My husband is addicted to spending
I am a 61-year-old lady who is fed up with my husband of 5 years who insists that I continue to work so he can spend, spend, spend! Ebay is his biggest addiction (he spends about $600/month on JUNK). I have talked to him about this until I'm blue in the face, but nothing has any effect. I'm tired of working (have been working for 40 years), my health is suffering (I've developed angina and must carry nitro with me) but when I point this out to him he claims I'm "overreacting" or "oversensitive" (my angina was diagnosed by a doctor and the cause identified as stress). He says that it's only "fair" for me to keep working as long as he's working. He makes a very good salary (though he truly hates his job) and if he would cut back on his spending we could easily live comfortably without me having to work. At the moment I only do short-term temporary work (my way of slowly trying to get completely out of the job market), but his constant nagging about me getting a job is becoming a serious problem in our marriage. I just can't seem to make him understand my point of view.
So far my only defense has been passive-aggression (which I hate). I just don't look very hard for work anymore and have turned down jobs and lied to him about it. Of course it really IS difficult for a woman of my age to find employment. Still, the nagging is really getting to me.
Anyone out there have a similar problem or have any suggestions for me? He won't even consider counseling (either for himself or for us as a couple).