If you want me to remove my shoes. . .

margaret_garfieldJanuary 18, 2008

If you want me to remove my shoes. . .

your house had better be warm, at least 70 degrees if I'm in stockings.

your floors need to be clean. I hate the feel of grit under my feet and if my socks are dirty when I get home, well, yuck.

you need chairs by your door and room for everyone who enters at the same time. I hate trying to tie my shoes and having my rear sticking in others' areas.

you need a place to store all these shoes so people don't trip over or stand on them.

If you do these things, then I'm happy to take off my shoes even if it makes me look short and spoils my outfit.


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Well, I can satisfy all except the 70 degrees! I just about keel when it's that warm in my house. DH turned it up to 68 the other day and I was woozy. The day of our recent party it just about reached 70 due to the ovens going and all the people, and I was sweating like a triathlete.

I'm going to shut up now, before I start a debate on how warm (or cool) a house should be kept...for the comfort of the homeowners or the guests... ;)

    Bookmark   January 18, 2008 at 4:32PM
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    Bookmark   January 18, 2008 at 8:26PM
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Sue....I see you live in zone 5......wondering if you keep your house cooler than 70 degrees in the summer as well.

    Bookmark   January 18, 2008 at 11:13PM
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Yes, I'm on the border of zones 5/6 in southern Maine. I admit, we keep it really cold when we sleep. Down around 64 in the summer and 55 in the winter. The bedroom is on a separate zone.

I honestly can't remember what we set the AC on the rest of the house in in the summer. I'd guess around 75 when we are home and around 80 when we are not? We generally adjust heat and AC to accomodate guests (most are fine with the summer temp, some like the heat turned up).

I don't think you can compare summer and winter temperatures. If it's 55 outside during the summer I'm freezing, but during the winter 55 outside would seem like a really warm day. It was in the high forties last week and I did my errands with just a long sleeve T-shirt on (well, I wore pants, just no jacket!). Right now the heat is on 65 and I am warm wearing a cotton turtleneck sweater and wool slacks and just thin socks on my feet.

Odd though, I'm always cold at work and the thermometer reads 72. I think I'm near the air return, so there is always cold air rushing by me. I use a space heater.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2008 at 12:21AM
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I would never ask anyone to remove their shoes. But I would NEVER wear heels with metal tips to someone's home either...
And 70 is too warm for me too...67 is fine...if I see someone is shivering, LOL, I will turn it up!! Doc says keep it low, so you don't get all dried out..
I remember years ago there was a very long thread here about the removal of shoes.....

    Bookmark   January 19, 2008 at 4:28PM
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As to the shoes--even with all those conditions, I wouldn't take mine off in someone else's house--2 reasons. One, where I come from it's the height of rudeness to kick off your shoes when visiting (it really is a regional thing and it's really hard to get away from your upbringing) and 2, there's no way on this earth I'm chancing picking up a case of athelete's foot or worse, by walking around barefoot with a bunch of other barefoot people (and before you ask, no I don't go to pools or the beach, ever.)

Temps? My house is about 62 in the winter, and we don't have AC, so in the summer it's generally in the humid 90's.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2008 at 10:31PM
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Your region pales in comparison to the much of the world including Asia, Eastern Europe, parts of the Middle East and Africa, much of Northern Europe and Canada, as well as Alaska and the US Midwest where shoes are not worn in the home for a variety of reasons.

Most people I know wear socks indoors, they don't go barefoot. Are you friendly enough with anyone who has bad hygiene to go over to their house? I know I'm not.

As for the beach and the pool, I have my own so it's not an issue for me.

    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 12:05AM
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Sleepyhollow, don't be so sure (and smug!) about your friendships! What on earth makes you think it's bad hygiene to have a disease? Do "most of the people I know" wear their socks with sandals in the summertime?

I am a professional woman well-known for my attractive wardrobe and nice appearance and I have a raging case of toenail fungus! All ten toes, mind you. My physician and I have tried every remedy known for the last thirteen years (including removal of my toenails) and there has not been one iota of change. I certainly don't want any one else to catch it, so my feet are always covered. And my husband and physician are the only persons who know of my condition. It's not exactly a topic of conversation, you know.

I was chuckling at these threads until now.


    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 10:06AM
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With all this talk about foot problems being the reason some people don't want to remove their shoes, did you ever stop to think that that's the reason for your foot problems? Your feet need to breathe!!

As for toenail fungus, these infections usually develop on nails continually exposed to warm, moist environments, such as sweaty shoes or shower floors. Nail fungus isn't the same as athlete's foot, which primarily affects the skin of the feet, but at times the two may coexist and can be caused by the same type of fungus.

sherrman - sorry to hear that nothing has worked for you yet. While there's no direct evidence that a vinegar soak can cure nail fungus, some studies have shown that it can inhibit the growth of certain bacteria. Experts suggest soaking your feet for 15 to 20 minutes in a mixture of 1 part vinegar to 2 parts warm water. Be sure to rinse well and pat your feet dry when you're done. In your case, you do have to wear shoes in public places. They say to take them off now and then so your feet don't sweat, and to opt for open-toe shoes.

    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 11:45AM
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"Are you friendly enough with anyone who has bad hygiene to go over to their house? I know I'm not."

Wow! From someone who has a shoes off policy -

Sorry Sleepy, it is such an attitude that keeps me firm in my place of "shoes optional - people before stuff"

    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 12:33PM
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Of course, feet need to breathe. I don't wear shoes and socks to bed, nor do I wear them during the summertime when I'm home alone. I have never had a pair of shoes that wasn't leather or other natural material. I am meticulous in my hygiene. I went barefoot at home (my home is quite nice and clean) for the first 40 years of my life. Yet I got and still have a recalcitrant case of onychomycosis. If one doesn't suffer from these conditions (sweaty feet, fungal infections, etc.), one cannot know how difficult they are. I've been through the vinegar treatment, the chlorine treatment, the removal treatment, the oral meds treatment. All under a doctor's supervision, and at my own expense, as insurance doesn't cover it!

Sorry, Khandi, I'm not ticked off at you. Your suggestions are worthwhile...I've tried them all! I'm frustrated with my condition, but even more so with narrow-minded people who insist that I take off my shoes. I'm glad I don't know anyone like a certain other poster here. S/he's busy defending her/his position on other threads, too. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that s/he blames acne on the sufferer, either. Bad hygiene, indeed!

Amyfiddler, you said it well. Now that I've had my rant, I'm going back to my cheerful self.


    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 1:07PM
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My MIL has major foot problems and she brings house shoes to my home, or slippers (depending on how casual she wants to be). She would never go barefoot in front of non-immediate family members because of the way her feet look,a and she worried about slipping in socks.

Maybe you could keep a pair of clean soled and smooth soled shoes in the car and when someone asked you to take your shoes off just go the car and get your house shoes? There are a lot of slippers that look like shoes, as well.

    Bookmark   January 21, 2008 at 7:37PM
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I never ask anyone to remove their shoes in my house, but if they want to do it, that is fine. My sister-in-law tells people to remove their shoes and it does not bother me. I prefer people worry about spilling food on the carpet...I can always clean and vaccum any outside dirt after the party. Food and drink stains are not always as easy.

I just hate taking off my shoes if I'm wearing a nice outfit. Why even bother if I'll look dumpy without my high heels (not spiky ones, mind you !!).

    Bookmark   January 24, 2008 at 4:05PM
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You are highly overestimating the effect shoes have on one's appearance. The difference between someone looking dumpy and not dumpy may be attributed to a number of things but lack of high heels isn't one of them.

Being overweight has a significant effect on perceived dumpiness (not to impune you of course) and there is no way high heels are going to fix that. Shoes and makeup get way too much attention for too little effect.

Classy hair, form fitting clothes and appropriate colors/patterns on a fit figure go a lot further than heels and some makeup. I know, no one mentioned makeup but unfortunately too many women don't realize that if someone can tell you are wearing makeup - you are by default wearing too much.

A better plan of action for people concerned about dumpiness may be to forgo the hours of shoe shopping and spend those hours instead doing some form of aerobic exercise. Most guys would rather see fit women who take care of themselves in jeans and a nice shirt than women who spend hours in the store and the bathroom trying to cover up the fact that they don't take care of themselves.

Again, none of this suggests you don't take care of yourself, it just gets tiresome hearing how important those shoes are to keeping women from looking dumpy when really it doesn't amount to a hill of beans to most guys. They might never notice shoes but they will see overweight and remember it. Just some guy observations...

    Bookmark   January 27, 2008 at 7:55AM
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Hi, I am mostly a lurker and participant on other forums, but have read all these "shoes - no shoes" threads and thought I would offer a comment from another perspective.

I moved to North Dakota 12 years ago. When we were initially looking for houses, our real estate agent informed us that we must remove our shoes at each house. I thought this was probably so that carpets would stay clean. Maybe this part is true other places, I don't know. But, after moving here, we very quickly found that the culture here is that shoes are almost always removed in the house.

Now, I happen to enjoy having my shoes off, so that is not an issue for me. What was VERY surprising to me, however, was the first time we had a party at our house and *all* of the guests removed their shoes and piled them in the front hallway - without being asked! It truly is part of the culture here. So much so that many people (myself included) take a pair of heavy wooly socks or slippers with them to other people's homes.

I suspect the tradition arose partly because at this time of year shoes are covered with snowy, icy, muddy, filth. Even a good mat won't remove the grime. In spring shoes are muddy.

I have since been many other places where shoes are removed as a matter of course - many places in Canada this is true, it is true in Hawaii, Asian cultures remove their shoes, etc.

So, at my house I expect people to remove their shoes and I plan for it - my floors are clean, my tile floors are heated and warm, etc. However, I certainly would not insist on it. If someone does not want to remove their shoes, I won't even comment. I will be very unhappy though if they are dirty and make my house dirty.

Anyway, just to note that cultures differ, even in the US.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2008 at 5:00PM
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Oh, and I forgot to add (based on the original post), we do have a bench by the front door specifically for sitting down to put shoes on and off - and so do most people in this part of the country. We also have mats in the front entryway to put the shoes on.

So I think I meet all your criteria, Margaret .

    Bookmark   January 28, 2008 at 5:20PM
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I have no bench and no shoe removal rule in my house..but often people do pull them off once in the door. I often quickly tell them they don't have to take off their shoes..but they choose to.
Has something to do with the look of the floor. LOL It's a light oak laminate..and looks clean even if it's not! We have a dog and 3 boys...that floor is never spotless! Go shoeless at our own risk. LOL

    Bookmark   January 30, 2008 at 12:23AM
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I have bad knees. I am in extreme pain if I go barefoot. Understanding that, when folks come to my home and start taking off their shoes, I kindly tell them that it is a choice and they shouldn't feel obligated.

Similarly when I visit a home that has a shoes off policy, I explain my situation. If they still want shoes off, I comply, and must sit as much as I can, when I would normally be up and helping out. Just my situation.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2008 at 12:05AM
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"it just gets tiresome hearing how important those shoes are to keeping women from looking dumpy when really it doesn't amount to a hill of beans to most guys."

And only a guy would assume that comments made by women about the way they look, and the way they feel about the way they look, are based on what "guys" think.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2008 at 1:24AM
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Similarly when I visit a home that has a shoes off policy, I explain my situation. If they still want shoes off, I comply, and must sit as much as I can, when I would normally be up and helping out.

Even though guests normally remove their shoes at my house, I would be horrified at a host that would insist you do so. And not only because you have bad knees .. what I may not have said the way I meant was this - guests normally remove their shoes at my house and I am prepared for that. However, I don't even ask them to do so. If someone simply leaves their shoes on, fine with me. All I hope is that their shoes are at least somewhat clean!

    Bookmark   February 4, 2008 at 10:16AM
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I'm still trying to envision what the area around a front door must look like when you are having a cockatil buffet for...say 50. Fifty pair of shoes all lying near the door, in the entry way or front hall. Get 50 pair of shoes out of your closet and lay them by the door. Do you pile them up? Or just set the pairs of shoes side by side on the floor? Do couples lay their shoes side by side so they can find them easily when it's time to leave? Or do you put the men's shoes in one spot and the women's in another. And when it's time to leave....do people get their coats and then try to find a place to sit to put on their shoes?
I don't understand how it would work....? I have a bench by my front door as well...and while I don't have a "mat" I have a small Oriental rug. But if 10 people came for dinner there would be an issue finding a place to sit to remove shoes and a place to put them....let alone a party for a larger group.
And...what do you do in the summer? I freequently use my deck for entertaining. People are in and out all evening to get something more to eat, another drink, visit the rest room etc....do you expect them to remove and replace their shoes every time they go in or out? Do they leave their shoes by the front door, or the door to the deck? Sure I sweep the deck, but birds and squirrels have done their thing there and while I try to hose it off every week or so...I sure don't scrub and disinfect it!
How does that work...??
Linda C

    Bookmark   February 4, 2008 at 11:32AM
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LindaC, I tried to reply earlier but my browser crashed!

When I went to that xmas "open house" the 'look' was:
walk in the front door (directly into the LR, with one of those add-on hardwood-type floors), greeted by the host who said: "We're asking everyone to remove their shoes for the comfort of all the guests.". (WHAT?!)

There was no closet or place to put coats -- so I removed my coat and handed it to the host. There was one small scatter rug, already overflowing with shoes. There was NO place to sit down to remove my shoes, and then no place to put them. (eventually the door and 'entryway' were littered with shoes).

The gathering place was in the kitchen/dining area off the LR. It had cold tile floors. There were no scatter rugs anywhere -- I looked, because my feet were freezing and I spent the entire time there with one or the other foot against the back of my other leg trying to get it to warm up.

That hostess has never offered or been asked to remove her shoes in my house. I was shocked that I was asked to remove my shoes at her "party". To those who say I should have brought slippers to wear: it never occurred to me that she would ask me to remove my shoes, if I wanted to wear slippers I would have stayed at home, and it's plain gross to carry slippers with you to someone else's house.

I really hated being cold and barefoot in a house where I didn't know if I might step on a glass shard, let alone mingling with un-shoed strangers who might have any number of contagious foot problems!

    Bookmark   February 4, 2008 at 7:21PM
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This thread was left on my computer screen and a friend saw it and read through it ... he commented that he believes that it is illegal to go without shoes in any restaurant in this state. He also said that he's heard the argument that not wearing shoes will promote healthier feet, and the same about being overall healthier if you don't wear clothes. Therefore, he likes to ask everyone to remove their clothing when they visit his home. LOL!

    Bookmark   February 4, 2008 at 9:52PM
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Yeah....in places where there might be a question, not talking high end spots, there is a sign on the door..."no shoes, no shirt, no service."
Sorry about your friend....he'll likely find that the bit about asking friends to remove their clothing won't be well recieved by some!...But I have heard bare bottoms are a cure for diaper rash....

    Bookmark   February 5, 2008 at 12:38AM
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Our dog used to love removing insoles from shoes and boots; our daughter had a dozen friends over one night and Roxie had a ball going to town with all the shoes and boots in the entrance. I caught her at one point in the evening and I tried my best to reinsert the removed insoles in the proper places; not easy, I'm sure some guests felt weird in their boots when they left and didn't know why.

this thread brought back memories of this event; lindac, I too can't imagine what an ocean of shoes would look like, for a large shoeless party; quite funny really. I sure hope I'll never have to experience this !!!!!!
or if I do, I'll try to get a photo and post it here, lol............

    Bookmark   February 7, 2008 at 7:06AM
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All I can think of is the episode of Sex and The City, where the friend having a party made everyone remove their shoes and someone walked off with Carie's Manolo Blanicks. She offered to reimburse her but then had a hissy fit when Carie told her she paid $400.00 for them.

Have to say lot's of our friends seem to remove shoes at home. Not one has ever required it of me. Usually, I'll remove them if I am wearing socks and am casually dressed. But if I'm in sandals they stay on. And all my dress pants are hemmed for heels, so they would be dragging on the floor. Of course I always make sure my shoes are not muddy or dirty.

My question for those who require guests to remove shoes is, do you have dogs or cats who have the run of your house? What do you do about them? And do you consider that your guest may be put off by having to walk barefoot where your pets have been walking or laying?

    Bookmark   November 9, 2013 at 2:59PM
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