Attn: ellendi & all. My daughter/Grammy issue from Patty's thread
ellendi, shortly after our daughter entered sixth grade, she started to hang out with a group of young ladies all the time. They were all good friends before, going to each others birthday parties, but now she was "one of them" even though she didn't live in their neighborhood. Though I'd known all of them from kindergarten, being a classroom "Mom", and knew many of their parents, who were perfectly charming, one couple of which I went to high school with, I have no clue if they were what influenced her or if it was just that our daughter yearned for more independence.
Her older (by2years 2.5months) brother, her Dad and I were always very close. We had family game nights at home, and went to dinner and movies often. Our pastor once told us he'd never seen a family of four share such a small space on a pew as the four of us did.
She often confides in me, even through her teens, when most young girls want nothing to do with their Mom's. Still, there was always that rebellious side to her that made her want to do what she wanted, when she wanted, without care to whether I worried about her or not. Her brother even sent her a letter while he was in basic training telling her how much easier her life would be, if she just took the time to let us know where she was.
Though we had rules and curfews, we also believed in giving our children freedom as long as they let us know if they were running late or wanted to stretch their curfew because of something special going on. Rarely did we say no. Instead of making a simple phone call, our daughter felt that once she was sixteen and had her own car she didn't have to let us know where she was or who she was with.
She took up smoking at the age of 14 because she knew how much I was against it after watching my Dad's brother wither away with lung cancer and die when I was only 14.
She joined the Air Force (telling us she wanted to get away from our rules) leaving for basic training December 2nd of the year she graduated high school, just three weeks before her brother came home on leave from "the sandbox". Because of her security clearance (she was training to be an Airborne Linguist) she was able to call often. She told us during those short calls how much she missed us and that she realized our rules were minimal compared to what she was now experiencing. She still loved the AF and was happy she joined.
After basic was over she often called to tell me how lucky she was to have grown up with us as she'd met so many that hadn't had the love she experienced. She even had me talk to some of those friends that she felt needed a good parent figure to talk to. Her words at the time...."one that didn't judge, but truly cared about others", to set them straight on their crazy troublesome lives. And I did. They all thanked me at the end of our conversations.
She wanted badly to go overseas, since she always missed deployments because of training. She applied and was accepted to go to S. Korea. She met her now husband there. He was there only a little over a month after they met, going back to his station in Hawaii. They kept in touch via Skype and that's how we met once she was back in the states stationed about four hours from us before we met him in person. Which I mentioned in Patty's thread.