Baby Shower Etiquette
Here I am with a DIL/baby shower problem. My DIL is having 2 showers, both given by friends. I was invited to both, even though I can't come, as they're far away from here. I'm delighted, though, and am sending gifts so that I'll be there in spirit anyway. Here's the issue. I have regretted to both showers, and told my DIL that I'd be sending gifts anyhow. I mentioned that one of the gifts in the first package is handmade, although not by me, and how much fun I'd had shopping to get things ready. She e-mailed back "Did you even look at my baby registry before you shopped?" Actually, I had, but the assortment of onesies, diaper genies, baby monitors, didn't appeal to me, so I bought the handmade sweater, 2 bibs with baseballs, one says "I love my mommy" the other "I love my daddy", a sweet blue infant teddy bear and a copy of Goodnight Moon. My DIL implied that since I mentioned I wanted to buy an important gift, that she needed to know what it was so that her sisters could decide on big gifts to give at the shower. I told her that I would send her a check for $300 (did it yesterday) and she could select what she wanted. My questions are...you need so much for a baby, is it imperative that I follow the registry? Also, is it proper to show up at a shower with a gift costing several hundred dollars, no matter how closely related you are, when everyone else has a $25 gift? I've been at showers where the mother of the mom-to- be showered her with major gifts and it made me uncomfortable. Last question...I still haven't purchased for the second shower. I was going to give a china Peter Rabbit cup, bowl and plate set, but maybe I should modify my gifts. I just feel sad, because I've had so much fun buying things I think I'd like for a new baby boy, and now I feel as though I'm being told what to buy. I might add that our DS and DIL are not poor by any means...they make more money than my husband and I do!