forced to give a party on short notice
My father is about to turn 65. A big number, especially after surviving a major cardiac event earlier this year.
My family has this tradition of treating each member to dinner on their birthdays, to the restaurant of their choosing. Everyone usually has a great time(son in law and grandkids too).
Because of the special circumstances, we(three daughters and wife) were planning on taking dad to an extra-nice place to celebrate this year.
But mom informs us, about two weeks ago, that dad's been dropping hints for months. He would like to have us throw him a "big party and invite all his friends and family".
He has even chosen the w/e he would like to have it. We have just under a month to do this!
Here are the sticky details (as if the short notice wasn't enough):
A)My youngest sister still lives at home. She's got a strong bond with dad, and an even stronger sense of family. She understands it'll be tough but, dad's worth it, and if he wants a party, he should get a party. Nothing else will do. Because she doesn't have to worry about many bills, or grocery shopping, she can't see a problem with this financially. And doesn't seem to think the time limitations are a problem either, "we'll just E-vite everybody". Realistically speaking she's trying to save up for her own place -and with Christmans coming, this party is going to hurt her pocketbook. She's also celebrating a major birthday next year and hopes MAYBE the favor will be returned. She'll be thirty.
B)My middle sister is a single mom with a mortgage, car payments, and lots of overtime to make ends meet. She's got a great mind for numbers and likes to plan and budget for large purchases. She also has Christmas shopping to do.
C)I'm a stay at home mom, I work every other w/e because although my husband has a great job, its nice to have a little cushion. Plus, it keeps me sane. We like to plan and budget as well. I'm also not going to be available on the w/e dad chose because of a prior commitment (he didn't choose his birthday w/e).
I suggested we take dad to a nice restaurant, known for great food and good sized portions. We ask dad for his top ten (or so) list and offer them a banquet style menu. Where the menu items are chosen by the party host ahead of time, you know "chicken, fish, or beef" salad and desert. We(the daughters)split the tab. There won't be a D.J. (which dad says he wants) but with good friends and family Im sure he'll have a good time.
I think this is much more intimate, easier to plan on short notice, and dad can spend time with those important to him, not a room full of people and their guests.
My dad's a bit of a show-off and can be a 'people user'. He likes attention when he can get it. I believe the party is more to be the center of attention than to share time with all those dear to him, as he wants to invite people who he doesn't even keep in touch with, unless he needs something.
My youngest sister is the loudest and most likely to make waves She'll fight for this party even if it breaks her bank OR never let me forget how I let dad down.
My middle sister just doesn't want to have any hard feelings. Even if it means regretfully, dipping into her Christmas fund.
I refuse to be bullied into debt for a birthday party we got very little notice about. I love my dad, but I have a financial obligation to my "core" family first.