How much to give for First Communion

SoupyApril 30, 2002

A good friend of mine is having a First Communion party for his son. They're sharing the party with his nephew who is celebrating his First Communion as well. They are doing the inviting separately for the party. We're not sure how much to give my son's friend. We would also like to give his nephew something too as we know his parents. Any suggestions?

Thx for the help.

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MsMagnolia

I've always bought a gift, have never given money. I usually get a crucifix, a bible, or a religious metal. There are many items for any age at most religious stores, or religious book stores.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2002 at 11:58PM
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lindac

I gave my grand son a pair of in line skates.....but....that's me!
A nice silver chain with a cross.....like the kids are wearing would be great!
Linda C

    Bookmark   May 1, 2002 at 12:05AM
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MaryF

I agree with a cross or a medal. Or if they have a patron saint you could get something with their patron on it such as a plaque, prayer, etc. A small crucifix to hang in their bedroom is also nice.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2002 at 12:01PM
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chase_gw

Boys are a bit tougher to buy for than girls but I wouldn't give cash for an occasion such as this.

Most kids aren't really going to appreciate the gifts they get at First Communion now, but they will someday. For the boy that is your dear friends son I would get a crucifix for the last rites or a proper family bible, these are wonderful family treasures that can be passed down over the years. For the other boy a would get a small room crucifix or a regular bible.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2002 at 2:26PM
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hilltop_gw

When we do the money thing we give $10-20 dollars. As far as alternate gift choices, my son received a nice set of bookends with a scripture reference and also a wooden wall shelf with pegs that had a scripture reference. For my nephew we gave him a motivational plaque along with bag of jelly beans then a with small bottle with the jelly bean prayer (label tells what each color reminds of, ie white-purity, red-blood that was shed, etc.).

    Bookmark   May 10, 2002 at 10:24PM
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eileen_launonen

Soupy..I see your from Jersey...I sugges not to give a gift like the ones mentioned usually the jewlery comes from Godparents, bibles and other things of this nature are usually given from immediate family. Now this is just me but a good friend best friends kid get 100.00 cash done in already and thats what we do. As for the other child 25.00 is good! I know to some this seems extreme but up here in the North you cant put less than 250.00 in a wedding envelope anymore and dont even think about giving a gift unless you want to be talked about forever! I remember going to a wedding in California the New Yorkers were easily spotted they were the only ones with envelopes the rest had gifts..we had never seen this before...although I wish I could give a set of glasses and save the doe LOL

    Bookmark   May 27, 2002 at 9:09PM
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Teeker

$100 for a 7 year old? There is no way!

Personally I'd call his mom and ask her what he likes and then buy him a spectacular book on the subject--something he is not likely to just pick up at the mall. The keeper kind, with a lovely inscription from your family. The other boy could receive a somewhat less expensive but equally personal volume.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 10:18PM
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caliloo

I also give money rather than medals, plaques, or other chatchkas. I mean really - does the mom need more stuff to dust? The $ can easily go into a college fund or other savings for the kid to use later.

$50 for the close friends son and $20 for the nephew would be appropriate IMHO.

Alexa

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 4:15PM
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cookingrvc

Eileen and I are from the same neck of the woods and I am in agreement with her.. For a dear friend's son, I would steer away form medals and such as they are usually given by family members.

I typically give a bond. In this case $200.00 worth of Series E bonds is a nice gift for $100.00 and will be mature by the time they're ready for college.

For those who think $100.00 is too much to spend, buy one $100.00 bond for $50.00.

Again, gift types and amounts are very regional, although for NJ, this shouldn't be off the mark.

As for the firend, perhaps one of those Mall gift certificates (we have Simon here) for $25.00 is nice. Or, just give him ethe cash and a nice card.

Hope this helps,

Sue

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 11:20PM
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Busybody_T

A nice crisp $20. I usually pick up a stack from the bank at graduation time. (kids seem to never cash the checks).

    Bookmark   May 31, 2002 at 10:14PM
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eileen_launonen

Sue as usual were on the same page i guess it a NEW YAWK DING!! LOL

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 10:02PM
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dixie_guy

I don't know about others, but I really HATE giving gifts out of some sense of obligation. However, in polite society, we are sometimes called to do just that...not all presents can come simply from the heart (as they should). How about a good (not extravagant) rosary for each boy with a nice card in which you have written "In honor of your first Holy Communion, a donation has been made to __________(fill in the name of a favorite children's charity)" Personally, I think some occasions lend themselves nicely to teaching children about charitable giving and the importance of thinking of those less fortunate.

    Bookmark   August 24, 2002 at 4:52AM
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nancyromeo_msn_com

Thank you, Eileen and Sue! I may not be from New Yawk, but I am a Joisey Girl and needed an actual dollar amount! I wish it was more like other areas of the country - for weddings, too! Wouldn't that be nice!

    Bookmark   May 5, 2006 at 5:23PM
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neil_he4t

I hate to be the hated here, but I think I will have to agree with Eileen here. After all, this is not some casual birthday party, and even if it was, I don't think I would give $20, comes across a little cheap. Perhaps from an older person like a grandfather, this would seem acceptable, but I think $20 is low balling it for any average event. Now if you're telling me this is a big occasion like a Baptism, First Communion, or Confirmation, I think the only crisp bill that should be in there is $50 minimum, and that's for your friend's kid, not an immediate family member like a niece or nephew.

I am Godfather to my friend's son, and I gave $200 worth, $100 bill plus a cross & chain worth $100. When it was my niece's baptism, I gave $200 or $250. My cash gifts for both was with the intention that it would go towards her education fund. Another person here had a good idea which is similar to the education fund, bonds...

I agree with what I think someone said above, stuff like chains, crosses, plaques should be reserved for the Godparents. As for the others, the best advice is to give money which would go into an RESP or whatever you call your savings plans for an education fund...

And like Eileen said (which I will increase), $250 to $350 is the going rate these days for a wedding gift (to cover your plate plus a little extra as a gift) , so I would have to say $50-$200 would be the rate for other big monumental events, depending on who's kid it is...

Also keep in mind on where the event is being held. Don't expect to give $20 if after the Baptism, First Communion or Confirmation, you are heading to some posh restaurant for the celebration, or heading back to the person's house for a catered meal...the unwritten rule of thumb is to cover your plate, plus a little extra as a gift....

But of course, you do what is in your means, that is what counts in the end...

Sometimes for birthdays, it is better to buy something that might come across as more expensive, like a hot toy that you might only pay $20 for. In that case, the toy might be enjoyed more by the child than the $20 in a card...

My .02, take it or leave it....

    Bookmark   May 9, 2006 at 6:32PM
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knowbilly_verizon_net

I found a piggy bank of Jesus and on the bottom it says Jesus Saves. I think it was $20.00 and I got a roll of quarters to start it off. It's always a big hit, not only to the kids, but the parents too.

    Bookmark   April 25, 2011 at 11:30AM
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jill_t1981_yahoo_com

I'm in the same boat here, my best friend's (we've been like sisters since the age of 2)daughter is having her first communion the middle of next month. I have NO idea what to give to her. I'm not a godparent to either of her daughters, and I'm obviously not immediate family, however, I was there when both of them were born, and they know me and my husband as "Aunty Jill and Uncle Josh". What's the protocol in our situation?

    Bookmark   April 29, 2011 at 9:23AM
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IJP71

My daughter just had a First Communion and she got mainly money. She got a beautiful cross with small diamonds and lovely earrings from both sets of Grandparents. She will truly appreciate the gift when she will grow up. This gift will always remind her of her Grandparents. She also received a check for $20.00 from her Godmothercan you go any cheaper? ReallyShe clearly has no financial problems at allat least; if she had I would fully understand and was very appreciative for anything or even just for being there This is the money for my daughter not for us. She has her own bank account where we put all the monetary giftsfor the future. For all Godmothers searching for a gift ideas please DONT give a $20.00 check. Buy a beautiful bible or other religious gift, so it has a meaning, and if you choose to give money give at least a $100.
Anybody has any idea, how politely I could get the info about my disappointment to her? Im ready to post an advice for Communion gifts on my Facebook wall

    Bookmark   May 10, 2011 at 3:42PM
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gellchom

Are you serious? You are looking for a polite way to tell your child's godmother (presumably your relative or friend) that her gift was cheap?

Let's see -- how would Jesus do it?

Why don't you just send her an invoice for $80? After all, you seem to see this as a business transaction.

But there is a lot to be said for your idea of a passive-aggressive Facebook post on godparent gifts. No one could possibly see through that.

I'm not Catholic, but I suspect that this attitude is not exactly consonant with the meaning of a First Communion. Maybe the godmother should have been more generous, and I happen to agree that if she wanted to spend that amount, a necklace or Bible or something would have been a better idea than cash, but that is her bad karma (not to mix religions here). Please get over your disappointment and act like a lady.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2011 at 4:45PM
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IJP71

No, Im not serious, Gellchom. Im aware that any type of Facebook post would be inappropriate and disturbing, no doubtMy comment/question was for venting purpose only.
Well I dont think of communion gift as financial transaction but surely Im following the unwritten rules of gifting for a big occasions such as christening, communion and weddingsSpeaking about meanings of religious celebrations, Im curious what is your opinion on wedding gifts, after all, this is a religious celebration as well and people expect/demand pricy gifts
Dont worry, I will get over my disappointment. I do have better things to in my life

    Bookmark   May 11, 2011 at 2:14PM
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gellchom

I would find it just as disgusting to "demand" a pricey gift -- or anything else -- for a wedding as for any other occasion, and just as off-putting to hear a bridal couple whose expectations were not met griping about their guests being cheap.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2011 at 2:20PM
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IJP71

Gellchom, thank you for expressing your personal opinion...

    Bookmark   May 11, 2011 at 2:48PM
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gellchom

I apologize, IJP71 -- I honestly thought that's what you wanted me to do. I took your question, "Speaking about meanings of religious celebrations, I'm curious what is your opinion on wedding gifts," at face value. Sorry.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2011 at 9:26PM
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IJP71

Great, thanks.

    Bookmark   May 12, 2011 at 3:04PM
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acb11768_comcast_net

JERSEY IN THE HOUSE!
If your dealing with "gumba's" , and I'm sure some of you northern folk know what I'm talking about, the "busta" is very important. $100 per head is a minimum at a communion party.

    Bookmark   May 14, 2011 at 9:48AM
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suzieque

IJP71, I find your attitude much more offensive than the Godmother giving $20. Did you even try to think about it? Perhaps, for example, the Godmother isn't familiar with the tradition (I am a Godmother but not Catholic, and really would have to ask advice about what to do). Or, perhaps she is disappointed in you in some way or doesn't feel particularly close to the child, or something or other. Maybe none of those. Maybe she just is not clued in. But your attitude about it is awful.

Expecting/demanding pricy gifts? Hmmmm...in my circle of friends and family that I choose to surround myself with, that's not the case. Perhaps you're running in the wrong circles.

Oh - by the way - that's my personal opinion. I guess you're really not looking for personal opinions, but rather agreement with your stance. Sorry.

    Bookmark   May 15, 2011 at 10:16AM
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appage21

there were a lot of good suggestions here but it all comes down to whatever you are comfortable with. im sure whoever you are giving the gift to will appreciate the thought more than the price tag

    Bookmark   May 22, 2011 at 2:06PM
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JennyLooms

My son is receiving his First Holy Communion tomorrow.

To be honest, we don't really care about the gifts and/or money nor my son. The most important thing to us is that our dear Godparents, Family and friends will be there to witness he sacrament. It truly is a blessed day. If you are insisting to get a gift here is a tip. We are very much in love with our God and our church, so gifts that represent our Lord are always very welcome, however some families actually just have 1st Communion to have that sacrament to their children and never go back to church.

My son loves receiving Holy Gifts, the have children's books, toys, keepsakes and so much more.

I would say that Godparents usually give a nice religious gift in remembrance of this special day, as well as family. Friends, I am happy with a card for myself, but if giving to someone on their day, I would say $20 would be fine, but base it on your budget and what your heart wants to give or if you have a store near you that sells Christine items then I am sure you could find some fun stuff for him/her.

Remember this is a very special day and he/she will love whatever you may give them for remembrance of their sacrament.

Tip, if you are buying passages and are Catholic, be sure you are buying a Catholic approved items, Catholic bibles are marked as being approved by Diocese.

Here is a link that might be useful: jennylooms

    Bookmark   April 12, 2013 at 11:18AM
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madeline2612

hey ive been invited to my uncles sons communion. My bf and i are a young couple who have a year old daughter. my bf has recently been laid off waiting for the job to pick up. I have mentioned to my aunt that he has been laid off and i come from a traditional portuguese family. it is frowned upon to not give 100 for an occasion like this one. I cannot afford that and dont really want to give her that since she didnt even show up to my daughters first birthday or come to see her the 5 months she spent at the hospital. my aunt had the nerve to tell me as long as i payed for my plate i didnt have to give her son any extra cash. would it be rude to completely disregard her and give my cousin a gift certificate to a place he loves?

    Bookmark   April 18, 2013 at 1:04AM
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madeline2612

hey ive been invited to my uncles sons communion. My bf and i are a young couple who have a year old daughter. my bf has recently been laid off waiting for the job to pick up. I have mentioned to my aunt that he has been laid off and i come from a traditional portuguese family. it is frowned upon to not give 100 for an occasion like this one. I cannot afford that and dont really want to give her that since she didnt even show up to my daughters first birthday or come to see her the 5 months she spent at the hospital. my aunt had the nerve to tell me as long as i payed for my plate i didnt have to give her son any extra cash. would it be rude to completely disregard her and give my cousin a gift certificate to a place he loves?

    Bookmark   April 18, 2013 at 1:05AM
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gigi7

Our oldest grandson received his First Holy Communion in May...my MIL gave him $50. Instead of either spending it with a little guidance or saving it (wow, what a novel concept...but you can't really expect a 7-yr old to save that much money, I guess), his mom let him buy plastic knives and a couple of play guns, and super hero toys. Just struck me as kind of inappropriate for the occasion, in this case...especially since the money was from his great-grandmother. Made me sad, really....just another something to find at the bottom of a toy box in a month or two.....sigh....and yes, I'm sure many of you will disagree with me, but First Holy Communion is a big deal!

    Bookmark   July 11, 2013 at 1:25PM
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