what to say to my neighbor?
i'm very sorry if this is a little off-topic, but i don't know what other forum to post in! please forgive me :)
i bought my first house ever back in march. i'm 24, single, and rather shy, so i didn't go around and introduce myself to everyone... but i have made friends with the neighbors to my west (especially their daughter, and i don't usually do well with kids) and am doing pretty well with my neighbors to the east. it's the lady diagonally across the street i'm not sure about.
the only times i've talked to her were when she came over to see what was up with the redbud trees i planted in my front yard. they're pretty tall and it was the wrong time of year to transplant them, but the previous owner was just going to throw them away. she came over and wanted to know what was wrong with the trees, and i told her they were in shock. turns out she does landscaping at the nearby university and just can't stand to see distressed trees. i'm the same way, but she really came off as abrupt and bossy. i thanked her for her advice and have tried to keep the trees alive, but i don't think they'll make it. :(
my next encounter with this woman was when she marched across the street to say "they're dead." i'd figured that out already, but okay. i haven't dug them out yet, though, because my medicine makes me nauseous and it's all i can do to keep the yard mowed in this heat.
then she tells me that i'll be getting a shirt in the mail sometime soon. they used my address because the rule was "one per household." i must have given her a funny look because she said "oh, we've got them coming to everyone!" and pointed at a few houses, including my neighbors with the little girl. now i thought that was a little rude for them to do that without asking. maybe it's okay with the other neighbors, but they already know her and this was only the second time i'd even talked to her!
my problem now is that i talked to her last maybe two weeks ago. i assume the shirt should have been here already, because she said it would be coming "any day." i'm wondering if this means she got her shirt at her house, and then marched over to my mailbox and got that one. i work until 6pm and sometimes don't get home until late evening if i go shopping or whatever. that means there's a couple hours between the time the mail comes and the time i get home.
i'm not a confrontational person, but i want to know what happened. i feel rather violated thinking that she might have come over and pawed through my mail. it's just the usual bills and junk mail, but it's my mail! and the mailbox is on my front porch. am i being overly sensitive here? how should i approach her about this? i do NOT want this to happen again. i've thought about telling her that the shirt she mentioned never came. but if she then says she saw it and came and got it, what do i say without making an enemy?
i'm sorry this was long and rambling--i'm not good at keeping it short! ;) i'd really appreciate any ideas anyone has. i'm really not good at confrontation, but i have a really sarcastic sense of humor. i'm afraid that if i got up the nerve to say anything, i'd say something baaaad. help, please!