Grandchild that is living with us and failing at school

hoakie2601February 4, 2008

I will give you a little insite about what is going on here! We have custody of 2 of my husbands grandchildren. They have been with us for just over 2 months now, we where given guardianship of them. We are now the parents of these 2 children.

To give you a little back ground. They have been in many different places, last living with their other grandfather in another state. Which the department of children and family services removed and placed with us.

The 2 children are 10 and 11. The 11 year old is having a hard time in school. And we do not know what to do about it. I am at the end of my rope with his grades. Last report card he was not bring home his homework and telling me it was being done at school. We had a meeting with his teacher and she told him that he needed to work on class work during school hours and homework once he got home.

I have spend the last week and a half each night with him to insure that his homework is completed. Today I get his weekly progress report and he has not turned in any of his class assignments from last week, I assume all homework is being done. He had a total of 3 assigments last week and he has a 0 on each of them.

When we ask him what happened he tells us that they are turned in now and his grade will be better. But our point to him is that they are not being turned in on time, and that once he gets into middle school his teacher will not post unnamed work on the board or will not take last assigments. He will not give us a real reason as to why they where not turned in. All he will tell us is that they are turned in now.

We feel that he should get some sort of punishment for this, but we do not know what that might be. He knows that I am not happy about this, he has been going around the house today. Keeping a low key. I feel that he needs to be held accountable for his grades in some way.

This is causing alot of conflict in our house. He does not want to repeat the 5th grade because he wil be in the same grade as his little sister, if this happens. I am ready to pull him from public school and put him into a private school that will offer more. At the same time I hate to move him again so soon. He is just getting to know a few people in his class. This is a child that has been moved around alot in his short life. I believe moving him will cause more damage.

What do I do. We already go to weekly counseling to help them out, but nothing seems to be working. I am at wits end with this. I am the one that has to take care of all of this, his grandfather works evening and they are both home with me. My husband is actually only there step grandfather his last marriage that ended in the passing of his wife. So until they came to live with us, I had only met these kids 2 other times. So I am the bad person in there eyes, because I am the one that spends so much time with them and has to handle all issues with them.

Thanks for reading and helping me...

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Hoakie, I'm surprised you haven't gotten a reply here. I really don't have much to offer except that you must be an angel to help these two children whom you have barely known. I'm sorry it is such a struggle.

The kids have been through a lot, and somehow I feel that punishment will just make the 11-year-old angry and resentful. What do the counselor and his teacher say?

Why isn't the possibility of being held back enough to spur him to better grades? Can he read well enough, is he strong enough in math? Does he need tutoring? Perhaps having a high schooler help him with homework after school would take some of the strain between you two. I assume he changed schools, and I wonder if this school is farther ahead than his old one, leaving a gap of learning.

I'm also thinking that if he moves up a grade, it would be wise to have him in English and math summer school program to help prepare him for next year.

I do get the feeling that your husband has kind of left this all up to you--quite a load! Does he spend some time with the boys on weekends or whenever he's free? That would be important, and maybe he can discuss school with the older boy.

I realize I'm really no help, but I do sympathize and know how very difficult this is for you. I encourage you to seek help from your counselor, the teachers and even the principal of the school. The boys are lucky to have you.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2008 at 11:16PM
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