Tired of listening to my husband!!!

Andrea_AZDecember 15, 2001

Ok, so I was just browsing on this forum and I have a question. I have been married for a year and a half and my hubbie is a little out of shape (not too bad) and it has been increasing since we got married, especially since we had our son 3 months ago (sympathy weight gain!). Before we met, he played basketball in college and probably had 5% body fat, very active and athletic. Since then he is not so active, school full time and work, and all he does is complain about his body. He'll eat too much and then complain about how much he overeats and how fat he is. He is by no means fat...he is 6'6" and weighs about 245 lbs. He just needs to excerise.

How do I motivate him to exercise w/out sounding like I am unhappy with his body? It is no secret that any woman would like there husband to be in shape(and vice versa), but I will love him no matter what. I am getting very tired of hearing him complain about how none of his clothes fit him or that he looks fat in them, but then he does nothing to change the situation. It would be different if he was comfortable with his body, but he is definitely NOT! Any advice, thanks!

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Tuggle

Tell him to start exercising or stop complaining, because you're tired of hearing about it. Why don't you ask him to start taking daily walks/jog with you? Exercise with him, and he should have no problem doing it.

    Bookmark   December 16, 2001 at 2:10AM
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lila

JMO, but I wouldn't say "start exercising or stop complaining." If my SO said that to me, I think I'd be a bit hurt. But I do agree with initiating daily walks and jogs together. What about joining a gym and going together? It's always easier to do stuff like that when you have someone to do it with.

:)

    Bookmark   December 16, 2001 at 8:40PM
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Ocean

I agree with tuggle. It drives me nuts when people stuff themselves then complain that they eat to much, whine about their clothes not fitting then sit on their butts in front of the TV with a bag of chips, etc. I truly think that the only people that have the right to whine about things are the people that are actively trying to change that thing. It's the same with everything in life. If you choose not to vote then never, ever whine to me about what the govenment is doing. You haven't earned the right.
I have a whole family full of people just like him. My Mom will sit on the sofa stuffing a king size chocolate bar in her face and in the same breath whine about her weight.
I would say to Hubby "Honey, you know what you have to do to feel better about yourself. I can't do it for you. I will be here to love you no matter what you choose to do, BUT if you choose to do nothing then I don't want to hear one more word about it." You don't have to be mean or nasty just state the facts, and it may hurt his feelings abit but tell him that everytime he comes down on himself about his weight it hurts you too because you love him. Your marrage is just begining. Be honest with one another from the start.

    Bookmark   December 17, 2001 at 1:48PM
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Weeblewobble

Exercise boosts the immune system and reduces your chances of getting cancer, heart disease and other diseases. Tell him your body also releases endorphins(sic?) when you exercise which reduces stress and depression.

    Bookmark   December 17, 2001 at 3:18PM
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Andrea_AZ

Thanks you guys, very helpful and sensitive advice!

    Bookmark   December 17, 2001 at 7:50PM
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Ocean

There is a great Diet forum here if your DH needs some extra support. There are some men there that like to chat. Unfortunatly it's going to be one of the "Contributing memebers only" forums starting Jan.1 - just like this Exercise and nutrition one- but there is a lot of good advice there to read. I've had a great time on the Low Cal thread there. Very supportive and friendly people.

    Bookmark   December 17, 2001 at 8:55PM
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