Lakehouse episode finale

amyfiddlerJanuary 13, 2008

For anyone interested -

Had a meeting last night scheduled for both couples. Dh and I showed, the other husband showed, wife did not.

He apologized for depending on his wife to take care of finances, said he's embarrassed for how it has gone, wished we had hounded him earlier when payments weren't coming in, and we now have an agreement that we will work with him instead of with her for financial purposes. He is handing over a year's worth of payments to us to cover what's missing from last year and to get us through the next half year -

I was able to clearly state my concerns without anger because I worked out all those feelings beforetime. It helped to talk it out here first.

The wife still is embarrassed and hiding out. I imagine that in order to cope, she is finding ways to be angry at me, but that's neither here nor there. I let the husband know that if there is anything we can to to re-engage the wife, to let us know - I'd ask her directly but she won't get out of bed to answer my calls or knocks or emails.

Bottom line, we now have a new plan in place where he will be responsible for the finances. He recognizes that he is equally responsible for this fiasco, and stated so.

So... I'm no longer upset at all. Cautious, yes, but not upset. Talking through things between parties quiets a lot of angst - when one party avoids the other, it makes it hard, and I admit we pussy footed around their resistance for fear of their reaction. Wrong thing to do - we should have forced this conversation much earlier. Live and learn.

Now I need to send that boy a wedding gift. Still regret I didn't go - the actual point of my original post.

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sue36

I am glad it worked out. But how are you going to share a house with them (well, her) after this?

    Bookmark   January 13, 2008 at 7:18PM
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lindac

Amy...I am so sorry...your friend sounds like she has lots of "issues" both with you and perhaps now with her husband.
Glad you got the matter of the house settled without a law suit...but sorry she's avoiding you.
I had a friend who did that once...for more than a year, because she thought I told someone about the birth of her grandson before she got to, when indeed it was someone else who spread the word. One day she just appeared at my door asking if I had a cup of tea and a cookie.
Hope your friend comes around too.
Linda C

    Bookmark   January 13, 2008 at 7:50PM
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dockside_gw

I've read all the prior postings and am quite alarmed at the naivety of all parties involved. So, you are friends and go to the same church and trust each other. Great. But, there is no contract that can be enforced as real estate contracts MUST be in writing. However, it's the other couple that really is at risk since they are giving money and would have virtually no chance of getting any of it back if disagreements arose.

Before you go any further, for the sake of your friendship, if nothing else, go to a real estate lawyer and get everything in writing. The lawyer may advise you to put them on the deed. There's just too many pitfalls, waiting to happen. Please do it. I'm a retired lawyer and I've seen too much of this sort of thing where people think they know what they are doing and have verbal agreements. Real estate should never be left to a verbal agreement.

Please, see a lawyer and get everything in writing and in the open. Any disagreement would end up in court and tie up the property, making it unsaleable. I could go on and on about possible problems. So, avoid them and get this taken care of legally. You'll all feel much better about things.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2008 at 1:13AM
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mitchdesj

thanks for the update; I still think you need a more formal agreement but this first step is a great one.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2008 at 6:50AM
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amyfiddler

Legality in the works, thanks all -

    Bookmark   January 16, 2008 at 11:32AM
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marge727

Actually Amy I would think an attorney would suggest that the way things have been going maybe you should buy them out. If they stop paying in the future and they are on the deed then you have a real problem. The best predicter of how people handle their finances is how they have handled them in the past. This house is not a necessity, its a luxury at least for them.
Even tho I am an attorney I would not suggest that you rush to put their name on the property. You certainly do need an agreement, but maybe the agreement would provide for putting their name on if certain things happen timely. The difference between everybody else's opinion and mine is that I have had to handle the lawsuits where there are two names on a deed and things go wrong. Thats a surprisingly expensive lawsuit. So be sure and ask your attorney what happens if they stop paying and their name is on the deed.

    Bookmark   January 20, 2008 at 3:18AM
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lucyny

This statement:
"The best predicter of how people handle their finances is how they have handled them in the past." very true. However, as a lawyer it seems a strange comment that you suggest the other investor's name not be legal deeded.

From Amy's comments herself, it's a luxury for her too. So much so, that she needed an investor to get into this lake house in the first place. Easily, tables could turn. What happens if in time Amy can't make the payments, what then happens to the other couple?

Seems that much of this situation could have been avoided, but failure of seeking legal advise from the get-go, & lack of communication in this situation, has created the problems that have recently visited Amy.

In my opinion, they've both invested, & both should be the listed as the rightful owners, legally. Both parties need to be protected, not just one.

    Bookmark   January 20, 2008 at 6:48AM
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marge727

Lucy,First of all, the other party isn't asking to have their name added. I look at that first, because most people do want their name on title. Are there reasons people do not want their names on a property? Maybe...
they owe taxes
they owe child support
they have liens against them
they know they cannot afford the payments
All of those above items and some others could be the problem, and most people do not want to advertise those problems. I recently had a client who did not want to take title to property they inherited--I could not imagine why. Good job--seemed solvent to me. Turned out he owed taxes from years ago; he was trying to work something out, and was very embarrassed to have to mention it.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2008 at 12:45AM
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