Lakehouse episode finale
For anyone interested -
Had a meeting last night scheduled for both couples. Dh and I showed, the other husband showed, wife did not.
He apologized for depending on his wife to take care of finances, said he's embarrassed for how it has gone, wished we had hounded him earlier when payments weren't coming in, and we now have an agreement that we will work with him instead of with her for financial purposes. He is handing over a year's worth of payments to us to cover what's missing from last year and to get us through the next half year -
I was able to clearly state my concerns without anger because I worked out all those feelings beforetime. It helped to talk it out here first.
The wife still is embarrassed and hiding out. I imagine that in order to cope, she is finding ways to be angry at me, but that's neither here nor there. I let the husband know that if there is anything we can to to re-engage the wife, to let us know - I'd ask her directly but she won't get out of bed to answer my calls or knocks or emails.
Bottom line, we now have a new plan in place where he will be responsible for the finances. He recognizes that he is equally responsible for this fiasco, and stated so.
So... I'm no longer upset at all. Cautious, yes, but not upset. Talking through things between parties quiets a lot of angst - when one party avoids the other, it makes it hard, and I admit we pussy footed around their resistance for fear of their reaction. Wrong thing to do - we should have forced this conversation much earlier. Live and learn.
Now I need to send that boy a wedding gift. Still regret I didn't go - the actual point of my original post.