Don't I need to write a thank you note?

ilovepinkMay 1, 2008

My in-laws brought gifts over last night from their friends to our baby. My mother in law has opened everything and I'm really not certain who gave what. She said she already had written a note.

I feel like I need to. Don't I?

Also, what do I do now that I am not clear on who gave which gift. I asked my in-laws who certain things were from but my mother in law never answered me.

I know you all are going to think I'm being ridiculous but I feel like she should not have opened the gifts since they were for the baby. But, also she could have at least made certain she kept the cards with the correct gifts.

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suzieque

I certainly don't think you're being ridculous - I think you're right on.

And yes, I believe that you should write a note. If I had given a gift to my friend for her grandchild, I would like to get a note from the mother of the child thanking me.

Could you stress to her that you're going to send notes, and it is very important for you to know who gave what? Could she possibly object to you being polite?

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 1:38PM
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lindac

Sorry....I can see the scenario....your MIL has been talking non stop about the new grandchild...to these friends you don't know....so they brought over gifts to her for her new grandchild.....theyw eren't thinking of you at all, these were gifts for her grandchild. And, naturally they wanted to see her reaction to the wonderful things they brought, so told her to open them, and she did. Then of course brought them to you.
She thanked the giver, because of course they were really for her grand child, and thinks that's all that's necessary.
But if it were me, I would write them a note saying how thoughtful they were to send a gift, and mention how thrilled Grandma was and delighted when she bropught them over.
I am sure they won't expect a thank you....but it's the nice thing to do....and don't worry about who sent what, just mention a baby gift.
And remember.....these were first of all gifts for your inlaw's new grand child, not necessarily your baby.

Linda C

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 2:11PM
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suzieque

Very good points, Linda.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 2:13PM
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chase_gw

Hard to say if she should or should not have opened them.

If her friends were giving her a bit of a "nana" shower then of course she should have opened them. Are these people that are close to you and were just using her as a delivery service ? If so then the thank you should come from you.

My sense is that these are her friends honouring her on the arrival of her grand baby. In that case it's fine she opened them and it's proper that she thanked them.

None the less it is proper that you also thank these people for the gifts. Just get the names and send a generic "Thank You" for being so kind as to think of our baby and for being such good friends to "nana"

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 2:19PM
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teacats

Excellent points above -- the givers may have simply wanted to see her reaction to the baby gifts ..... and yes! she should have kept track of the gifts .... and gifters .......

BUT yes! do send along a nice note (if you/she can't figure out the exact gift-gifter then send along general notes to each participant!) -- and send it via your MIL ......

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 2:33PM
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ilovepink

Lindac these are people I know. In fact one of them is the person my mother in law gave a tour of our house to. LOL

I think a note would be nice to send too. It's just so frustrating because I don't want to send a note thanking for the wrong gift. Or forgetting something to mention.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 4:49PM
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sherrmann

Don't look for trouble with your MIL, pink. Thank the givers in general terms and forget it.

I know how easy it is to find fault with everything a person does once you start looking, but you'll have a happier life if you can close your eyes and smile.

Sherry

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 6:31PM
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carla35

Do as Linda suggested... you don't have to mention the specific gift. Thank them for thinking of you and your child and how thoughtful they were for sending something. Switch the subject to the baby and then thank them in general again. Keep the note vague. You could even send them a birth announcement with a "thank you" note added to it.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 7:26PM
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ilovepink

Oh my gosh. You should see how I figured this out. One gift had an envelope that said 'receipt' on it. I matched that handwriting to a card. Or at least I think I did. The receipt showed the gift.

Then there was a blanket with a tag on it made by someone. I finally was able to figure out it was someones mother that made it.

Finally I have them done! Thank goodness.

I can't rest easily when I have a thank you note to write. It worries me!

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 9:33PM
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marge727

when in doubt I always make my thank you notes pretty general about the gift but specific about the sender. For instance, who would complain about a note that says you are a special lady, with wonderful taste and we appreciate the gift you sent for little timmy. A thank you note that incorrectly mentions which gift it is seems to be more noticeable. Carla's idea is wonderful also.
While I can see your side of it pink--it looks like your MIL is thrilled to be a gramma and wants to do things for you and the grandbaby. She may know you resent things about her, and is choosing to be pleasant anyhow. I wouldn't rock that boat. She may be the lady who will come over and babysit so you can get out of the house and get your hair done one day, or the one who helps pay for Timmy's college.

    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 8:32PM
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