want to leave, so you you went over to 'love on him' and he didn't want to be bothered.

He's 13 months old, he did NOT 'yell' at you. Don't take it personally. He's a baby and he loves his mommy most in the world and was having his time with her.

For your daughter to be hurt about this and you to be 'heartbroken' is a huge over reaction. Let it go. Next time he'll be fine with you.

I strongly suggest you get some child development education, you can take a class which is fun or even learn on the internet.

There is no reason 'why' he did this except he wanted mommy-time at that moment not grandma time. You haven't been rejected for life. And don't compare your relationship with the other grandparents. Had they walked in at that moment and asked him to leave his mommy's lap and followed up with 'loving on him', they probably would have been gotten the same reaction.

He's 13 months old. This is what they do at that age.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2014 at 6:25PM
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grannymojo

I had my only grandchild every weekend until she started school and became involved in activities. I never hear from my daughter or grandchild. I asked why she doesn't come to my house any more (she's 8) and she replied, "She doesn't like the long drive" (30 minutes away) However, she can drive to her aunt's home (father's side of family) which is 1 hour away. I find this very strange, as we have always had a good relationship. I live alone and am the caregiver for my mother, so it is very difficult to get away, not knowing when they are home (both work in town). The father's mother has always been there raising the child from birth. They come and go daily for meals and or whatever else they need. We have always exchanged gifts at Christmas and I treat them both the same. This year, I didn't even get a thank you nor the usual gift card that has been given in the past. This might sound petty but I am telling you this to show how distant they have become. I'm not in their business and on the rear occasion when I do talk to my daughter about activities of my grandchild, the activity is on that day or has past. It appears the only communication is on Facebook and this is only when she wants something. It's like I'm on F/B so I must be OK. She's not involved with any family activities on our side of the family. It's just beyond me. I am considering just cutting her out of my life because it is so hurtful....am I wrong to do this.

    Bookmark   January 18, 2015 at 7:20AM
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