I have a problem. I don't know how to respond to a situation that occurred recently.
I was invited to an aunt's house for a family dinner to celebrate my father and step-mother visiting from out of state. My DH and DD (age 6) drove the 60 miles one way and got stuck in horrible traffic, causing us to be 1/2 hour late. When we got to the guarded gate, our names weren't "on the list" and I had to use my father's name to get in. (BTW, my aunt is very well off, and lives in a beautiful community.)When we arrived only my grandfather, father and sm were eating, everyone else was standing in the kitchen talking. We were greeted and we were asked if we wanted a beer. We declined the canned Bud Light. Everyone else was drinking wine, but we were not offered wine. They asked if we were hungry, and we said yes (we were invited to dinner, so had not eaten). Around 1/2 hour later someone finally got us a plate. The food was cold, the salad was gone and had bugs at the bottom. We sat down and ate by ourselves, feeling very uncomfortable. My aunt then left with another aunt to get Starbucks, without saying where she was going, let alone ask if anyone else wanted to go, or wanted something to be brought back. When they returned we said our goodbyes.
Yesterday I got an email from my aunt saying she was sorry we were mistreated but it had nothing to do with my immediate family. She also left a phone message. Basically, she was mad at my SM and took it out on my father, me, my DH.
I don't know how to respond. I'm angry that we wasted three hours driving and two hours at their house just to be treated like that. I'm embarassed that my family treated my DH like that. I can't email her back until I can formulate some kind of response that is respectful but tells it like it is. I don't care who she's mad at, she either should have kept it to herself or cancelled the party. What a waste of time and energy, not to mention the fuel expense.