BD Party for a 6 mth. old???!!!

RobinskiSeptember 11, 2002

My Daughter-in-law is giving a birthday party for our 6 month old grandson. Am I out of touch with the times? I thought proper ettiquite was to wait until the baby's one year birthday. My husband & I are not sure we want to attend this "party".

Also I'm miffed that two weeks ago our grandson was christened, my husband and I couldn't be there; however I sent gifts with my mother-in-law and we have yet to get so much as a simple "Thank you".

Any suggestions on how to handle this tactfully?

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mansurfamily

I haven't heard of a 6 month birthday party, but I have heard of people doing half birthdays, especially when the birthday falls on a holiday, like Christmas. Is it truly a "birthday" or a "come meet the baby" party?

Regarding the thank you, she's got some time left. It's only been two weeks since she recieved your gift and she's probably got her hands full with the baby. I've waited sometimes 3 months for thanks you's and some I never received at all! Some people just don't make the effort anymore.

Having said that, I must also say: life is short time is precious, enjoy the time you have with your family.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2002 at 2:49PM
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lindac

This is your grand child!!!! Why would you NOT go?? 42 years ago, I held a half birthday party for my daughter.....and invited her grand parents, and no one else. I even baked 1/2 a cake!
As for the thank you gift?.....give her a little slack....also perhaps she's busy with a little one, and perhaps she a little miffed that you "couldn't attend" your grandchild's baptism.
I find that if you look for things to be angry about you will find something to annoy you....without fail.
I am so glad my children had warm and loving grandparents who were pleased to attend a party for any reason......and I am very glad that my kids invite me to every small celebration for my grandchildren
Linda C

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 12:26PM
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sarah_socal

I agree 100% with Linda C. If they want to have a "Baby's First Tooth" or "Baby Rolls Over" Party, good for them.

If you don't want to go, don't. But don't condemn them for being so excited about their child.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 12:29PM
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susan_in_nc

Is there a reason you couldn't attend the crhistening? Or, did you choose not to go? That may make a bit of difference in how FAST the thank-you gets sent. After all if you simply didn't want to put in the effort of attending, then you hurt feelings first -- it doesn't matter that a gift was sent. I suggest that you consider the relationship you want to have with this branch of the family, if you want to be close, go to the party and enjoy your visit, don't dwell on the reason just enjoy.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 2:30PM
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prairie_rose

Never had a 6 month old party for my kids, but I agree with Linda and Sarah. Sounds like they are trying very hard to include you in your grandson's life. My parents were excited to have an excuse to come to visit, they lived 100 miles away when my kids were little. Now they live with me in the summer and winter in Arizona. We send videos back and forth of gym meets, dance recitals, school awards, track meets, when they cannot be here. And they would be absolutely horrified if they did not get an invitation to attend any function they could while they are here.

Cut your kids some slack, go and enjoy the party. Take a little gift if you want, or put some money in a savings account for his education. My ex inlaws live overseas, and they put some money in the bank every birthday and Xmas for my kids, and then send it over when it reaches a sizeable sum, and we bank it for their education. We send videos of the same stuff to them, as well, because they cannot attend these functions, and do miss out having time with their grandchildren. Bet they would come in a heartbeat if they could.

Rose

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 3:17PM
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chase_gw

I'm lining up with the others. There are never too many reasons to celebrate!! 6 months , days, or weeks....what a blessing.

Go and enjoy your grandson, especially since you were unable to attend his christening. That's a huge one to miss so I know there had to be a really good reason. Why not go to this one especially since you couldn't make it to the christening.

As for the thank you note....two things, one I'll get clobbered for!! One, it's only been two weeks and that's not much for a new parents! Second, (here is where I duck!!!) A thank you card sent to your Mom is a bit to formal for my tastes.....I am assuming you have talked to your son since the christening and he indicated his appreciation. If you haven't.... well there is more to this story than meets the eye!

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 7:44PM
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acey

Only can offer this...I know someone whose babe infant is quite ill...not sure what the failure is, not sure the parents are broadcasting the "eventualities"...but I know there is a serious problem in this little person's life. Maybe there is a good reason to have a 6 month party? They did not have one, but the problem did not manifest itself until the infant was 8 months old. We are still waiting to see the response. We hope all will be well, but...if the parents want to have a party, what's the harm?

    Bookmark   September 12, 2002 at 10:43PM
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Robinski

Well, now I feel like the BAD GUY! Thank you all for your responses. We couldn't attend the christening because we were only told about it the weekend before, and had already made plans (bought plane tickets) for me to go along with my husband on his business trip. We were called by my son as soon as we got back...he wanted to know what we were cooking for him & DIL for the Labor Day weekend! We did cook for them because we did want to see our grandson. I know their young and their lives are very busy especially with a little one, but it would still be nice to hear the words thank you.

You are right, life is too short. I shouldn't feel that what we're doing for the kids is not appreciated, and any excuse to see our grandbaby is a good one!

    Bookmark   September 13, 2002 at 11:51AM
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chase_gw

way to go!!!!

    Bookmark   September 13, 2002 at 1:39PM
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susan_in_nc

Hope you have a great time!

    Bookmark   September 13, 2002 at 8:36PM
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nookiemonster

i think a b-day party for a 6 month old is a little riduculas. i mean that falls right in with the boyfriend/girlfriend celebrating they're 2 months of going out. too much!! but that's my opinion.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2002 at 7:07AM
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DivaOverhaul2003

Is this a full-blown birthday party with family and friends and gifts are expected? If so, it just reeks of self-absorption and give us gifts, LOL!

Someone mentioned having a small, intimate gathering with 1/2 a cake. That's sweet and understandable and a great idea but a full blown party seems like it would take away from the specialness of having a big 1 year party IMHO unless the child is ill of course and the parents aren't sure if the child will make it to their 1 year b-day.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2002 at 3:55PM
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prairie_rose

Diva,

I agree with you in that respect. But then, I think a 1 year party should only be with family, anyway. I mean, how many friends does a 1 year old have? lol But an excuse to get the family together I think is just fine, anytime.

Rose

    Bookmark   September 16, 2002 at 8:12PM
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Cindy_Mac

Robinski, if you lived in Louisiana you wouldn't give this a second thought. No one misses an opportunity to throw a party. Like they say ... Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!

    Bookmark   September 16, 2002 at 9:26PM
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lindac

The point is....parents inviting their child's grand parents to a party!!
Doesn't matter how many others are invited....or are not invited. This is about the child's grand parents attending the party.
What cold unfeeling people they would be not to attend!
Linda C

    Bookmark   September 16, 2002 at 11:40PM
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Cindy_Mac

Linda, That's a little harsh. Seems there are a few other issues going on here.

A phone call might not be a bad idea. Ask if there's a special reason for the party (possible illness) and hopefully you'll discover that it's just two parents totally in love with their new baby. Ask if you can help with preparations, or bring something special, and inquire about the unmentioned christening gift. Dialogue can answer so many questions.

    Bookmark   September 17, 2002 at 12:56PM
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lindac

Sorry if I sounded harsh....but in my way of thinking, family comes first.....particularly children and MOST particularly babies.
I would have told DH..."sorry....I won't be going with you...I'll be at the Christening, since you can't be there".
As for the party.....why look for an excuse NOT to see your children and their baby?
I have 7 grand children and regret that when 5 of them were babies, they lived too far from me to visit more often than every 2 or 3 months. However....I made up for it with the other two!
I think OP realizes the joy a child can provide.......and will go to the party ready to have fun.
Linda C

    Bookmark   September 17, 2002 at 4:13PM
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chase_gw

When my daughter was born we had a welcome home party, we also had a family party when she was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,11 and 12 months old.....no gifts just the family celebrating her life, our gift, actually it was just Sunday dinner with a focus!

After that I settled down to just the annual b-days.....but our family came together to celebrate the family, so what's so darn bad about that!

I think we need to take every opportunity to celebrate life we can.....well maybe not Autumm but that's another story.

    Bookmark   September 17, 2002 at 7:41PM
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hale_bopp

I'm with you, Chase! Celebrate away! Life is too danged short.

:)
Blessings,
Haley

    Bookmark   September 19, 2002 at 2:40AM
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DivaOverhaul2003

Robinski wrote:
We couldn't attend the christening because we were only told about it the weekend before, and had already made plans (bought plane tickets) for me to go along with my husband on his business trip.

Lindac wrote:
I would have told DH..."sorry....I won't be going with you...I'll be at the Christening, since you can't be there".

Obviously it wasn't extremely important to the parents that the grandparents be at Christening since they never checked to make sure they didn't already have other plans that weekend and then only invited them the prior weekend.

    Bookmark   September 19, 2002 at 10:41AM
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Corrie

I think if the grandparents were only invited the week before, then likely the party is just an impromptu occaision to get together and enjoy the new baby. In this case I think it would be foolish to give up a vacation with plane tickets bought and paid for, but certainly not worth getting miffed about either. So it didn't work out for the grandparents this time; they can stop in for a visit as soon as they get back. Even better, they can invite the young family to their home for dinner and a visit; being parents of a young child can be exhausting and they'd probably welcome the opportunity for a relaxing visit with family. Blessed are the flexible for they shall never be bent out of shape! Corrie

    Bookmark   September 22, 2002 at 2:51AM
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