SSSSSupport 6-September - 11-September

deemarie5500September 6, 2005


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Hey DeeMarie - just a week until we get together!!!!!!!

It has been lonely around here....

    Bookmark   September 6, 2005 at 2:57PM
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Hey DeeMarie and Raeanne,

I am here and don't forget that I will be getting together with you in a week too!!

Very quiet here lately.

I had a family wedding this weekend. I hate to sound cynical but I hate weddings and all the "traditions". It's boring, especially when the bride and groom are almost 50! I mean do we really have to smash wedding cake in each others faces.................puleeeeeeease. Okay, so I should be banned from weddings but I that would delight me!! Okay, it's behind me now and I don't have to do it again anytime soon.

Just returned from giving blood. The woman extracting my blood was painfully inept!! I have small veins and I think it takes someone really good to get it right. I spent 16 minutes giving my pint and was uncomfortable the entire time! The woman kept fooling around with the needle and I swear I wanted to strangle her. GRRRRRRRRRR no wonder there is a blood shortage!

Okay, I know I just spent this time ranting so I will stop and tell you...

It's a most glorious day outside and besides the wedding, I had two wonderful rides with my girls. No bugs, no sweat! Just beautiful connection time through the woods. I cannot ask for more than that!

I am off again this weekend to Newbury, NH where some of you recall I saw the northern lights. I pray for such a gift again for that was truly specatacular.

I hope we hear from everyone this week. There are some seriously MIA's!

Gretchen, I am thinking of you and your family and hope you are all well and coping.

    Bookmark   September 6, 2005 at 4:10PM
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NH Suzanne - I could never forget that I am meeting with you too - that was a collective "we" not just a DeeMarie and ME (had to rhyme). I am so glad this is happening. I don't care for a lot of tradition when it comes to weddings too. I don't like it when the photographer stages the entire event - it seems like the wedding has turned into a photo shoot, instead of a beautiful moment. The last wedding I went to, they did all the pomp and circumstance at the beginning of the wedding, cutting the cake - no throwing the bouquet or garter and then they just danced the rest of the evening with no interuptions - it was a lot of fun. OUch on the blood thing. I am glad you got in some fun time with the girls - it was beautiful here too and I took a long walk, just me and my iPod.

I have to get busy cooking dinner - steak and asparagus on the grill.

    Bookmark   September 6, 2005 at 6:21PM
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Raeanne, I know that you could not forget me!! How could you? LOL I just wanted to stand up and be counted!! LOL

Hello to all the MIA's you need to stand up and be counted too!

Okay, it's a little after 7pm and the turkeys are all getting ready to roost as am I!! That's over two hours of daylight missing that I have noticed lately! Ugh.

    Bookmark   September 6, 2005 at 7:13PM
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HI folks,

Im not a huge fan of weddings either, most of them seem overly expensive and when and if I ever do get married I would rather have $20,000 to put down on a house or a nice vacation than over priced food for bunch of people you hardly see. But im a guy, and one that cares little for spending time with family and friends that are not normally a part of my life... you know the ones you only see at weddings or hear from every 3 or 4 years...

Speaking of romance, I have a rant of my well as some questions. I have been dating my GF for about a year and right now Im not sure if it is going to continue. She has some severe medical issues, including fibromyalgia and lupus. Basically her nerves fire at odd times and her muscles stiffen up and she is often in pain. Some days the pain gets so bad she has to take pain medications and just sleep to get through it. She will often be OK for days at a time, but every now and then she has a really bad week, often caused by rain and humidity. She was dx with this 3 years ago and is only able to work part time as a consultant. She no longer qualifies for Cobra, and wont qualify for Medicare for another year so has no insurance right now. Things are not easy for her, and she has to deal with people, like her mother, who cant understand why she cant work and donÂt believe she is in pain. The pain is all too real, and IÂve seen her on days where she is in so much pain she can hardly move and it makes her sick to her stomach. She was living at home, but her mother is such a drama queen she had to move out. She is one of those people who always is sicker or in more pain than you are. My Gf has problems with her tailbone, a week later her mom has tail bone pain, and so on. I also found out her mom hates me because I expected my GF to share time around the holidays and spend some time with my family. Her brother jokes with me on how I ruined thanks giving and Easter for them... Anyhow thatÂs a little background.

The problem is that last year my GF stated that she wasnÂt sure she ever wanted to be in a relationship because she didnÂt end up wanting to be a burden to anyone. She is afraid her condition can get worse and she may end up in a wheel chair and even worse dying. Now itÂs been 3 years and she hasnÂt gotten much better, but hasnÂt gotten much worse either. Her pain has spread a little bit, but the swelling in her spine, which would cause the mobility and death issues, has been stable. I basically told her that anyone of us could get ill or hurt and become a burden, but that shouldnÂt stop us from seeking companionship and being with someone we love. She didnÂt agree completely but agreed to continue to date and build trust and work towards that. She loves me and thinks im great, and I do love her. At the beginning of the summer I asked her what she thought about moving in together and she kinda freaked out a bit and it brought up this whole issue again.

Im not an overly needy person I dont think. I work odd hours and so we often only see each other once a week and then again on my weekends off. I would like to see more of her but that would mean either moving in together or her having to get up early and drive 20 mins to my house on the mornings after I work. She often has Dr apts in the morning or has trouble falling asleep so sleeps in late so it never seems to work out. When she is feeling well I see her often and things are fine. When she is not feeling well I rarely see her. I offer to drive to her place and just hang out but she has only accepted the offer once and then had to leave after an hour to go to the Drs. Sometimes she will go 2 or 3 days without even calling me, this just happened. I saw her friday night and she was hurting so went home and told me she would call me sat morning. Sat and Sun came and went and nothing, I even left her messages on her cell with no replies. Monday she calls me like nothings wrong. We talked a little but I was really too mad to get into it and was just relieved that she was OK. She said she was only awake a couple hours sat and sunday got up to go to her nephews bday party then went back home to go to sleep. This is basically the same excuse she has given in the past, and my gripe to her is always "why didnt you take 1 min to just call and tell me what was going on". She had no answer this time except to say I was right and she should of...

Its very hard for me to step back and look at this objectively so thats why Im asking for input. To me there are two possibilities going on here. One is that she doesnt see things the same way as I do and is fine if we dont speak every day and is continuing to take things slowly as she is still scared of marriage and commitment. Thats a possibility because her last BF left her because he didnt want a sick GF. The other is that she is doing this all on purpose or even unconsciously, to undermine the relationship so that I will end it or get tired of this and therefore she wont have to make the choice to end things. Every time I bring this up she tries to do better, calls me more and so forth, but it doesnt last very long and so every 3 or 4 months we have an issue where she goes days with no contact. Each time I get worried, mad, frustrated and pissed at her. I know relationships all have their issues, but im unclear if this is an acceptable one or one that we should continue to work on and talk about. Its hard because I know her condition makes it hard to remember things and sometimes the pain gets so bad she justs wants to crawl in her hole and hide from everyone, even me. I guess im the opposite and when I hurt I want support and the company from loved ones. I dont know if this is a difference we can work on or if its a deal breaker. She is a very independent woman and I enjoy that, because im not too fond of very needy women. So maybe I want my cake and can eat it too, I want her independent when it suits me and needy when it does as well.

My big dilemma is to be patient and give her the time she needs or to cut my losses and move on. Im 35 and all my friends are married with kids or have great careers, and I have neither. So ive been feeling that Ive done nothing with my life and really feel that my life is meaningless right now. Im not suicidal or anything like that, but just feel life is passing me by. So perhaps this is my problem and im being to anxious and wanting things to move along too fast. I want a family of my own, that doesnÂt have to include children and if it does adoption would be fine. I just dont want to be lonely and face my later years by myself. I dont think my GF wants to be alone either, she is just scared to leap and she feels I sometimes dont realize what being married to her would mean, I could end up being her 24/7 nurse, and she wouldnt be able to continue to be active with me. Im honestly not so concerned about that, I can kayak and golf with friends, I just want someone to share my life with and to spend time with, not only on dates but in life too. However perhaps she is right and I should look for someone who is ready to be in a relationship and wants to start a family now.

Sorry if this is kinda a bummer and long, but I could really use some advice and I couldnt think of a better group of people to ask. I trust you all will be fair and stern and have the experience with people and relationships to offer me good advice.

thank you in advance, Im glad to have a shoulder like this to lean on in need.


    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 1:43AM
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John, Just want you to know that I read your post today and am weighing it, not ignoring it. Immediately, many thoughts came to mind, but of course, I'm sorting them logically and emotionally. I'll be back later with a "fair and stern response!"

I'm sure all your other sisters will chime in soon also. Keep in mind that we are very protective of you and love you very much. So our answers may be stilted in the best interest of YOU and your future family.

Hang in there, advice is ALWAYS on the way in this forum!


    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 10:56AM
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John - my initial reaction to your post was that your GF is trying to sabotage the relationship in order to spare you of dealing with her as a "burden". I will think more about it, but that's what my gut says. In the meantime ((((HUGS))))...

Gotta run, but wanted to reply to our brother.

    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 11:25AM
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John, I really feel for you and your situation. I think when she is sick and in pain, she might feel so into herself that she does not want to include anyone (who hasn't had a day or two like that!). On the other hand, she most likely had that type of relationship with her former BF, and old habits are hard to break. I would hang in there for the time being, but be sure to constantly let her know that you prefer communication during her difficult times.

Here's an example of my situation--we are married and living in the same house!!! My DH can be notoriously lax in the communication department---last week I phoned him on my way home from the office to speak to him about starting dinner. It was 6:15 and I told him I was 20 minutes away. No problem, he says. I get home, his vehicle is in the driveway, but he's not in the house. He's not in the yard, he's not anywhere to be found. There is no note or phone message either. I dialed *69 to see who the last person to call our home happened to was my cell phone. On a hunch, I called his daughter's cell phone. "Oh, dad is with me; we're picking up my car at the repair station"!! Nice, huh? Now, I'm angry because he obviously got her call BEFORE I talked to him. He could have told me he would not be home when I got there, but he felt that it was not necessary to leave a message, and I worry too much about nothing. LOL!!!

Continue to be honest with her and follow your heart. It may be that she is giving you every opportunity to back out of this, but if you love her and believe that you can live with her 'as is', let her know that. It may take some time to work this out, but I would not give up yet.

Hope I helped a bit. Keep coming here and letting us share this with you.


    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 12:22PM
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Hi all! John, I need to think about this, too. I will say that you need to really look at your friend's 'great' lives. Sometimes, things aren't always what they seem to be on the surface; if you really want to get married and have kids, make sure it is really what *you* want, not just thinking that's what everyone does, gee, i hafta too.

Sick as a dog here with that d@mned fluish bug going around. I'll be back whn I actaully can make some sort of sense--



    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 1:36PM
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This site p!sses me off SO BADLY sometimes. I had a LONG post for John, but the site freaked out and it was lost. I'll rewrite and post tonight.


    Bookmark   September 7, 2005 at 9:05PM
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Take a deep breath, John LOL!!!

Good THURSDAY morning everyone!

Hope everyone got their kiddies off to school and that all is well. Kimberly is OK with college, but has a nasty head infection going on; doc gave her 3 meds. She saw her guidance guy and he's promised to keep in touch with her about her program.

I'm excited about meeting up with Raeanne & Suzanne next week!

QOD: Any weekend plans? We have none, but I may ask MIL up for dinner on Sunday. My SIL usually has her for dinner on the weekends (they live about 5 houses from each other), but SIL is heading down to Hilton Head for a week. Not sure what to cook for a woman who loves her own Hungarian-style foods. I'm thinking good old Iiiiiitalian, right? She may not accept the invite because she's not crazy about driving too far (we are only 8 miles away!), but I told DH he should extend it anyway.

Make today count!

Take care, eat healthy, and NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 8:40AM
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QOD - Friday night is a "Meet the Artists" night at my art studio - I am almost embarrassed to show up, but will be there to support the studio LOL. 3 of my "masterpieces" will be on display. Afterwards to dinner with friends we haven't been out with in a long time. Saturday is our anniverary and I'm not sure what we will be doing, but we will celebrate (28 years). Sunday? hopefully a boat ride.

BJ - okay I have never been in a Cessna(sp?), so talk me through this. We have been invited to go with a friend who is a pilot to the Finger Lakes and go on a winery tour near the end of the month (for 3 days). I am excited about the whole thing and it hasn't crossed my mind to say no, but I have to admit I am a bit nervous about it. He has a helicopter, the cessna and a small commuter plane and I feel he is very experienced and trustworthy, but I am still nervous LOL.

John - I am still thinking about this one and can't wait to see BJ's reply. I have to admit that when I am in pain or sick, I shut down and I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want anyone to bother me - I like to be left totally alone - however, my DH is very much like you and wants to help - so sometimes I snap at him or ignore him when I don't feel well, after 28 years neither one of us have changed in this respect - fortunately, I am hardly ever sick. I am still rooting for you to find a common ground with her.

DeeMarie - I think some men hear things differently than we do - sometimes I have Rich repeat what I just told him, so I know he heard me LOL.

DD#2 returned from Greece last night and last night DD#1 left for Red Rocks near Denver to go to a couple nights of Dave Matthews concerts.

Besh - how is it being back to work?

Marci - do you have any criers this year? I see that they made Harry Connick, jr. the Ambassador for Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans, so I think that will be where I send my support - as I love him and trust that he will do what is best for the people in need.

Tikanis - you posted a survival kit a while back, but it might be a good time to post it again, if you have the time - I never made my kit up, but I am ready to get serious about it.

We had lunch on our boat yesterday, it was a beautiful day on the lake.

It's my day off and I have a ton of things to do and a lot of running around.

Have a great day!

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 9:30AM
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NH Suzanne - your wish may be granted, I just received an e-mail saying that if the sky is clear Friday night we may be able to see the Northern Lights!!! I will be looking for them.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 10:14AM
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First off, a year is great amount of time to check someone out for a relationship, so I congratulate you on waiting to make a serious move until now. So many people follow their lust and heart, instead of their mind and the long-term result of their actions.

Your GF sounds like she has a problem with or fear of commitment. As you pointed out, there are periods of intense closeness, followed by the frustration of her not contacting you. She knows you love her and communication is very important to you, yet she continually controls that part of the relationship by refusing to return your phone calls. This, IMO, is quite manipulative. Case in point is last Sunday, when she was able to go to her nephew's birthday, but was unable to take the time to call YOU, her caring Significant Other. My advice is that if you want your GF to move in with you that you seek couples counseling first. Once she's in, it'll be hard to go back or break off the relationship, especially if she has no means of support and no medical coverage. You will be her near sole support system.

Be careful (said very gently) about being her knight in shining armor. After a while, no matter how nice you are, being somewhat taken for granted comes around and then the resentment kicks in. But let's just say she moves in and everything is great. You get along well, you love and take care of her and she provides companionship and love for you. In her condition, and I am asking because I don't know--- will she be able to bear the children you dream of or will she be approved for the child you may eventually adopt? As well, can you support a family, financially and emotionally, as an almost single dad? You mentioned you may end up being her 24/7 nurse. You may want to discuss this seriously with her. Will she be resentful if you are out hiking and kayaking with your friends and your kids and she is at home, alone? You seem like a social guy; is she outgoing as well?

Further, you say that her family is not supportive of the relationship. Perhaps they don't want to see her hurt or perhaps, they don't like the interference your relationship with her brings. Either way, it's not good. She has a lot to do with how her family feels. They build their opinion of you indirectly from her. Do you and GF split the holidays evenly between your families? Does her family invite you over? Is SHE explaining to them that she like to spend time with your family or does she relay that you're "making" her attend your family gatherings? Relationships with in-laws are difficult, but imagine the impact of this one on your future family. This needs to be repaired she that everyone gets along in a mature way. It takes two to tango and so you have to hold some responsibility of making this work if the relationship moves forward.

In reading your post, you say you don't think you're an overly needy person. I don't think you are either. The needs you described sound very normal and logical. It's normal to want to see, spend time, and talk with someone you love. AND IT'S NORMAL TO EXPECT THE SAME IN RETURN, especially after a year.

I know you love this girl, and a break-up would be very painful, but let's entertain the thought of one, for argument's sake. You CAN still be a very supportive friend to her, after the healing of the breakup. However, you may find yourself drifting if or when you start another relationship. So, youll have to address that with her.

As a curiosity, Id love to know why you continue to work the night shift? Isnt that a little self-defeating to yourself if you truly want the things you outlined in your post? Expecting your GF or a future GF or your future family to operate on a reverse sleep schedule is creating an obstacle that isnt necessary. You can find a day job and make having a relationship and family ten times easier. You may love to work in the middle of the night, but if you really, really want the things you say you do, this will probably be the first change you need to make. You may be sabotaging your own efforts and have a little fear of commitment yourself. Take a look at your motives here.

Many men approaching their 40s look around and finally start deciding what REALLY matters to them and what they want to do with the rest of their life. This might be because they consider 40 the half-way point in their lives. When you look around, ask yourself these questions:

Do you have purpose? What example will you set for my friends, family, and kids?

Have I outgrown your current relationship? Youve taken on quite a diet and fitness program in the last year, so you may want to examine whether your current GF can keep up with you. Further, if you plan of being her 24/7 nurse, you wont be nearly as active as you are now. Is that okay with you? How much are you willing to sacrifice for this love? There arent any wrong answers here, only personal decisions.

What do you want in a job? Do you want a great paying job? Or a job that you love? Both? A rewarding job? Travel? Define your requirements and then get working on them. Maybe youll have to move to find the job you want. Is that something you are willing to do? Will your GF move with you?

Do you want to be near your family? Is it important for her to be near hers? How will holidays work with whomever youre with? Get an idea now.

Take your GF to counseling and work out the logistics of living together. Answer hard questions. Better to find out now if she and you can do it or not. If she refuses to go, then how will you handle future problems and a lack of communication? How will you solve problems if your GF is emotionally tangled and wont talk?

And Maddies post made a great point: Do you really want a family and kids? Maybe. Maybe not. My DH said a funny (haha) thing in counseling one time. He said if he had never had children, he would have regretted it. But now that hes had the experience, he would have probably not had them and had more freedom of choice in life and love. (He happens to be a blatantly honest person!) Another guy friend of mine is in serious emotional jeopardy because he held off getting married and having kids and now hes alone and hates it, has a traveling job, and cant have a relationship. Yet another guy friend had kids, didnt raise them, and regrets it. Do you want to have children, adopt, foster, or be a Big Brother to them? Discuss the with your GF. Think hard about exactly why and what sort of a second half of life you want to have. It goes by fast.

What do you strive for? Accomplishment? Security? Love? Power? Excitement? Knowledge? Making a difference in one persons life or several? Talent? What does your GF strive for? Does she (or you) live day to day? Are you okay with sacrificing some of your dreams for hers? Youll have to if you stay with her. And she will have to for you.

You are questioning your relationship for a reason here. Youre unhappy with it. It needs to change or you need to leave.

And being alone is not the same as being lonely. Take an evening or two and write a story about how you want your life to play out. Then make it come true.

We love you!, BJ

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 11:19AM
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Raeanne~If the guy has that many aircraft, he's probably a seasoned pilot. A Cessa is a high wing plane and glides very nicely and flies wonderfully. I LOVE CESSNAS! That's the plane I learned to fly in! You'll have a wonderful time. You'll surely be hooked by the end of the evening! Just make sure he doesn't sample the wine while on the tour----I'M SERIOUS THERE. Eight hours (at least) from bottle to throttle. That's for sure. ENJOY the flight!

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 11:24AM
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I notice I changed some I's to you and vise versa at the question portion of the end my post to John. When my post got lost, I quickly rewrote it and posted it this morning w/o proofing. Excuse the contradicting pronouns please! :)

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 12:13PM
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Well I know who to turn to when I need counseling - BJ you are awesome and I have to reread that post when I have more time. I love the ending of writing a story and making it come true - we should all do that.

BJ - We are going for 3 days so he can drink the first day and then won't drink at all the day before we leave - how is he going to deal with 3 drunks LOL. Thanks for the input.

My errands were stopped short, DH needed help at work, so here I am, just waiting for a couple flyers to stop printing and I will be on my way.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 12:53PM
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Raeanne~ Thanks, friend! You are such a good wifey to do flyer for your DH! Have fun on your trip! Ask to sit up front and get a flying lesson! You're gonna love it!
---- but we'll MISS YOU!!!!!!

John~ I spoke with a friend of mine that has fibromyalgia and she says your GF should see a couple of docs until she gets one who will prescibe the right meds so that she can function well in everyday life. My friend belongs to a group of patients who are living life, having kids, and enjoying themselves every day. Maybe the lupus and her other medical conditions are interfering with her ability to conduct life in an enjoyable way, but the fibromyalgia should be treatable.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 5:56PM
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Raeanne - Today was the first day for the three year olds. We had 3 criers in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, plus one girl who wouldn't even leave her mother's side and never made it into the classroom. Her mother has already told us that she will scream and cry on Tuesday and probably throwup. Oh goody! Something to look forward to! LOL

I love Harry Connick Jr. too. Did you see him on Larry King on Saturday? We are having a penny drive in Sept. and Oct. for Habitat for Humanity and the Lutheran church will match our donation . I am hoping our parents ask every one they know to give up all their pennies (and any other change they can spare), so we can send a nice donation to Habitat. Every little bit will help.

The four year olds come tomorrow and I expect the morning to go smoothly, as most of those kids were here last year. The afternoon has more new kids, but usually the four year olds handle coming to school for the first time better than the three year olds. But I have to say that over all, I was pleased with the way today went. Tuesday, when the parents can't stay, may be a whole different story though.

John - I was going to say exactly what BJ said! LOL Seriously, I think you need to be brutally honest with your GF. Don't assume she knows what you want, how you are feeling or what you expect her to say or do. Tell her!
Then listen to what she says. Ask her to be just as honest with you in her answers. Then decide where you can both compromise. Maybe she is too tired on those "bad" days to communicate. Maybe you won't be able to talk with her every day. Can you adjust your expectations? Compromise is a much maligned word these days, but without it, neither party wins. You just have to decide which issues are not up for compromise and which issues you are willing to discuss. Ask her what is important to her in this relationship and where she sees the 2 of you 6 months or a year from now. If she doesn't have a vision of a shared future, she may not be "the one". My DS just broke up with his GF of 4 1/2 years, because neither one would compromise. I feel it is their loss and it makes me sad.
Good luck in whatever you decide.


    Bookmark   September 8, 2005 at 8:49PM
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DeeMarie: Did your MIL accept the invite? Why not ask her to teach you how to cook a Hungarian dish? She'd just have to supply you with an ingredient shopping list or maybe you guys could go shopping tohether! Couldn't DH pick her up? HAHA. I'm trying to make your weekend MORE busy for you! LOL! :)

Raeanne~ Enjoy the weekend! Man, your kids sounds like jetsetters! They travel as much as you do!

Marci: Glad you had a goood start. Hope Tuesday is smooth sailing.

QOD: Today, I'm headed downtown for a lunch. It's DH's last day of his internship. Then I have to do some biz at work and get an emissions test on my car. Hope it passes. Tonight, DH and I are headed out to a quick dinner and a drink while one DD is at her high school football game. I have to be very, very careful eating out as I think I am entering plateau territory in my weight loss. The good news is I have lost over 15 inches in bust, waist, abs, and hips.

Saturday, we're all going to the last fair of the year---it's the biggest. But if it rains too hard, we'll pass on it.

Sunday is a birthday party for a family friend of my youngest DD. I will stay at the party to help my friend with her new baby while she runs the party. Baby holding!!!! I love it!!!! Then, later, we're having our neighborhood picnic and BBQ. They have it on our community tennis courts (lots of room!) and are having one of those blow up bouncy room-things for the kids----and lots of food---POTLUCK! There are 42 families and usually a good turnout. I am in charge of one of the grills, so I'll be having fun for sure!

Somewhere in there, I have to balance a checkbook and reconcile 2 credit card statements. And there's the ever-present laundry!

BESH! Are you still on WW? Check in!

Have a GREAT weekend! Cheers!

    Bookmark   September 9, 2005 at 10:55AM
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BJ - We aren't going this weekend, it will either be next weekend or the one after that - but I am ready. Yes, my kids are jetsetters. Both have been more places than I have!!! I am jealous of r life LOL. Sounds like you have another full weekend. How is DD doing with her driving? That must be a big help for you.

Dee & Suzanne - I can't believe that in 4 days we will be together! This is too exciting for me.

John - have you come to any decisions? I have a friend going through something similar, except that she is married. She knows she is at the point where she needs to either accept her life as it is and find outside activities to fulfill her needs or call it quits. It is a tough one. I think you got a lot of good advice, just sort through it and think on it for a bit - there is no reason to jump in or out of anything immediately. You always sound very level headed to me and I am sure you will find the right answer within yourself.

I have to get back to work, just had to say HI.

    Bookmark   September 9, 2005 at 12:33PM
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Good FRIDAY afternoon!!

Well, I'm off to the hairdressers in about an hour. I thought I needed a cut, along with my coloring, but almost everyone who saw the way I had to comb my hair this week told me "I love your hair!" Looks like I may just get a trim of the ends and see if I can grow it a bit longer. DH likes it longer anyway. I've been gelling it and combing it over a bit like Veronica Lake haha. Not really that severe, but I've gotten noticed, so who the h*ll knows anymore. LOL

Raeanne/Suzanne, I'm getting excited too. I assumed I'd probably see Raeanne again in her travels here, but wasn't so sure the Suzanne thing would work out. This should be a blast! Hope I don't spill the teacup again!

Maddie, I did not forget about you...I owe you a phone call, but my time is not my own lately.

Work is hectic, but a good hectic and not too full of pressure. There are projects that I'm eager to get started and should be great learning experiences, but it would be nice to have more time to really absorb the good stuff.

My neighbor called yesterday and asked if I would like to walk around the lake with her early in the (weekday) mornings. We met at 6:15 and walked for about 40 minutes. It felt wonderful, and I'm hoping that she sticks to it. I'll be ready, but she likes to sleep in...I like to start my day at the office by 7:30 sharp so that I can get home at a decent hour in the evenings. If this works out for me, I should start to see improvements in my metabolism. Fingers crossed............!

Gotta run. Make today and this weekend count!

Take care, eat healthy, and NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

    Bookmark   September 9, 2005 at 1:34PM
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Hey Dee - don't glam yourself up too much. I am overdue for dye job and it won't happen before Tuesday LOL. I have been walking and I forgot how much I enjoy it. My friend (Chris) will be joining me soon, that makes the time go by much faster. I sent you an e-mail.

    Bookmark   September 9, 2005 at 3:23PM
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Got the e:mail Raeanne, and I'm on the case! lol

Did my gardening for the day, which consisted of turning on the hose in the backyard and watering the cucs, green peppers, ficus, and flowers on the deck and in a decorative wheelbarrel. Then I put the hose back, went to the front of the house, turned on that hose and watered about 3 pots of flowers. Then I sprayed some water on my car to get some bird poop of that and I'm finished for the day! Must not overdo it!!!

Oh wait! I did 4 loads of laundry and paid the IRS and NJ State Tax guys for DH. I'm about to make a big pan of lasagna for dinner tonight.

How pathetic am I compared to BJ? She has probably taken 4 girls to 4 different events. Stopped for coffee at a Starbucks. Weeded 3 acres of gardens. Vacuumed her house twice. Baked and cooked for a dinner party for 8. Built a shed......AND exercised for about 2 hours. And she's 3 hours behind me! Is that about right, BJ? lol!

John, hope your weekend is going well for you. I've been thinking a lot about you this week.

Gretchen, Joanne, Patti and Dave, Amy, Jen....let us know you are all OK.

Take care eat healthy, and NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

    Bookmark   September 10, 2005 at 1:19PM
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Can't talk right now-----Am vacumming neighbor's entire house (already vacuumed mine) while working on a way to stop hurricane over-usage on the United States coastline.
Luckily, I have already had the director of FEMA removed since he didn't live up to my (or anyone else's) expectations here in our country.

Tomorrow: a solution for World Peace situation, plus removing that awful stain from the entry-way after I had to make something I did look like an accident. (SHHHHHHH)

Back later....

    Bookmark   September 10, 2005 at 2:56PM
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We just got back from seeing "Sky High" with the kids----a movie with Kurt Russell, Lynda Carter, etc about a superhero high school. Pretty good!!!---I'm for sure getting the soundtrack. It's all 80's hits redone really well.

Strained my back today, lifting my neighbors truck up onto some cement blocks so he could work on it. A woman's work is NEVER done!

Tonight, I'm watching an episode or 2 of the 3rd Season of "6 Feet Under". Gotta buy Season 4 at Costco this week.

And QOD from Marci: We're having a coin drive at elementary school for Katrina and a money drive at the high school for Katrina. My older girls are really into the one at high school because if the kids raise $10K, they get to have off-campus lunch for a week. They raised $3K for the tsunami victims last year. DH's work is having a large fund raiser for Red Cross. The firefighters here are all out at various locations, asking the public to fill their fire boots with dollars and change. Disasters do sew the country together---that's the bright side.


    Bookmark   September 10, 2005 at 9:04PM
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Just checking in to see the progress BJ has made on World Peace hehehe.

BJ - how is your back today? That is a big shout to you to SLOW DOWN...

I went food shopping this morning and am going to finish vacuuming the house, take the dog for a walk and then off to a party - a local luncheonette type place has a end of the year party with a band and lots of good food.

Dee - I sent another email, with some driving tips.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2005 at 1:03PM
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Hi Guys,

Glad to see some checkin' in over the weekend. Raeanne, I was just kidding about lifting my neighbor's truck----after seing that Super Hero movie, I thought I'd throw that in.....for grins......

I am SLOW today. A few loads of laundry, moving a shelf to organize my kids' stuff, went to Border's to use a coupon before it expired and then went to Petco to get some live plants for my aquarium. I'm converting to a cold water tank, so I'm decorating it in anticipation of some fancy goldfish arriving Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm so excited! And I got this week's worth of grocery shopping done----YUM!

This evening is the yearly neighborhood gathering party, so I gotta haul my grill over there soon and fire up the charcoal!

All for today!

    Bookmark   September 11, 2005 at 5:38PM
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BJ - ROFLMAO - I read so quickly that I thought you lifted cement blocks from a truck and that wouldn't surprise me at all LOL. :) I'm happy you are in one piece.

Well, we ended up going to 2 parties. I forgot that there was a memorial party for a popular 20 year old boy that died in a motorcycle accident, so we ended up going to that one too. It was a beautiful event that the proceeds will go to a scholarship in his behalf.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2005 at 7:12PM
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