Baby shower for 2nd and 3rd baby...

michelej21October 19, 2008

Hi!

New here!

I am expecting boy/girl twins and several friends and my sister are insisting on throwing me a shower. I have a 24 month old son already, and i've always felt that showers for 2nd, 3rd babies etc. were greedy! I've tried telling them how I feel but they're going ahead anyway!

Should I keep insisting or just let them throw one? What are your honest thoughts about 2nd/3rd baby showers?

Thanks!

Michele

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carla35

I generally don't like them but I will still attend them. I think in some circumstances, they aren't really that 'bad'. Considering you are having twins, I think you have a little leeway in having another one. I guess a little of it depends too on who is invited to the shower. Will it be work people, (who may tend to complain), the same bunch from two years ago, gossipy in-laws, or a new bunch of friends who weren't there last go around, or even a really close group of good friends who really just want to celebrate you having two babies?

Bottom line, you really probably can't control what others want to do in this case. Let them throw one, enjoy it. I doubt people REALLY care, and those that will probably just won't come. A true friend won't hold it against you regardless. Even if it is a faux pas, there are a lot worse things. It's really not that big of a deal nowadays (so many people do it) especially since you are having twins.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2008 at 11:30PM
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nancylouise_gw

I personally don't think 2nd showers and a 3rd! OMG! are proper. When your twins are born people will be bringing you gifts because they want to, not because of a shower where a gift is expected. If it really is bothering you to have a shower get firm with your sis and friends. Tell them absolutely no shower and stick to it. Your feelings should be respected and not not be taken into consideration. They'll get over it. Your wishes are more important at this time. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   October 20, 2008 at 8:16AM
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gellchom

I'm with the others -- it's not an awful faux pas, but I can see why you are a bit uncomfortable. I really like carla35's post -- all those factors do make a huge difference.

I would feel very different about an invitation to a huge second shower for a coworker's daughter than I would about an invitation to a small lunch out for a close friend with a 24-month-old who is expecting twins.

It's nice that they want to celebrate with you, though, isn't it? Do you think it would satisfy them and allay your concerns if you asked them to make it just a fun party, not a shower, this time? Maybe you can think of something to do with doubles.

Congratulations to you, and may this be the worst problem you ever have!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2008 at 10:03AM
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rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7

I might agree with the others if you weren't having twins! Surely that's an event worth celebrating with a shower. And you will certainly need some extra items.

If I were invited to this event, I'd bring something to pamper the MOTHER! ;-)

    Bookmark   October 20, 2008 at 3:08PM
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fluffed

They want to throw you a party. Go. Enjoy and have fun.

If other people have a problem with it, it is really their problem.

It isn't like you are throwing the party for yourself!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2008 at 9:22PM
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eileenlaunonen

I have 4 children and had a shower for everyone of them...first child was aprrox 100 women the rest was small immediate family and friends who were willing and wanting to do this if they didnt I wouldnt have cared but it was an excuse to get together they enjoyed it so did i and the new baby got some fresh new bedding and onesies...whats the big deal.

    Bookmark   October 23, 2008 at 1:18PM
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marge727

I'm in agreement with eileenlaunoen--its not a big deal. People can always stay home. Twins are a special deal--you need two of everything and the new Mom is not going to be able to take a shower, let alone shop for baby clothes for quite a while. (or sleep) so I am in favor of making a fuss over her. We have babysit the 2 year old twins in our family, they have an older sister too--I don't know how their Mom does it. I need a nap after 4 hours of chasing them. We could rent them out to Jennie Craig.

    Bookmark   October 25, 2008 at 12:19AM
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amyks

I have two friends who wanted to give me a shower for my third child. I insisted very strongly to them that I did not need a shower, nor did I want one. Where I come from this is just not done! I thanked them profusely for wanting to, but I insisted on them not giving me a shower. Well, they surprised me with a shower, a lovely little dinner out with about 10 people, neighbors and friends who weren't around when we had the first two, since we had lived in a different state then. I was overwhelmed with emotion. So grateful that I had friends who wanted to do this for me, who wanted to celebrate my third child in this way. They went to a lot of trouble for me and I will never forget it.

Let them throw you the shower.

Amy

    Bookmark   October 27, 2008 at 6:46AM
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dlynn2

I had my second child less than a year after my first and felt the same way --- no shower. My best friends, however, wanted to do something so that I could have pictures for my second son when he grows up so that he wouldn't feel like he isn't as special as his older brother. They decided to wait until after he was born and have a "Coming Out Party" for him. They had a small party for a few close friends and I brought the new baby so that everyone could see him. I got a few nice gifts (the twin stroller!!) and I have some pictures for his baby book to show him that he also had a baby shower just like his brother.

    Bookmark   November 18, 2008 at 2:47AM
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sharburk

I love baby showers. Even after having four children of my own and now 14 grandchildren. Any time you get together and celebrate a new baby being welcomed into a family is a special occasion. How can you not celebrate a new child, just because he wasn't born first. I don't think you have to bring big gifts, even a frozen casserole for the new family is a welcome gift or an offer to babysit so they can have a night out. JMHO

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 10:35PM
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mary_md7

I think that if a second or later child is a different sex, or it has been a long time between babies, that it's fine. Every baby should be celebrated. But that doesn't necessarily require a gift-giving party, or (OMG) parents registering for hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of items at stores.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2008 at 7:41AM
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plumbly22

EVERY baby, from the first to the 15th is special, and deserves to be recognized. Now, that does not mean that people will necessarily go all out like they do with baby 'equipment' andshowers for subsequent ones, but really, how much is it to toss a toy and an outfit into a gift bag or box and sign a card??? It's not like anyone is asking to outfit full nurseries for each child in a family... just the opportunity to recognize an upcoming birth...

    Bookmark   December 27, 2008 at 9:17PM
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