Throwing you own 50th -- have you dont it?

jennNovember 27, 2005

I recently attended the 50th birthday party of an old friend. She threw it for herself and it was a lot of fun. I'm not one to throw myself a party but I thought for my 50th, why not? It's something to celebrate!

Have you done it? I'd specify "no gifts" etc, just make it fun for all and worth coming to, LOL.

Jen

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chase_gw

I haven't, but my sister threw her own 50th bash and it was so much fun. 50 is worth celebrating, it's a major milestone. Now she is gone.....go for it while you can!!!!

Cathy invited all her family, good friends and neighbours and had the whole thing catered. She also had the cateres serve and do all the clean up which made it a treat not a chore for her. She had it on a Saturday afternoon from 2PM until 6PM but many stayed on all evening. Kids were welcome in the afternoon, but Cathy loves having all the kids around.

Her approach was " I'm 50 let's party!!!_Go for it!

PS: She did specify no gifts but it didn't work!

    Bookmark   November 28, 2005 at 4:03PM
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demifloyd

I just celebrated my 50th--went to Santa Fe and spent the day on the side of a mountain, contemplating my life.

I've never been to a party anyone threw for themselves, but I've considered it. If you like to party, I'd go for it! If I had any idea when I was going to check out, I would throw a "bon voyage" party beforehand and skip the funeral.

    Bookmark   December 3, 2005 at 12:16AM
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jenn

Thanks for your comments. I'm still debating whether or not to do it at all -- I'm afraid nobody would come (already busy, too far, etc.) That's the story of my life these days.... :-(

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 1:34PM
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lindac

Demi....I celebrated my 50th in Santa Fe also.....went to dinner at Pink Adobe and the Opera ( think it was Abduction From the Seraglio) and afterward to Casa Sena....where the opera singers sang Happy Birthday....and I was presented with a gooey chocolatey hunk of cake.
I was such a young whipper-snapper them!! LOL!
Linda C

    Bookmark   February 20, 2006 at 8:26PM
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socks

I think it is a great idea. She told everyone "no birthday gifts to me," but if they wanted to do something they could donate to a charity dear to her heart, a program which purchases and sends children's vitamins to 3rd world countries. She collected quite a bit, and I think the guests felt pretty good about those donations.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 10:51AM
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gellchom

I'll be 50 next year, and I may very well have a party. Why not?

If you are worrying that people will think you are fishing for gifts, I think that it is all in HOW you do it, not WHETHER. Obviously, you do NOT include any hints or worst of all wish or registry lists. You could write "no gifts please," because although etiquette forbids it (because ANY mention of gifts is forbidden), it certainly isn't greedy or pushy. But as one poster pointed out, many people will buy gifts anyway. I wouldn't assume it's because they are thinking "Oh, yeah, right, I know I AM expected to buy a gift anyway." I think they WANT to buy you a gift. After all, it's your 50th birthday -- party or not, I bet most of your good friends would like to buy you a gift.

Your guest list is the key, in my opinion. Invite people who know you well enough to know you are giving a party to celebrate, not as a fund-raiser for yourself.

For my 40th birthday, I had a semi-surprise party: I knew there would be a party, and when, but my husband and friend made all the plans. (It was really fun -- a sort of a treasure hunt all around town, with the clues being questions from my favorite word game that the teams of four had to solve, then either get the artifact suggested by the answer or do the activity it named -- which sometimes required getting strangers involved, to form a square dance, for example -- which they had to prove with a Polaroid picture. Afterward was supper, comparing the results of the hunt, and giving out prizes.) They didn't put "no gifts" on the invitation, and people did bring gifts (or gave them to me another time). But I don't think it was a problem -- anyway, I hope not (how would I know? People are too polite to tell you something like that! But I have been to others' birthday parties and haven't heard anyone complain about this). Most of the guests were people who would've given me a 40th birthday gift anyway, and the gifts weren't big -- perhaps a picture frame, CD, or a book, or a donation to charity. That's pretty much what you'd spend on a hostess gift if you were invited to dinner for a non-birthday party, isn't it?

The point is, I think people worry too much about this. If they want to give you a gift, they will no matter what you do. It's not terrible to give a gift -- it's fun!

If I have a party next year, I probably will handle this by not mentioning "birthday" (or "anniversary" -- our 25th is the same month as my 50th birthday) on the invitation. Just "please come to a party."

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 2:17PM
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lowspark

Honestly, I love a party. And I think any reason to have one is a good reason! Why not celebrate a milestone with a great party. I wouldn't worry too much about people not coming -- some will and some won't that's just how parties go. If you have a couple of special friends whom you really want to be there, you might firm up the date with them before sending out invitations but aside from that, you just have to send them out and enjoy the company of the folks who are able to come.

As far as the no gifts thing goes, well yeah, people pretty much ignore that. I like the idea of saying something like "in lieu of gifts please donate to xyz charity" -- then folks who want to donate will, those who want to donate AND give a gift will, and those who want to do neither will not feel bad about it.

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 3:44PM
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socks

Jenn, people will come!! You could have an open house which would make it more flexible for people to drop in. Or just invite a few close friends who you think will come and have a smaller gathering.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 9:25AM
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jenn

Thanks everyone. I LOVE the open house idea too for the reasons mentioned and no doubt my closest friends will stay and linger. I also really like the idea about donations to a charity, I had already thought of that. So many needy people and I don't need anything I can't buy. What I really don't want are gag gifts -- I have nowhere to store them! :-)

Thanks for the encouragement and your suggestions. I welcome any and all ideas and suggestions.

Jen

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 11:44PM
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