Baffled Over Guest Bath
DH and I visited relatives over the holidays. They live 500 miles away. They invited us so we could be with extended family for four days after Christmas. This is a family of four Â my SIL and BIL, and two sons, one 16 years old the other 21 years old. The Mom has told us in the past that the hall bath is The BoysÂ Bath, and that she doesnÂt use it. I guess sheÂs given up even going in there. In their two-bath house, this would be the bath guests use, so thatÂs why I am baffled.
What am I to conclude when the bath weÂd be using during our stay has no towels set aside for us, no hand towel, not a washcloth in the house, and no bar soap visible? There is mold around the shower and dirt on the baseboards. The toilet seat is one of those vinyl covered foam rings, and there is a tear exposing the sponge stuffing. The vanity top is cluttered with the assorted toiletries for shaving, dental hygiene, deodorants and contact lense cleaning, so thereÂs no place for even a small ditty bag, let alone clean clothing when youÂve showered. There is one towel bar and no robe hook. There are unpainted drywall patches where the towel bar used to be before this one was wall-mounted. The rest of the house is clean.
Okay, itÂs family, so itÂs fine to ask where we can find towels and soap to use. Done. But what can a guest do about such inhospitable conditions? Since we were sleeping on the floor in the living room, having towels in our room wasnÂt an option. I tried to keep our luggage and belongings clustered in a corner. I felt it wasn't appropriate for me to clean her bathroom.
I should add that we arenÂt talking here about a family of backwoods dropouts. These are educated people with good jobs who live in a contemporary three-bedroom house in a nice neighborhood near a metropolitan area. My SIL works in real estate and is certainly aware of current trends in lifestyle and home design. Our relationships are friendly and we all enjoy each other. Over the past five years, this family of four has spent four different week-long summer vacations visiting our home. WeÂre in similar financial situations (they actually have more discretionary income) with similar style homes, but when they visit us we feed them, make room in our home for them, take them to all the local attractions and sights, and do everything we can think of to make the stay comfortable and fun. The major differences between us are that as a couple, they are 20 years younger, and that my SIL is apparently not a happy woman, whereas DH and I enjoy each other .
IÂd say that the guest bath gives a message to guests, and I feel that the message weÂve been given is "DonÂt come back." I can understand a woman giving up on a family of three men keeping their bathroom clean. I can only assume that if my SIL has girlfriends over, she directs them to her private bath off the master bedroom.
Has anyone else been given this message by family? If...