Baby Shower Etiquitte

silverswordSeptember 8, 2008

Quick question...

Two of my husband's co-workers recently got pregnant, got married, decided to move 180 miles away. The week before they left they threw themselves a baby shower by going around to each desk in the office and leaving an invitation by the keyboard (maybe 50+ desks). One of those people crumpled up the invite and left it on the mom-to-be's desk. Of course, being 8 months pregnant, she is understandably very emotional and she and her husband take off from work for the rest of the day.

My question: is it in bad taste to invite everyone in the office in this way, especially since the point of a baby shower is to receive gifts, and they will be leaving the next week?

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nancylouise_gw

Yes, it was in bad taste to invite your co-workers this way. Especially a week before they are to leave. They shouldn't even be throwing their own baby showers. It looks like they are just being gift grabbers. It was just as bad to crumble up the invitation and leave it on the mom to be desk. A simple "sorry, I will be unable to attend," should have been enough. I probably would not have attended the showers and just sent cards when the babies were born. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 12:51PM
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silversword

Thanks NancyLouise... I sympathized with the mother when she called me because she felt so bad about the crumpled invitation. But I felt it was in really bad taste so wanted to get some feedback to make sure I wasn't overreacting. I didn't want to say anything to her because she's so young and pregnant and overwhelmed and I remember my emotions when I was pregnant, they were off the scale!

I didn't attend the shower because I had prior plans but plan to send them a little something once the baby is born.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 1:26PM
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colleenoz

While throwing one's own baby shower a week before leaving is tacky, crumpling the invitation and leaving it on the hostess's desk was unneccessarily cruel. The co-worker clearly intended to give the hostess a message, but in my opinion the strongest message there is that the co-worker is a nasty piece of work.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 8:08PM
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lindac

Tacky Tacky!!...So you go around to all your co workers a week before you move out and say..."I'm pregnant! Buy me something before I leave and I never see you again."
Yes the crumpled invitation was cruel and tacky too, but I'll bet if she had been a well loved and admired member of the work crew, someone would have said "Let's give her a shower before she leaves!!"...but they didn't.
I'll bet she won't do that again.
Linda C

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 8:30PM
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gellchom

colleenoz, I think you said it all perfectly. I agree with every word you wrote 100%.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 10:36PM
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colleenoz

Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! (Dancing around the room :-D) High praise indeed!!!!!!!! I always think you give the best advice :-)

    Bookmark   September 8, 2008 at 11:09PM
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mitchdesj

Yes, it was rude to put the crumpled invitation on the girl's desk, but sometimes it's a wake-up call and someone might be honest enough to let her know what the majority of people thought about her self-given shower.

sometimes I think clueless people need frank advice, such as, "you're giving yourself a shower, really ?"

    Bookmark   September 17, 2008 at 7:14AM
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becca951

Bad form on so many different levels. No one should ever be throwing their own shower, it is someone else's job to step forward and want to throw this celebration.

Also, leaving invitations beside everyone's keyboard is also kind of tacky and rude (takes me back to those 2nd grade class rules of having to invite ALL the kids in the class if you were handing out invites AT school).

Just as rude, though, for the invite to be crumpled up and put on the pregnant gal's desk, though.

Here is a link that might be useful: Baby Shower Etiquette

    Bookmark   September 21, 2008 at 8:27PM
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