Opening wine dinner 'gift'

wantoretire_didMarch 13, 2009

DH and I are having a "discussion". We are back and forth for casual dinners with a couple (friends/neighbors). We go back and forth with bottles of wine (not fancy). Last week I had opened a bottle of Merlot for dinner. They came with a Merlot (different brand). Both were just run of the mill OK Merlots. During dinner, he (guest) asked to open the bottle they had brought, even tho, as his wife pointed out, we had a bottle opened already, he insisted.

SO, I say he was just a little pushy since we had plenty of Merlot open. DH said it was OK. We aren't talking special wines here, just protocol.

Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but in the interest of world peace, what are your thoughts??

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lindac

Not a biggie.....let it go, don't give it a second thought...
Maybe he liked his merlot better than yours, maybe he felt that his gift should be used and not stashed.....who knows...
Why are you giving it a second thought? To me it sounds like a good excuse to drink more wine.
Linda C

    Bookmark   March 13, 2009 at 9:02PM
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nancylouise_gw

Should he have insisted that the bottle be opened...no, it was a gift to you and your husband. He doesn't get to say when to use your "gift". He was wrong to do so. But, like in the grand scheme of things as you said it's not a big deal. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   March 14, 2009 at 8:28AM
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mitchdesj

why not give it a second thought ? these forums are here for that purpose !!! the OP said there was plenty of wine already open. I think the OP has a valid point, and I agree that the guest was pushy in wanting to open "his" bottle.

It depends if you bring your wine as a contribution or as a hostess gift; if I'm handed a bottle as a gift, usually at the door, they'll say: "here, this is for you" I do not open it that night or feel that I have to. My wine is always planned for the evening, and I make sure I have enough of the same one to bring us through dinner.

    Bookmark   March 14, 2009 at 8:32AM
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lindac

BUT....the OP already said they are back and forth for dinner with bottles of wine....so this takes it out of the "hostess gift" realm.
I suspect he wanted to taste the 2 wines side by side or liked the wine he brought better. Or maybe he didn't like the wine he brought at all and wanted to be sure you didn't return it to his house the next time you came. LOL! Did you ask why he wanted to open the wine?
If they are good friends, I sure would ignore it.
sometimes people make too much of a small action and feelings get hurt.
Perhaps he went home and asked his wife " didn't you think it was odd they they didn't want to open the wine we brought? I mean after all....one bottle of wine for 4 people? That's only enough for one glass each".....and that would be my line of thinking. One bottle of wine...750 ml, is not enough for 4 people.
Linda C

    Bookmark   March 14, 2009 at 10:31AM
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carla35

Personally, I would not have opened another bottle of Merlot until the first bottle was finshed off. Plus, it was your house, you get to decide what wines get open when. Maybe you had a dessert wine planned, etc... It's like someone opening a 2 liter of Pepsi when you already have a 2 liter of Coke opened.

It's not the end of the world... but, really, why do it? And, especially why do it at someone else's house? If he wants to taste test Merlots, let him do it at his house. Quit honestly, it kind of sounds like he was insulting your Merlot.

    Bookmark   March 15, 2009 at 12:52AM
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wantoretire_did

My original post was more of a puzzlement than anything else. Certainly not "hurt feelings". I tend to jump on this forum when I need objective opinions.

I also had white wine so there was plenty more than just the one bottle "-) Never let it be said...............

    Bookmark   March 15, 2009 at 3:55AM
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lindac

"plenty more than just the one bottle "-) Never let it be said............... "
Aha So you are one of those people eh? LOL!
The only logical reason I can think of is that he wanted to taste the 2 side by side?...Or perhaps he wanted to be sure that there was a reason to finish up 2 bottles?

And for the record, his manner may have been a bit pushy....but...when it's friends we ignore such stuff.
Linda C

    Bookmark   March 15, 2009 at 10:00AM
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lowspark

I agree that it was pushy for him to ask you to open his bottle. He must have had his reasons, even if he didn't share them, but who knows what they were. As you pointed out, even his wife didn't get why.

In your place, I would have just gone ahead and opened it and not worried about it. What the heck... you can always drink the leftovers the next night or cook with it if you're against drinking day old wine.

And next time they come over, just wait and don't open any wine till after they've arrived, then you can open their bottle.

When you go to their house, do they open theirs, or the one you brought, or both?

    Bookmark   March 16, 2009 at 10:05AM
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eandhl

Next time they come to your house for dinner I would plan on having the brand he insisted on opening. Also plan to buy the brand when you go to his house. I really like some Merlot's and do not like others though I would never ask nor expect a host/hostess to open my offering. I just wouldn't have a second glass of wine.

    Bookmark   March 19, 2009 at 11:56AM
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dlynn2

I'm not commenting on the OP's question, but rather on a comment by Carla -- "It's like someone opening a 2 liter of Pepsi when you already have a 2 liter of Coke opened."

I disagree with this. It's not at all like Coke and Pepsi. As Linda has pointed out, the guest may have just wanted to compare the two Merlots side by side (as in typical wine tastings). Most everyone has tried both Pepsi and Coke before and would have no need to try the two of them side by side.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2009 at 3:55AM
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carla35

But it didn't sound to me like he was tasting both... and it wasn't a wine tasting. The poster never mention him comparing wines.

It sounded to me that he really did just open and drink the Merlot that he preferred.... You're reading someone elses "possible" assumptions/jokes about wine tasting into the poster's given facts.

    Bookmark   March 31, 2009 at 12:36PM
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LAS23

I think it was a bit pushy to open another bottle when one was open, especially when its not your house. But, if they are good friends then there is a differnt comfort level so he may have really liked the one he brought. Maybe he didn't see it as a 'hostess gift' but more of 'I brought my own'. I once had a person come to dinner and when we didn't open the wine she brought she said "you don't mind if I take this home since we didn't need it tonight....?"

    Bookmark   May 1, 2009 at 6:18PM
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mitchdesj

las23, I guess she goes around with the same bottle of wine,
it doesn't dawn on her that her bottle can replace what was consumed.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2009 at 6:21AM
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