seeking custody of grandson

junemJanuary 28, 2002

My grandson will be 12 in April. This mother (my daughter) was killed in a car accident in 1995. In 1996 we got court ordered visitation. We have tried to be flexible over the years about visitation (it has never been followed). Recently (the past year) my grandson has been asking to come and live with us. He is unhappy and sometimes feels unsafe.He is being verbally/emotional abused (how do you prove something like this). He called me at work on his way home from school stated that he was told that he can no longer visit and he asked if he could go before a judge and state that he wants to live with us. Is this possible and how do I go about doing it? I'm worried about him.

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JTHouston

I would make a report of this to social services, documenting the fact that he told you of the abuse. Then if they find his environment unsuitable, you might have a shot at getting custody.

If you have a court ordered visitation then simply return to the court and request the visitation order be enforced.

Good luck to you.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2002 at 12:44PM
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Paula_W

My only advice is be sure your grandson isn't just mad at his Dad for something and trying to get back at him. You see that so often in a divorce when a child plays one parent against the other to get what he wants. Your grandson could be doing the same thing. Just be sure there aren't regular Preteen-Parent problems at home, and not what he may call abuse.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2002 at 2:18PM
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PatSteingass

I have the same situation with my grandaughter. My daughter died in 1995..it is so heartbreaking!! My grandaughter's step-mother has ben given authority by her father to make all decisions regarding her, Such as when and when not she can see us. We have no grandparent's visitation rights at least legally. Her father basically does not want to deal with us at all and her step-mother and father treat strangers better that they treat us. My daughter had Cystic Fibrosis from birth and basically she died from the complications of this disease. My grandaughter's father treated her mother very badly with no compassion at all. My husband went with our daughter to all OB visits and also with her to all of her CF doctor appointments. She left him three times but always went back. She even caught him in an affair. My daughter worked up until her death and should not have, she knew she would die eventually from this disease but he never thought this would happen. Her daughter was her whole life...before she died she asked me who would take care of her daughter of course I said I would and now I can't. Now my grandaughter's father thinks of her as a burden and now has a son from his third marriage, plus a son who is 19 from his first marriage. He has no relationship with his adult son but we do! He has problems in this marriage he and his wife fight a lot..it is just a mess! My grandaughter is in the midlle, and my heart breaks as your does!! Pat

    Bookmark   March 2, 2002 at 10:35PM
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